But what does it look like on the outside? confident is there a person in you? Psychologists say that confident maybe only that one Human who loves himself. Of course, this must be healthy, adequate self-love. You can't indulge in narcissism. However, you need to feel love for yourself, like yourself. And only after this you will gain confidence and communicate freely with others.
But how to achieve this?
Now we will formulate the main characteristics inherent in a confident person, and based on this, we will try to understand how to achieve a confident external image.
In the arsenal of a confident person, the required attributes are:
1. Confident look.
A person who is confident in himself has a special look. He is calm and sincere. He has faith in himself and confidence in his own rightness, intelligence, healthy pride, lightness.
Insecure people may look confident on the outside, but their eyes give them away. They have fear, shyness, timidity.
The question arises. How to learn this look? There are techniques that can do this.
Go to the mirror and look carefully at yourself. Try to remember those events in your life that you are proud of. Maybe it’s winning a competition or successfully defending a thesis, or maybe everyone admires your culinary skills. Remember and look at yourself in the mirror, you will feel a surge of joy and pride. Your eyes will light up, and your gaze will become brighter and bolder. This is the look of a confident person. Try to remember it.
If later during the conversation you suddenly feel that confidence is slipping away, begin to intensively remember the most successful things in your life and a confident look will reappear.
2. Calm facial expression.
The face of a self-confident person is calm, friendly, and harmonious.
Let us dwell separately on harmony. A self-confident person rarely resorts to methods that do not correspond to his life principles. Therefore, his words and emotions are always truthful. There is no disharmony on his face.
In the facial expressions of a confident person there are no halftones or hints, which are not uncommon in everyday life. Of course, it would be wrong to assume that a confident person is always uncompromising and straightforward, but basically, there is one specific emotion on his face, and it is always clear what he intends to say.
To learn how to manage your emotions, you need to practice in front of a mirror. But to consolidate the result, it is necessary that facial expressions be based on inner confidence.
3. Style that emphasizes confidence.
How should a confident person dress? In a strict business suit, haute couture clothes, fashionable and always in place?
This is not what we should focus on, although all this, of course, is important. The main thing is that your clothing style should convey valuable information about your essence. So that by looking at you, we can give an adequate assessment.
Moreover, your clothing style should encourage you to perfect your look.
So, it is better for a shy person to dress as brightly as possible. This will attract attention to him. Although it will not be easy at first, gradually the shyness will go away.
If a person is timid in his actions, then a strict business suit will push him to be decisive in his actions.
4. Open and fluid gestures.
You can tell a lot about his confidence by the gestures a person displays. So, a confident person shows his hands to his interlocutor. This is a sign that he is not hiding anything. It is known that arms crossed on the chest are a sign of closedness, fenced off from the world.
He is also not characterized by imposingness and swagger. He doesn't wave his arms.
To come across as confident, you need to be precise with your gestures and only use them when necessary.
5. Simplicity, consistency, truthfulness.
A confident person looks natural. But naturalness does not contradict originality. If you overdo it when trying to create an image of a confident person, you may look too bland, without striking features. Here we need to find a middle ground.
You shouldn’t focus on your shortcomings; on the contrary, you should behave in such a way that your strengths are more clearly visible.
Many people play someone all the time. They often change their image. It is not right. The information that a person carries must be constant at least for some time. For example, if today you play the image of a business person, tomorrow a confident person from the world of bohemia, and the day after tomorrow - from the world of politics, then due to the frequent change of image, nothing will remain of your confidence.
How difficult and long a path do you need to walk in order to educate and grow it in yourself?
I wonder how faith in one’s own strength and trust in one’s own personality begins? Your opinion?
It turns out that confident behavior is the result of confident thinking. The way a person imagines himself is the way he looks. And he acts based on internal attitudes, ideas about himself.
How to become confident?
You can start with the simplest thing - portraying a confident person in any life situations. In the supermarket, in the pool, on the street, among colleagues, in the subway. Here the well-known law of the transition of quantity to qualitative changes. You will show more, and with every action you will become more confident. Step, one more, next. And the process began! With every step it gets better, more natural, more persistent.
This is how you can outsmart your thinking, which is fixated on patterns. You can easily and unobtrusively change your mind, imagining yourself as an actor who selflessly and talentedly plays a role. You decide when to put the actor on stage, when to turn the “switch” to turn it off. You are in complete control of the situation. You decided that at the party you will be embarrassed - there will be strangers there, so act like that. Be shy okay! With all your might! Tired of it? Switch the “switch” - choose confident behavior, communicate as equals, with dignity and self-respect.
How to look confident?
One hundred percent in the history of your life there were moments when you were a confident person.
Remember them.
Perhaps - in childhood, when you helped your little sister fasten her sandals, or at school, when you recited a poem you had learned with pleasure. Or in my youth, when I won sports competitions.
Or in situations when you were among close and dear people, when you spoke in front of an audience or talked with some person.
Recall in your memory the intonations, how you spoke, how you breathed, how you moved, how you gestured, what position you were in? What did the voice sound like, what did the face express, what were the sensations?
Now, in order to “turn on” the confident person in you, repeat all this, copy your posture, pace and volume of speech, gestures - get into the desired state. There is no need to invent anything, you have already been in this place - in the body, you were such a person, now you remember it and make it your natural state.
When you are confident, others perceive your dignity, self-confidence, and self-respect. And they strengthen you even more in these sensations.
- Space. A confident person inhabits the space well. Fully occupy the offered chair or armchair, lean back, use the armrests. Make broad gestures, on a grand scale, expanding the area of your influence. Be different from the insecure person, who, on the contrary, tends to shrink, shrivel up, take up as little space as possible, sit on the edge of the chair, and limit himself to meager gestures.
- No fuss. Is there a standard for a confident person for you? Who is this? Margaret Thatcher? Angelina Jolie? Ivan Urgant? Sylvester Stallone? Or someone else? Imagine your ideal, who nervously jumps up in his chair, fidgets, intensely fiddles with his tie, and beats the drum with his fingers on the table. Yes, it's hard to imagine. Confidence is incompatible with vanity. Take it away.
- Straight pose. In any position, standing or sitting, maintain an even posture. It allows you to radiate confidence, feel it and look like a confident person. Practice: chest forward, shoulders back, keep your head level in the horizontal and vertical plane. Imagine as if there is a string coming out of the top of your head that is pulling you into the heavens. Remember this pose and merge with it.
- Rate of speech. When someone jabbers and speaks very quickly, it is difficult for him to be confident and independent. A confident person speaks with feeling, clearly, with emphasis, without tension. He knows that he will not be interrupted, he will be allowed to speak. Speech rate is average and smooth. Make it a rule that the more worried and nervous you are, the slower and calmer you speak, and pause. Speak as if you are communicating with a child and it is important for you that he understands you.
- Me, me and me again. Speak in the first person. Use phrases: I think, I believe, I decided, I found out, I support, I disagree, I think differently. Feel free to express your opinion, do not hide behind the streamlined and impersonal “we”, “everyone”, “ joint decision", "every". Avoid excuses!
- Eye contact. A confident person shifts the focus from himself to others. He is not fixated on himself, he is interested in the interlocutor and the world. Therefore, a direct, open look is very important and helps to be confident and makes people understand your interest. When communicating, you connect not only your hearing, but also an additional channel of perception, “listen with your eyes”, perceive and understand your interlocutor more clearly.
- Dignity. Take the example of the king of beasts, the lion. What plasticity, strength and power he has in his movements. Slowly, with dignity, confidently, elegantly. To be sure, slow down. Move like a king. Your movements should be smooth, meaningful, thoughtful, unhurried.
- Acceptance of yourself and others. Be calm, friendly and kind, even if the other person does not agree with you or you with him. Believe in yourself, in your point of view. Yours will not make people think the same way as you. Your goal is to be respected.
- Gesture of a confident man – spire-gesture. The fingertips of one hand touch the tips of the other hand at an acute angle, forming a spire. This is a signal of confidence and calm. Use it as an additional way to behave confidently.
- Don't try to please everyone. You need to be good, first of all, for yourself. Your confidence should not depend on how, when and how you are assessed and accepted.
- Pauses. Not confident people They are afraid of silence, afraid of silence and quickly interrupt it. There is no need to “go out of your way” to fill every second with, albeit meaningless, chatter. Pause before you answer. Small. One to two seconds. Think about what you heard, what your interlocutor wanted to convey to you. This will give you confidence and help you control the situation in communication.
- Laughter. Don't giggle. You're not at the circus. Giggling is a sign of uncertainty and instability. Appreciate good jokes: smile or laugh calmly.
- Nodule disease. If you listen to your interlocutor and agree with him, you don’t need to continuously nod your head - you are not a “Chinese dummy.” You are a serious, confident person. A couple of head tilts in agreement are quite sufficient.
- Secret and obvious. Being in any situation: in or with people, in the rays of the sun or in the dark, do not do anything for which you will be ashamed of yourself. Act in accordance with your principles, do not prevaricate, and she will reward you with the foundation on which self-confidence and high self-confidence will rest.
- I don't know and I'm not afraid. If you want to be trusted, never be afraid to admit that you don't know something. “I have not yet encountered such a problem. Right now I don’t have an answer to this question.” It is impossible to know everything. Realize this and feel free to say what you don’t know. This will help you build your self-confidence even further.
Friends, everyone has absolutely everything they need to be confident, starting from today, from this moment. To do this, you do not need to read additional literature, make an appointment with a psychologist, or undergo training. Just decide to be a confident person, flip the switch and turn on your new personality. Good luck!
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You can see a real man a mile away. His demeanor sets him apart appearance, clothing, and speech. Using these factors, you can easily calculate how confident a man is.
Also, using these parameters, it is easy to identify representatives of the stronger sex who are not completely confident in their abilities.
This is important, because it is stupid for a man to look scared and shy. In order to make your appearance strict and confident, you need to know what a real male looks like.
The look of a confident male
- When a real man walks down the street, all the women turn to look at him. He is distinguished by his straight back and clear manner of walking. Most modern men do not pay due attention to their posture, but in vain. At first it may seem like hellish work, but in the future it will pay off. Even in old age, when everyone around you is stooped, you will look healthy and beautiful. Get into the habit of moving your shoulders back to show off your ribcage. With this pose you will show your confidence to the people around you.
- When you go forward, you need to look forward. Don't hide your gaze on the floor. When talking to another person, you need to look parallel to his head. Looking away to the side or down means that a person is not sure about something. A confident look will betray the masculinity of any guy.
- During unusual situations, most men begin to panic and fuss. The main features of an insecure person are twitching, active gesticulation, and shaking of the leg. A nervous tic will not betray your confidence from the outside, so learn to control your emotions if you don’t want to look funny.
- Your handshake speaks volumes about your character. The stronger you shake your friend's hand, the better he will think of you. A steady hand means you have a strong character. Greet with confidence, but don’t overdo it, otherwise you might break your interlocutor’s fingers.
- Always improve your speech and diction. Clear and confident speech is an ace that every man should have up his sleeve. The inability to express one's thoughts clearly and clearly is a vice that needs to be eliminated immediately. You can see his character and confidence in a man’s voice.
- Pay attention to your clothes, neatness, and the smell that comes from you. You should always look attractive, well-groomed and courageous. You will be respected and appreciated for your clear and clear position.
Our body can sometimes tell more about us than we would like. Body language can tell our interlocutor what we are thinking about and what we are afraid of. In many companies, people who hire people have a basic knowledge of body language. These people understand perfectly well what this or that posture of a job applicant signals.
We often feel awkward and constrained in situations that are important to us. Is it possible to change this state and demonstrate self-confidence to your interlocutor? There are certain gestures and demeanor that can convince most people of your self-confidence and win them over. So, what should you do to make a good impression on everyone without exception?
Smile
If a person smiles, it means that he is not only happy and satisfied, but also confident. His smile signals that he is not afraid of the world around him and feels completely comfortable. Such people invariably evoke the sympathy of others.
Square your shoulders
A confident person usually does not hunch over or drag his feet. Keep your back straight and your shoulders back to radiate strength and make a positive impression on others. It is better to walk broadly, and not mince, timidly looking around.
A confident person has nothing to hide. He does not look at the floor, does not hide his eyes and calmly holds the gaze of his interlocutor. It is very important to make eye contact during conversations, because... this convinces your opponent that you are sincere and confident in your words.
Get your hands out of your pockets
Don't hide your hands in your pockets or behind your back. This may convince your interlocutor that you are hiding something after all. It is best to allow your hands to be in a calm and relaxed position. If you are sitting, you can, for example, place them on your lap or on a table.
Watch your appearance
An unkempt person with disheveled hair and the smell of unwashed armpits may arouse the sympathy of others, but it is unlikely to evoke their sympathy. And it’s unlikely to add self-confidence to you. It is worth spending time on your appearance not only before important events, but also on any other day.
Radiate calm
Many people who have to have a difficult conversation start to swing their legs, jerk their knees, or gesticulate too much. It certainly takes your mind off the feelings of fear and anxiety that are burning you up inside. However, such body movements make an unpleasant impression on the interlocutor. First, they clearly show that you are nervous. And secondly, they infect others with the same nervousness. It’s better to calm down and radiate calm.
Don't cross your arms
This gesture is interpreted by most people clearly as a gesture of protection. You demonstrate to others that you do not want to communicate or that the topic of conversation is unpleasant to you. It is unlikely that this will add to your sympathy from colleagues or acquaintances. This position is one of the most unfortunate ones during an interview.
Don't talk too much
Many of us constantly twirl something in our hands during a conversation, cross our fingers, clench our hands into a fist, or constantly touch our faces and run our hands through our hair. This clearly signals our lack of self-confidence. It is best to try to sit still and not make too many unnecessary movements.
It is impossible to please everyone, but in certain situations we need to make a good impression on others. No matter where we are - at an interview or on a date, self-confidence and a positive attitude will always help tip the scales in our favor.
Irina Gorbunova
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We are all overly critical of ourselves at times. Even recognized beauties have complaints about their appearance, and doctors of science consider themselves stupid. And this is another proof that in fact, appearance or intellectual abilities have nothing to do with it. Dissatisfaction with oneself is a sign of insecurity, the cause of which is complexes.
Editorial website I have collected psychological techniques that will help you become a confident person.
1. Give yourself a confident look
Slouching is a sign of insecurity, so right now straighten your back and stand or sit straight. Assuming a confident posture, pay attention to your speech. Stop mumbling. A calm, deep voice will convince not only your interlocutor of your confidence, but also you. And don't forget that confident people never walk with their feet pointed inward. The brain clearly reacts to facial expressions and posture and gradually takes on a new position as the main one. Gradually, you yourself will believe in your own confidence.
2. Remove markers of uncertainty from your speech.
“Can I...”, “it seems”, “seemingly”, “probably”, “if it doesn’t bother you”, “you couldn’t” - this is not just verbal garbage. These phrases reveal that you are an insecure person. Forget them - and gradually you will get rid of your insecurities too. If you want to say an “uncertain” word, it is better to pause your speech. Hesitations and anxiety during communication are perceived by the interlocutor as sincerity.
3. Go back to childhood
The more you try to get rid of complexes, the more they eventually overwhelm you, psychologists say. A more correct tactic is to try to figure out where the complexes come from. Maybe someone in your childhood inadvertently said that you have small eyes or big ears? Well, isn’t it stupid to still believe in this?
4. Find your strengths
Do you think your ears are ugly? What is beautiful about you? To rebuild your self-esteem, focus all your attention on the advantages of your appearance: expressive eyes, smooth skin and a pleasant smile. And you will understand that the face is harmonious as a whole, and the ears have nothing to do with it.
5. Say goodbye easily to those who undermine your self-confidence.
Did a friend casually mention your plump legs in conversation? This is a serious reason to think about your own self-esteem. Psychological research show that insecure people themselves are the cause of bad attitudes towards themselves, albeit unconsciously.
Reconsider your relationships with people. Those of them who seek to present themselves in a favorable light against the background of others themselves have serious psychological problems. And you certainly don’t need the company of such characters.
6. Talk about your strengths
Try to remember the main milestones in your life and your own achievements at each stage. Recognize your own merits in achieving even small success. Keep a diary where you note these events.
In our society, it is not customary to tell others about your achievements. We are afraid that they may consider such behavior as boasting. However, by declaring your successes without undue modesty, you first of all convince yourself that you are worth something.
7. Don't try to appear better than you are.
9. Remember the grievances
I want to forget about the grievances as soon as possible. However, leaving negativity in the depths of our souls does not get rid of it. Over time, this burden becomes heavier, poisoning our existence. Sit down and concentrate to write down your grievances in a notebook. After this work is completed, begin to let go of grievances one by one. Gradually, you will develop the habit of recognizing negativity and working with it.
10. Admit mistakes
The principle is the same as in the previous paragraph: by turning a blind eye to your own mistakes, you deny the experience that life has given you. The advice comes down to a written analysis of situations with the conclusions that you made in each case. How did this or that story that you call a mistake help you? What lesson did she teach you and how can it be useful today?
11. Leave female and male stereotypes behind.
How many times have you heard that a girl should be modest and fragile? So often that you believed it yourself? So a bright personality becomes quiet, just to fit into outdated stereotypes. And how many men suffer from the fact that they cannot show tenderness and weakness - “men don’t cry.” It's time to leave these remnants where they belong - in the past.
12. Describe the roles you play
Don't know how to love yourself? Take care of your health. Start by going to the doctor and joining a gym. Along with changing your lifestyle, you will gain a blooming healthy appearance, and the habit of paying attention to yourself will become the basis of healthy self-esteem.
14. Become the center of attention
Insecure people are afraid to attract attention to themselves. But the only way to deal with your fears is to face them. Do you feel weak in your knees at the thought of public speaking? Prepare a report and find an opportunity to become a speaker.
If your job doesn't involve participating in conferences or at least meetings, try yourself as a model. Pose for artists or sign up for a photo shoot. By attracting the views of others, you get used to being calmer about other people's opinions about yourself.
14. Wear a lucky bracelet
Try to remember the moments when things are good and you are on the rise. A joyful event has occurred or you have achieved something - put on jewelry that will be associated with this success. Now, every time in moments of confusion and uncertainty, just look at your “lucky accessory” and your doubts will disappear.
15. Don't change your mind
“Nothing to wear” is a problem of choice that plagues millions of women around the world every morning. Psychologists advise sticking with the first idea that comes to mind. And even if you later realize that this blue dress doesn’t quite suit you, by all means wear it.
Learn to respect your choices even in small things. Don't ask a waiter for advice in a restaurant. In the morning, choose the path you will take to work and stick to it. Learn to listen to yourself - and one day you will notice that making serious decisions has become much easier.
16. Get rid of guilt
Guilt is a powerful means of manipulation. This is the tool that other people use to control you. And this whole story stretches back to childhood. Sometimes anxious parents burden their children with a severe sense of guilt, acting out heart attacks every time the child “messed up,” that is, did not behave the way they wanted. Having absorbed these models, many carry a feeling of guilt through their lives, becoming a victim of the manipulation of others.
After forgiving the wrongs caused by other people, do not forget to forgive yourself. Remember that resentment is always a choice, albeit an unconscious one. Feeling resentful and blaming someone else for your problems is an example of destructive behavior. Do not let the feeling of guilt that interested people impose on you into your life.
You can also recite it yourself, stepping from foot to foot. In this way, you set an anchor in the body, forcing it to remember the new setting.
18. Find your flaw in a celebrity
Do you have crooked teeth or short legs? Take a closer look at an actress or actor with the same feature. For example, in an interview, Gerard Butler talks about his protruding ear, which make-up artists sometimes have to glue to the skull, Mila Kunis has multi-colored eyes, and her husband Ashton Kutcher has fused toes. Despite the almost unlimited possibilities of cosmetology and plastic surgery, not all stars are in a hurry to improve their appearance. Celebrities around the world consider their physical disabilities to be their highlights, so why not follow their example?
After this, intensify this feeling as much as possible and bring it to the extreme point. Continue until the uncertainty bursts like a bubble, freeing you.
Perhaps the most important, albeit banal, piece of advice is to not give a damn about the opinions of others. Forget about the stereotypes imposed by the media and film industry. And every time you have a strong desire to change something about yourself, remember that dissatisfaction with your appearance can be a symptom of deeper psychological problems. Harmony with yourself is much more important than conforming to imposed stereotypes, don’t you agree?
