- With the change of power, attitudes towards people also change. Previously there were WORKERS, and now there are WORKERS.
- I don’t want to work like that in the spring. and if he also falls in love.
- The most important days in work are salary and advance payment.
- For such a salary you can only leave the house, get to the nearest transport and go back))
- If the bosses think that what they pay is a salary, then let them also think that what I do is a job.
- We have two secretaries at work - one for work, the second for the boss.
- I go to work to play on the computer, drink tea and chat with the director.
Funny statuses
I don't usually sleep with guys on the first date.
But this time I couldn’t stand it and fell asleep.
Philosophical logic is the art of telling lies. Scientific logic is the art of stating the obvious. Women's logic is the art of presenting obvious lies. Our country cannot be defeated. Even after the war we kill German cars on our roads. Having familiarized myself with the prices for various organs of the body, I was once again convinced that I have a very rich inner world. What a mate is to a Russian, a surname is to a Chinese. -Don't blow my mind! -It seems to me that they never brought him there!
The Lord protects us all. But the shelf life is different for everyone. If a woman says that the sexiest thing about a man is his brains, that means that’s what she’s going to fuck. Well, why do I need your sines and cosines?
Am I going to come to the store and measure the angles between the meridians of bread? Men are like books: sometimes they are boring, sometimes they are interesting, and sometimes they have money hidden in them.
Jokes about Sports
Unusual things (7 photos) 7 simple and effective ways purify the water.
(7 photos) Jennie Garth was born on April 3, 1972! (6 photos) Volcanic eruptions, view from space (7 photos) All the tricks of our Kuzichkin))) (10 photos) All materials posted on the site are presented for informational purposes only and are the property of their copyright holder.
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Vacation Many people associate vacation with relaxation.
These words even sound similar, which is why we associate them.
For those who are looking for where and how to relax, we have also compiled a separate section in which we will talk about vacations in most countries of the world in different months. In addition, we will talk about the features of the visa regime for certain countries, and also provide a list of countries to which you can travel without a visa. For many, during a crisis, issues arise with the fact that employees are sent on unpaid leave. Many people, for a variety of reasons, want to take a vacation at their own expense.
We will also consider issues of such leave.
And of course, we will not forget about such issues as vacation pay.
Discussions PHRASES after sex. Aries. ok, here we go again! Taurus.
I am hungry! pass me the pizza! twins. Where's the TV remote control? Cancer. when will we get married? lion. wasn't I really magnificent? virgin. Let me see the sheets. libra: if you liked it, i liked it too. scorpio. Perhaps now we can untie you. Sagittarius. don’t call me, I’ll call myself. Capricorn. Do you have a business card? Aquarius. Now let's try without clothes!fish. so what do you say your name is?
A woman is always right.2. If the woman is wrong, see paragraph 1.3. There are never too many boots.4.
Bags too.5. Even more so underwear.6. Not to mention cosmetics.7. Women's logic exists.8. If you think it doesn't exist, see
Event To join the group, you need to log in.
clause 1.9. Diamonds are the best investment.10.
Information Description: Express business dating - connecting the right people in one place and allowing you to get the maximum number of contacts in a short time. WHO WE WANT TO SEE: - mothers and expectant mothers, - employers who are looking for online employees, and off-line work at home for mothers. Show in full... - leisure for mothers - training for mothers - psychologist for mothers - fitness and beauty for mothers - nutritionists for mothers and children - family photographers - nannies -.
advise us who else you would like to see. A modern mother, thanks to modern methods and technologies, can devote more time to her baby. IN Lately The face of motherhood has changed a lot - women tend to focus only on the child during the period of caring for the baby.
Work for women on maternity leave includes many options - part-time work and full-time work remotely.
Cool statuses about maternity leave
Who said that maternity leave is a vacation? Maternity leave means working two shifts plus night duty. DEPARTMENT is the same job. Only the boss is younger.)))
Maternity leave is also work.
only the boss has to be carried in his arms))) Maternity leave, of course, leaves an imprint on the female brain... I have no idea what’s going on in the country, but I know that Luntik’s grandfather’s name is Shershulya...)))
A FRIEND IS IN TROUBLE, AND HUSBAND IS ON MATERNITY LEAVE!
Girls, don’t believe the phrase “SIT” while on maternity leave.
In it they wash, wash, clean, cook, feed, play, draw, sing, read, sculpt, teach, put to sleep, catch up, hide, crawl on all fours, rock, calm - but just DO NOT SITT!
Maternity leave and anticipation of the birth of a long-awaited baby is the most fertile time for thoughts, reflections, dreams and statuses. The woman is looking forward to the arrival of a new person - her beloved child, her mood is high, and most importantly, she has a lot of free time, and she gladly posts statuses about maternity leave. The same condition occurs after the birth of a child - only there is a little less time for statuses.
Everything will happen soon
Expecting a baby is a wonderful time for any expectant mother. She gets ready and imagines what her daughter or son will be like, buys clothes for him and chooses a stroller and crib. All thoughts are aimed only at ensuring that the child is born as soon as possible - healthy, strong, and that the birth takes place without complications. Statuses about maternity leave can be a little agitated, but always positive:
- You live in me - every day I feel how cramped you are.
- I'm so waiting for you, my baby, you are the best thing that could happen to me.
- I seize every moment and listen to you - we will meet soon.
- I only saw you in the ultrasound photo, I’m looking forward to your appearance.
- When you press your heel into my stomach, you signal that it’s time.
- My little one lives inside me, it’s just a miracle!
- We walk together for hours, during walks my baby is always calm and doesn’t kick.
- I remember every moment until you were born, but already with me.
The long-awaited baby was born
After giving birth, a mother’s joy knows no bounds - the long-awaited happened - her baby was born. And ahead are three years of maternity leave and close communication with your child. Mom wants to share every moment and post statuses about maternity leave and how her baby is developing:
- The best three years lie ahead of us - acquaintance, getting used to, love and understanding.
- The first month - they just slept and ate, the second they began to “hoot”, the third - tears and loud screams appeared, the fourth - you generally already understand everything.
- “What a calm child I have - he lets his mother sleep and surf the Internet,” I thought so for a short time - just one month.
- Even sleepless nights with a baby are joy and happiness.
- Maternity leave is not even a vacation, it is an immersion in the active rhythm of life, where there is no place for makeup, manicure and other unimportant matters.
- Why is maternity leave called vacation? This is work, although not hard labor, but very difficult.
- My husband promised to take me on vacation for so long that he finally fulfilled it - he just didn’t take me anywhere, but set up a resort at home - “rest, honey, for three whole years, I promised.”
- I’m spinning like a squirrel in a wheel - but there are no results, only my child knows that we did a bunch of important things: scattered, collected, swept, poured, erased, drew, washed, and so on.
- My husband’s question when I’m on maternity leave: “Well, what did you do?” - it just unsettles me - I sunbathed, swam, went to a makeup artist, damn it...
- I always wanted my husband to see what a mess it was 20 minutes before he arrived. But my conscience does not allow me to keep everything the way we “played” with the child.
- Calm and measured maternity leave ends when your baby crawls. Everyone is on alert every minute. I'm afraid to think what will happen when he runs...
- Dad was the most happy that his son was going. Of course, he's at work all day...
- My child took his first steps. Well, the competition “Try, catch up!” begins!
- Husbands get to know each other on vacations - especially on maternity leave.
- I feel so sorry for my unmarried, childless, but well-groomed and beautiful friend. Whenever we meet, she always pats me on the head and sadly says: “Well, mother, you’ve given up: you’ve gained weight, your hair is greasy, your eyes are crazy...” And I feel sorry for her - all this is crap, your appearance, this is a gainful matter, it’s important - my son is nearby, but you don't have it.
- Maternity leave is held under the motto “All the best for children!” Never mind!
- While on maternity leave, I removed the mirrors; I don’t need them yet.
- Going out for a walk with a stroller is going out into the world. Only then do you remember that you haven’t washed your face or combed your hair yet, and it seems like you haven’t brushed your teeth either...
- Previously, when men on the street would break their necks, I knew for sure that I was so beautiful. Now the reaction is different - probably milk on the jacket, greasy hair, face in baby puree...
- Every minute communication with a child on maternity leave is an undoubted joy, but sometimes you really want to lock yourself in an empty, dark room for at least an hour...
- Maternity leave is a real vacation, just not for yourself.
- Everyone goes on maternity leave, but I don’t remember myself.
- As soon as the baby was born, my husband began having evening planning meetings, reporting, and meetings of the founders.
- On maternity leave there is enough time for everything, just not for yourself.
All that's left to do is laugh
When fatigue is already overwhelming all emotions, mommy can sit down for 5 minutes and relax, setting funny statuses about maternity leave. After all, only humor and positivity can relieve chronic fatigue, lack of sleep and overwork:
- The first two months are difficult, then you realize that they were the easiest.
- This morning I saw myself in the mirror - I was scared, I thought my mother-in-law had arrived.
- Previously, laws were called decree, now they are full-length fun.
- I learned to sleep for 3 hours, hear a child’s breathing in his sleep, predict his mood, accurately find pacifiers and bottles in the dark - maybe I’m becoming a psychic?..
- I began to understand those mothers who dream of working while on maternity leave.
- Running in circles while on maternity leave is comparable to a marathon - there are no stops, you can only drink water as you go.
- Now I remember with nostalgia those years when I was bored.
- I began to enjoy the baby’s sleep - only in these minutes can I make coffee for myself and drink it calmly.
- While on maternity leave I had to buy new shoes - all without heels - why do I need them?
- Yes, I immediately forget my lack of sleep and fatigue as soon as the child begins to smile at me and holds out his arms.
- I’m ready to stay up for three more nights for his smile.
- "On holiday?" – the neighbors sitting on the bench asked me. I wanted to answer: “On hellotvacation!” But she smiled sweetly and said: “Yes, in relative terms.”
- If it weren’t for my mother and her daily 2-hour walks with the stroller, I would have gone wild and turned into an animal.
- What's it like to be on maternity leave? I can’t sit down for a minute at all.
- My best time is at 10:30 pm – the baby is sleeping, my husband is still at work. I'm alone!
- After a friend asked on the phone: “Well, how are you doing, is it fun?” – I always invite her to have fun together. Never came. Although there was no need to call before.
Positive all day
In any situation, especially during maternity leave, mothers should not lose composure and patience. A funny joke and statuses about maternity leave will help with this:
- I really want to fall into postpartum depression - lie down, moan, mope. They don’t, especially my baby.
- Yes, postpartum depression is the lot of a select few, apparently those who have nannies on hand.
- Sometimes I get so tired on maternity leave that I want to go on non-maternity leave.
- I catch myself thinking that I’m starting to hate Rapunzel, Luntik and even Winnie the Pooh.
- Toys always scattered throughout the apartment force me to do exercises several times a day.
- You should treat maternity leave as heaven on earth - the child is healthy, fed, clean, the floors are washed, the dishes too, there is no dust, there were walks, it’s okay that you have a pile on your head and forgot to wash yourself - but everything is shiny, and everyone is happy.
- Only on maternity leave can you check on your friends: those who are constantly busy are crossed off the list.
- Of all my friends, only my mother helped me during maternity leave.
- When I ask my husband to take a walk with the child on his day off, he playfully answers me: “It’s so wonderful to go out with a stroller and breathe.” fresh air! It’s okay that I experience these “beauties” 2-3 times a day, and besides, I cook them. I wash, wash, sew, iron, play, cook again, wash again, iron again, feed again...
- On his days off, a good husband lets you sleep, go to the hairdresser, and even visit his girlfriends. The bad guy gives it all to himself.
- The first month of maternity leave I was so happy - freedom! I got up, fed, changed diapers, hooted - and that’s it, the baby sleeps for 3-4 hours, and I’m a queen. Now the prince is my son.
- Soon to kindergarten! I didn’t think I’d be so happy about the end of my vacation.
- Five minutes on Odnoklassniki costs a mother 3 hours of general cleaning.
- I only got on the computer for 5 minutes. Where did the torn, shredded curtains, the gutted pillow, the brilliant green spilled on the floor, the scattered flour come from? Poltergeist? No, this is my inquisitive baby.
- After today’s “Mamaev’s massacre” I made a conclusion for myself - to log into the computer only when he is already asleep.
- Maternity leave is joy and sadness, a storm of emotions and passions, eternal movement and bustle, and the vacationer is a multi-armed polynomial.
Cool statuses about maternity leave
IN seven for now. I got knocked up. I'll be there in three years.
***
TO It's great to be on maternity leave!!! Jumped up at 6 o'clock, fed, washed, played peek-a-boo, cooked dinner, fed, put to bed, washed, fed, played peek-a-boo, bought, put to bed, you can go and comb your hair...
***
TO Every woman sometimes has to go on maternity leave...to take care of herself!
***
D secret leave, of course, leaves an imprint on a woman’s brain... I have no idea what’s going on in the country, but I know that Luntik’s grandmother’s name is Baba Kapa...
D A friend is known in trouble.. A hero in battle.. A wife in poverty.. A husband on maternity leave.
***
D A vacation is a time when going to the store is perceived as going out, and going to the hairdresser is actually a business trip!
***
WITH With the birth of a child, a woman develops inhuman abilities - to see in the dark... to hear through sleep... to walk silently and not sleep for days...
***
N and in an interview:
— Where did the last employee go?
- Went on maternity leave!
- It's dangerous here...
***
TO DID YOU SAY THAT MATERNITY IS A VACATION?! Maternity leave means working two shifts, plus night duty!
***
P After weaning the baby, she drank coffee not because she really wanted to, but because she could.
M already gave me a ticket to the resort - ‘DECREE’!!! Such an extensive program, you don’t even have time to sleep!!!
***
P Until the little child runs out of cookies - the mother must have time to wash herself, get dressed, eat and wash the dishes... The army is resting compared to maternity leave...
***
IN The same is true for those men whose spouse is on maternity leave: the floors are washed, the linen is ironed, the first, second, third and compote are ALWAYS ready... And even the wife has breasts like Pamela Anderson without any expenses!
***
P The process of decorating a Christmas tree in a house where there is a two-year-old child is almost endless.
***
IN I'm bored... You have nothing to do... Give birth... and everything will pass!!!
***
E If you don't sleep at night, then you're either on maternity leave or on the Internet
***
T Only mothers on maternity leave understand how nice it is to drink tea alone at 2 am!
***
E x, it’s good to stay at home with a small child! Sometimes you get up at 7 in the morning, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, you go into the kitchen, pour hot, freshly brewed coffee and... drink it on a cold evening, when the birds are already sleeping and the moon is shining...
R The baby is sleeping and... mom is free!!! If you want to wash, if you want to clean, if you want to steam at the stove!!! Rest... I don't want to!
***
AND after all, I am a witch!
While my baby is sleeping, which is 2-2.5 hours, I have time to: walk down the street with him, cook something to eat, clean the house, chat on Odnoklassniki, sit on JM, drink tea, watch TV... Well, aren’t I a sorceress!
As reported by AFP, in accordance with US national legislation, all young mothers have the right to be absent from work for 12 weeks after giving birth, but without any financial compensation.
In other countries, on the contrary, the state cares not only about the material support of its citizens, but also about the conditions: the number of days required for the prenatal and postpartum period is carefully studied and assigned.
For example, in Croatia, women will receive 100% of their wages for a whole year during maternity leave. In Norway, both parents receive 10 months of leave between them, four of which are exclusively for the father, and both receive 80% of their salary.
Five US states, including California and New York, offer some form of compensation during maternity leave, but statistics show that only 12% of women working in the private sector have access to paid leave.
This often puts women and their families in a bind, forcing them to choose between their health and the health of their child and the income of their families. Since women who are unable to receive compensation are forced to return to work 10 days after giving birth, this makes it impossible breast-feeding, so necessary for the child, and also threatens the health of the mother herself. From a medical point of view, it is recommended that a woman stay at home for at least six weeks after giving birth.
Only women on maternity leave know what it’s like to take care of yourself when you have small children. And especially when the kids are sleeping. You just shaved one leg or plucked one eyebrow - and that’s it, the end of happiness, you run to feed the child! And then you get so wrapped up that when you go out for a walk, you remember what you didn’t finish, when you catch the puzzled looks of passers-by and straighten your bangs. :)
I did a lot, a lot of things in the morning and cleaned and cooked, and rolled up a salad for the winter, and took the already made rolls down to the basement, and played with the children, and fed them, and bought them, and put them to bed at lunchtime. I sat down and thought, “What haven’t you done yet?” The pig remembered that he was hungry and went to give him something to eat. I hung out the laundry and then let the piggy go under the tree to collect the broken soft-boiled apricots. He really likes them and, by inertia, I already bought him from the hose and sent him to his place to sleep. Now all the fed ones are clean and asleep.
After watching the animated series “Monkeys” with my children, I recognized myself, even though I only have two little ones, but I also run after them all day long, correcting their mistakes and pranks, explaining that this is not possible. But children are children and they have a lot of energy for the whole day until late at night. Only in the late afternoon the fatigue knocks me off my feet. But this is a great time)))
