Psychological self-defense. Methods of psychological self-defense (coping). How does a confident person behave?

I found an excellent article about the psychological foundations of self-defense and self-defense: V. Mokshin. Psychological techniques for self-defense from intruders. - Fundamentals of safety and life.

The psychological foundations of self-defense are more important than the physical foundations. So, if a person uses the data described below, then, strictly speaking, he will not need physical influence.

This article echoes the series of articles about the Intention to Win, which has already been touched upon earlier on our website. So, let's move on to the article itself. We've added a couple of comments and a few changes that we think will improve the understanding and applicability of the material.

Victimology, that is, the science of victim behavior, can explain what guides a street robber or rapist when choosing a victim. Studies have shown that a criminal needs an average of seven seconds to assess a potential target of attack - his physical fitness, temperament, etc. The criminal notes everything: hesitation in his gaze, timid movements, sluggish posture, physical disabilities, mental depression, fatigue - in a word, everything , which will play into his hands.

This doesn't mean that criminals are mindfulness geniuses or super observant people. Literally a week of training - and you will also be able to notice these signs.

To find out the basic personality traits of a potential victim, pedestrians were filmed. The recording was shown to prisoners serving time for various crimes. And here is the result. The overwhelming majority of the convicts, who were interviewed separately, chose from the crowd the same people who, in their opinion, could become easy prey.

It turned out that criminals usually identify potential victims based on certain distinctive features movements. This may be their general lack of coordination, clumsiness of gait - too sweeping or mincing. Two categories of people were identified:

the so-called “risk group”. They can conditionally be called wimps: they are poorly physically organized, relaxed and uncollected.

and those who are in little or no danger of being attacked. These are self-confident, as they say, “well-cut, tightly sewn,” they look and walk with confidence.

First of all, it is important to know what behavior can help you avoid confrontation with intruders. The following table helps answer this question:

We on the site have so far touched little on such a part of self-defense as emotions. But pay attention to the fact that the list of traits in the left column is typical for a person with the emotional tone of “Fear”. So a simple “I will not be a victim” will not get you off here. But more on this in future articles. Let's return to the main text.

Well, now about how to learn to behave confidently, thereby reducing the risk of attack by intruders.

Self-defense is an act of self-confidence. This is a refusal to accept “victim status.” So training aggressiveness and self-confidence turns out to be an integral part of the self-defense system. What's the point of training a technique if you don't have the courage to use it!

Assignment: Give some examples from your life when you implemented the “act of self-confidence”, that is, when you successfully carried out self-defense?

But what is confidence? Confidence is a special type of behavior that helps us express – clearly and intelligibly – our feelings and desires. It is the opposite of passive behavior, where our expression is often lost in vague or indecisive actions. Confident behavior thus does not give rise to misunderstandings. You know what you want and what you don't want.

Let's look at the typical responses of a confident person to unsolicited attacks and threats. You should work on such answers, pronounce them with conviction and with appropriate gestures: “Come on, don’t meddle with me,” “That’s why I gave you my bag,” “Stop it now!”, “Get out of my house!”

Assignment: Give several examples from your life when you showed confidence - that is, did not give rise to misunderstandings of your words or actions.

How can you show your confidence? There is a technique for demonstrating confidence, called the “broken record,” in which you continually repeat a phrase about what you want or don’t want, and in a decisive tone, until the listener either gives in or moves away. To effectively use this method, it is necessary to replace some words while maintaining the general meaning of the statement. For example, “You don’t dare enter my house!” changes to “So I let you in!” or “Why hang around here in vain, I won’t change my mind: you won’t enter the house” - and so on until your statement is accepted. The goal of using the broken record method is to persevere.

Important note: your statements must be presented in a new time unit with the intention of being understood. Otherwise, you will truly be perceived as a broken record or an answering machine. And they will act accordingly - that is, they will not pay any attention to your words.

Also note that this technique can be used not only when someone is attacking you - but in any case when you need to be understood.

Challenge: Successfully perform the “broken record” technique on people several times.

Learn to express your anger in front of the aggressor. Many people try to never get angry, preferring a “quiet life by any means necessary.” Most insecure people accept other people's behavior too easily. Meanwhile, you should not forget that you should also have your own opinion. Remember that you are not obligated to do anything that goes against your wishes. This is your life.

We already touched on emotions a little higher. Now let's briefly return to them. The paragraph about anger does not apply in all situations in life. It is only applicable when the attacker is in the emotional tone of “fear.” He is afraid of rebuff, receives it in the form of anger - and runs away empty-handed. However, if the attacker himself is in the “anger” tone... Well, in this case, you should learn to run fast and for a long time.

Assignment: give some examples of why you should be able to show your anger?

In the face of aggression, a trained person does not act as a superman who knows no fear. Training develops self-discipline and self-control. It builds the ability to act appropriately in spite of fear. The ability to cope with fear and channel it into successful self-defense is the result of the effort spent on the exercise.

Assignment: What is the ability to cope with fear?

By acting confidently, you make it clear that you are willing to stand up for yourself and should in no way be perceived as a potential victim.

Also keep in mind that “ostentatious” confidence, an “ostentatious” absence of fear at a time when you are actually afraid, may not help you. Many people can feel other people's emotions. Criminals are no exception (at least some of them are). So you either run away or you really are not in the “fear” tone.

Assignment: Give an example from your life that confirms Browning’s words.

Many conflicts and attacks occur through the fault of the victim herself, who shows by her appearance that she is either “ripe” (found herself in the wrong place and at the wrong time), or pliable (too easily accessible), or defenseless (drunk, scared, excited, too trusting). ). By eliminating these factors, you will greatly reduce the risk of becoming a victim.

Assignment: analyze your behavior for “maturation”, pliability and defenselessness - and eliminate at least a few (or better yet, all) of the factors that make you a victim.

First of all, you should try to influence the potential aggressor using persuasion methods. At the same time, it is even permissible to forget about your own pride for a while. However, you should always remember the fact that the criminal can attack at any time, and be ready to fight back.

If there is a possibility of a peaceful resolution to the conflict, it is worth trying to relieve tension, reach a mutually acceptable solution, or even seize the initiative.

Your success in relieving tension or taking the initiative in a dangerous situation depends on your own actions.

*Or it won't force you. It happens differently.

** Most often this sentence comes from the mouth of the aggressor in the form of “Let's go, let's go out.” But if he forgot, then you can remind

*** You may have noticed, but this point conflicts with the previously mentioned “don’t be afraid to show anger.” It seems that the authors of the article themselves understand that anger is not always useful. But they don't know what to do about it. However, you already know when anger works.

**** Why not encroach, if wisely? Read more in the article “Safe distance. Your own safe space"

So, not all the tips in this table are perfect. But of course, there is no one recipe for all occasions!

Assignment: Give a few more examples of what to do in the event of a collision.

The next important security factor is the ability to thwart the plans of attackers. This can be done using unexpected, unconventional actions, causing confusion for attackers.

That's right, surprise is what you need. Read more in the article “Surprise in self-defense”

If the victim resists, be it verbally, physically, or both, the element of surprise works against the criminal in exactly the same way that it should have worked against the victim in the first place. This is true in all circumstances, regardless of the type of incident: extortionists, handbag snatchers, burglars - they all rely on surprise. Depriving them of this factor is the first step to avoiding the unenviable fate of the victim.

Assignment: come up with MANY examples of how you can thwart the plans of your attackers?

Don't freeze, but use the same important principle - surprise. Let us give a fairly striking example of unexpected actions.

Success story: it happened in Italy. A criminal who tried to rob a pensioner lost a finger. An unknown person attacked a quiet old man who seemed absolutely harmless as he was leaving the post office, having received his monthly allowance there. He tried to snatch the pensioner’s wallet, but the old man, without hesitation, bit off the robber’s finger. Mad with pain, the robber ran away, forgetting about his wallet. On the same day, the bandit went to the clinic, not suspecting that the meticulous old man, although he saved his money, decided not to leave the attack without consequences and reported to the police. The carabinieri soon arrived at the hospital ward and showed the criminal his finger. Unfortunately, the victim was forced to give up his own finger to avoid going to jail. However, the police did not take his word for it: a forensic examination was ordered.

Assignment: Again, give LOTS of examples of unexpected self-defense actions.

The more examples you come up with, the less you will need to think in a critical situation.

If the conflict cannot be “hushed up,” you should use accessible and effective self-defense techniques.

You can confuse your attacker different ways. For example, if money is dropped on the ground, the aggressor may bend down to pick it up. This will give you the necessary moments to escape, and if it is not possible to escape for some reason, it will make the enemy’s face vulnerable to a kick.

In the same situation, you can point out what is currently outside the aggressor’s field of vision. Pretend that you see a policeman behind him. If the attacker looks back, you will again gain valuable time. Turning your head can throw your opponent off balance, which should be taken advantage of immediately: a push or blow to the face will further upset his balance, and you will accordingly have more time to escape.

You can pretend that one of your friends is approaching behind the aggressor. By accompanying the gesture with a call for help addressed to imaginary people, you can take advantage of the aggressor’s confusion.

Another variation of the distraction technique is known as the malingering technique, where you convince the attacker that you are about to give in to his demands and give up, say, a purse, wallet or tape recorder, and take the opportunity to stun him by hitting him in the face, groin or throat , which will give you the seconds you need to escape.

Assignment: again, give LOTS of examples of unexpected actions in self-defense.

Simulation can take many forms. Real life example: when robbers demanded all the cash from the postmaster at Broadstairs, he, holding his heart, fell to the floor and shouted for the criminals to call " ambulance" As a result, the frightened robbers fled with nothing. When the attackers fled, the head of the department stood up and called the police station.

If there is no way to retreat before superior enemy forces, play the role of a person who has powerful support, who is about to be approached by reliable defenders (father, older brother). For example, upon entering the entrance where a drunken company is located, the boy shouts, turning back (pretending that he is shouting to his lagging father): “Dad, hold Jack! As if he didn’t tear up the guys in the entrance!” - and, taking advantage of the hooligans’ confusion, he quickly passes by.

If you are detained and things are heading towards a conflict, try to give a compliment and divert the attention of the attackers to themselves. Conduct yourself with dignity, do not humiliate yourself. For example, a girl who could not expect anything good from drunken guys in a dark alley turned to them with a request: “Guys, I see you are not the timid type! Walk me to that house over there. I live here".

In a difficult situation, when several people are attacking you, identify a leader among them. Contact him. Try to play on his pride. So, one of the strongest sambo wrestlers in Altai, very strong man, found himself sandwiched on both sides on the roof of the train by armed criminals. Sambo techniques did not guarantee safety here. And then he turned to the gang leader: “Commander, I’ll take some of your guys under my wheels! Let's talk better on the ground during the stop. If you need money, vodka, I have something...” And this appeal worked: the guy was left alone.

Assignment: and back, give LOTS of examples of unexpected actions in self-defense.

In a situation where the criminal demands something from you, try to offer options for fulfilling the demands in order to gain time, change the conditions or location of the confrontation, or change the balance of power in your favor. The most common use of this technique is for women. They invite rapists to their home: there is music, wine, comfort. They declare that they like the man, but the meeting place (park, street, elevator, entrance) is not suitable for them. They bring the gullible villain home (not necessarily to their place), and there...

Assignment: give examples of using the considered defense technique.

If you consider it possible, try to evoke sympathy and pity from the attacker. Say that you are terminally ill, that you are going to get medicine for your seriously ill mother, that your father is under investigation, and that you have to take care of your younger brothers. For example, a teenager tells the robbers: “Guys! Let me go, otherwise my mother may die. I urgently need to buy medicine for her. She has diabetes."

If you were kidnapped in a car, you can tell the attackers that one of your loved ones saw everything and remembered the car number and the appearance of the kidnappers. It is known that by using the number of a car (if it is not stolen) its owner can be found very quickly. In this way, the Barnaul girl Natasha protected herself, who told the unlucky kidnapper that bus stop She was accompanied by her brother, who has a professional memory for car numbers: he is a taxi driver. And it worked. Not every criminal would like to deal with taxi drivers.

Task: Compare the listed self-defense techniques. How are the recommendations similar? What is their difference?

If an extreme situation suddenly arises associated with the threat of an attack or the attack itself, you can perform a technique: look up, taking a full deep breath, and, lowering your eyes to the level of the horizon, smoothly exhale the air, freeing your lungs as much as possible, and at the same time relax all your muscles . You can relax your muscles only when your breathing is regulated. In an extreme situation, if you breathe evenly and calmly, your muscles will also relax, and you will calm down very quickly. A few full breaths and exhalations - and everything is fine.

Task: practice doing this exercise regularly; don't wait for problems.

Do not allow despondency and apathy to appear. Strive to be, or at least look, cheerful, energetic in your movements, speech, and actions. Strive to find something good, pleasant or funny even in a difficult situation. Attackers prefer not to deal with people who are energetic, cheerful, and endowed with a sense of humor. And humor itself can often help in an extreme situation.

In this regard, the case that happened with Yuri Nikulin is typical.

One day late at night Nikulin was returning from the circus. There was not a soul on the dark streets of the city. Suddenly he was detained by armed robbers. They threatened him with weapons and demanded money from him. Nikulin was not at a loss. He laughed and dumbfounded the robbers: “What are you doing, guys! I just got robbed around that corner! Catch up with those guys, they have all my money!” The unlucky robbers had to be content with communicating with the great artist. But in the darkness they did not see Nikulin and let him go without asking for autographs.

Keep track of your appearance. Try not to stand out from the people around you with excessive extravagance, bright and unusual clothes, expensive things and decorations. All this attracts the attention of not only law-abiding citizens, but also criminals. When choosing clothes, you should avoid dark colors (dark brown, black), as they can increase the aggression of people around you.

Assignment: pay attention to how people who are usually lucky behave, who rarely find themselves in dangerous situations, who get away with it. How do they achieve this? What can you learn from their experience? Strive to notice your mistakes and failures to ensure personal safety. Learn from other people's sad experiences. Try not to make such mistakes in the future.

Many may object: if you constantly think about danger, you can get to the point where you will flinch at every sound, you will see an enemy in every person... However, being vigilant and being cowardly are not the same thing.

Being alert means paying attention to what is happening around you. Alertness is a state of mind. In the context of self-defense, it is also a state of mind in which observation is brought to such an automaticity that it is used at the subconscious level and is not associated with any effort. Vigilance should become conscious only when danger is either noticed or suspected. Caution and vigilance can be developed to such an extent that they become second nature. Thanks to these habits, you will know how to avoid an unpleasant situation before it arises.

Well, of course, none of the tips are guaranteed to help unless you practice their application in model situations with varying degrees of complexity. Tasks must be completed with a partner, since it is he who will evaluate how natural and complete the tasks turned out. Accordingly, I recommend completing the following practical tasks:

Talk to the “stranger” so that he feels your confidence and willingness to stand up for himself.

In a confrontation with an “attacker,” refuse to comply with his demands so that he feels your determination and courage.

Build your self-confidence using the “broken record” technique.

When meeting with an “attacker,” try to behave aggressively, offensively, and proactively.

When confronted with a “bully”, try to act unexpectedly, in an original way. Frustrate his plans, puzzle him, create circumstances unforeseen by him.

Try to find a peaceful solution to the conflict at the very beginning, when the attacker is trying to find a reason to clash.

When meeting with an “aggressor,” try to relieve tension: speak in a confident tone, address your interlocutor with respect, etc.

When meeting an “aggressor,” try to confuse him and then take advantage of his confusion.

During the “collision”, divert the attention of the “attacker”: call your father, call out to the policeman, etc.

In a difficult situation, mislead the “attacker”: feign fainting, illness, deafness, etc.

Try to behave in such a way that the “attacker” suspects: “Something is wrong here!” What the hell, his friends will come over!” and so on.

Portray a flexible person, ready to fulfill the demands of the “attacker”. Taking advantage of the fact that his caution is dulled (puts the “prey” in his pockets, etc.), act unexpectedly and decisively: “hit” or run away.

Practice overcoming excessive anxiety and fear.

Try to behave with the “attackers” in such a way as to play on their pride.

Talk to the “attacker” in such a way as to gain time, move events to the place you want, and change the balance of forces in your favor.

Practice speaking to the “attacker” in such a way as to evoke sympathy and pity from him.

Try to act in such a way that the “aggressor” no longer has the desire to deal with you (vomiting, runny nose, etc.).

You pass by a car. You are asked to come up and tell us how to get to the market, store, etc. Your actions in this situation.

A suspicious person stands at the elevator door and offers to enter together. What will you do in this case?

You have been kidnapped and taken in a car. Talk to the “attackers” so that they decide not to touch you and let you go in peace.

You are walking along a deserted evening street. Suddenly you notice that you are being pursued and are preparing to attack. Your actions in this situation.

During the “clash,” portray the person as weak, lethargic, and unable to fight back. Put the “attacker” to sleep, act quickly and decisively (hit, run away).

During the game, demonstrate such a level of self-confidence that the “attackers” have doubts whether it is worth continuing the attack, whether this will turn into big troubles for them.

During game “collisions,” try to determine what your partner is up to: he’s simply asking for a light, asking about something, or looking for a reason for a fight, attack, etc. Your interlocutor should sincerely play either an attacker or just a passerby (in his pocket respectively different objects).

When confronted with a partner, try to determine in which case cruelty and insidious plans are hidden behind kind words. In another case, you need to discern inner softness and kindness behind the severity and rudeness. The partner playing the role of a kind aggressor or a rude good-natured person must show some acting skills.

When working in pairs, try to play decisiveness and even aggressiveness with words, intonation, facial expressions, and gestures. Try to show aggressiveness in the form of refined politeness, for example: “Yes, of course, I’ll give you the jacket, I like you so much.” My older brothers also really “love” such brave guys!”

You have been attacked. You are being threatened. They demand things, money, etc. Try using humor. Act as if you are laughing, but it is not the “attackers” who are making you laugh, but your financial capabilities, allegedly you have just been robbed, etc.

Re-enact a situation where you are attacked by an “armed robber”. Act in such a way as to reduce the risk of him using weapons against you.

You have been attacked. You were left without things, etc. Describe the appearance, speech, behavior, clothing, physique, and other signs of the “criminals.” First, practice describing those who are now in front of you. Then give a description of the person, facing away from him.

6.2. PSYCHOLOGICAL SELF-DEFENSE (PSYCHOLOGICAL SAMBO)

The task of psychological sambo techniques is to protect oneself from the destructive consequences of barbaric attack and manipulation, to help oneself cope with stupefaction, confusion, and emotional storm in the soul. Sambo techniques allow you to gain the time needed to regain self-control and restore your ability to function in the intellectual layer of interaction with a partner.

We talk about self-defense, not self-defense, because at least three important differences can be distinguished between these concepts: 1.

They usually protect the weak, but even the strong can defend themselves if they are attacked. 2.

You can defend yourself on any territory, while defending on your own land. 3.

The best way defense - counter attack, defense - transformation of material and form of attack into new material and a new form for emotional neutralization of the situation.

Psychological Sambo requires:

a) use of clear speech formulas;

b) correctly selected intonation - for example, calm, cold, thoughtful, cheerful or sad;

c) thoroughness in the answer, which is achieved: ?

pausing before answering; ?

slow response; ?

the response being addressed to a space deeper and more extensive than that which represents the immediate zone of collision.

A pause is perceived by most attackers as a sign of strength, unless, of course, the addressee is silent not because he is “lost the power of speech.” The pause should be accompanied by a thoughtful expression on the face and an attentive (even to some extent) gaze into the face of the interlocutor. A too hasty response means that the recipient is unable to cope with the intervention and is in a hurry to “throw away” the cannonball thrown at him, like trying to throw away a hot potato.

However, throwing hot potatoes means engaging in manipulation or responding with attack to attack. Contrary to the attacker's expectations, the recipient holds the potato for some time, studies, examines, weighs it - and only then returns it to the invader in an unrecognizable form.

Self-defense requires calm and thoughtfulness, perhaps even sadness. Once in a training I used the metaphor of a six-winged Seraphim, majestically washing with his wings an attacking barbarian or an imposing manipulator. 1.

A majestic wave of the wing. 3.

Verbal answer:

And indeed... To fly, you need something besides wings...

Calm, thoughtful and sad intonations of the answer leave space for reflection, and therefore contribute to the transfer of interpersonal intervention into an informational discussion.

Using other intonations, for example, assertive or sarcastic, will mean a retaliatory attack, again throwing potatoes.

When using the English professor's technique, it is sometimes acceptable to use a cheerful intonation (see below). Cold intonation can be used only in cases where the addressee uses the technique of external agreement and at the same time wants to make it clear that he is forced to agree with the manipulator, although he may not be very pleased with it.

Each of the psychological sambo techniques is not only a method of socio-psychological interaction, but also a method of reflection. Using speech formulas corresponding to these techniques, we return ourselves to thinking. The answer to the interventionist using the technique of psychological self-defense means that we remind both ourselves and him: not only hot potatoes fly, but also swallows, snow, comets, airplanes...

Self-defense or self-defense is a response by a state, entity, or individual taken to enforce rights violated by an attack by another state, entity, or individual.

Compared to any historical period, we live in the most civilized society. Many laws are designed to protect and maintain order. Not a day goes by without innocent people suffering from various acts of violence. Seeing the inability of the authorities to cope with crime, people seek to protect themselves and their loved ones. Every person, being a member of society, has every right to defend himself against illegal attacks on life and health.

It is this goal that leads many to practice martial arts. Martial arts teachers have a responsibility to do everything in their power to ensure that people can feel safe and live without fear for their own future. They can do this by teaching self-defense techniques and when and how to use them.

There are many different techniques, equally applicable in different situations. Research your needs and determine offhand which techniques best suit your size, strength, age, and physical abilities.

Beginners are first taught simple and effective actions that they can easily remember and apply in various circumstances.

It is extremely important for beginning athletes to experience the practical effectiveness of the techniques being studied. Arriving home, they will try to test the effectiveness of new techniques on friends and relatives. Therefore, when introducing students to techniques directed against the vital and most vulnerable organs (eyes, throat, groin, nose, legs, knees), be sure to understand that a correctly carried out attack can be extremely dangerous to the health of their loved ones.

Athletes who have progressed to higher stages of training are introduced to performing knuckle grabs and throws. Learning these techniques should be done slowly and gradually; the athlete must first fully learn and follow all safety rules. Before they are entered into training program throws, you will be taught how to fall correctly, otherwise you will not be able to avoid back and neck injuries.

In addition, learn to immediately stop putting pressure on the joint as soon as your partner gives the appropriate signal, thereby sensing the enemy. By exercising under the competent guidance of a qualified instructor, athletes will be able to fully and safely master complex and effective techniques self-defense.

When teaching self-defense techniques as a trainer, it is extremely important to emphasize that none of the techniques learned should be used in practice outside the training room unless there is a compelling reason to do so. At self-defense sections, you will definitely be informed how the laws in the country interpret the use of force for the purpose of self-defense.

Self-defense rules:

Be able to identify potentially dangerous situations;

Avoid dangerous situations. This is the best method of self-defense;

Avoid combat if possible using any means necessary;

If an attacker demands material assets, it is better to give them to him. Do not risk your life for money or other property;

Active self-defense is the last resort to protect yourself. In this case, act decisively, quickly and powerfully, making full use of all knowledge and skills.

Psychology of self-defense:

1) Calm down and relax;

2) Try to come to a humane agreement with the attacker;

3) Try not to anger your opponent;

4) Try to distract the attacker's attention and make him relax and attack when he least expects it;

5) To save lives, do not hesitate to use all possible methods of self-defense.

psychological self-defense,

psychological foundations of self-defense,

psychological self-defense techniques,

psychological self-defense of the individual

First of all, it is important to know what behavior can help you avoid confrontation with intruders. The following table helps answer this question:


- Hasty, nervous smile	- Calm smile, confident facial expression
— Nervous posture	— Calm posture
	- Confident tone
- Hands are in restless motion all the time	- Rare and calm hand movements
— Hunched posture, sluggish posture	- Tight, relaxed and stable posture
- Nervous, shifty gaze	- Calm and direct gaze
- Inconsistency, clumsiness of gait (too sweeping or mincing)	— Light athletic gait, cheerfulness, energetic movements

Well, now about how to learn to behave confidently, thereby reducing the risk of attack by intruders.

Let's look at the typical responses of a confident person to unsolicited attacks and threats. Such answers should be worked on, pronounced with conviction and with appropriate gestures: “Come on, don’t meddle with me,” “That’s why I gave you my bag,” “Stop it now!”, “Get out of my house!”

There is a confidence-training technique called “a broken record,” in which you continually repeat a phrase about what you want or don’t want, in a decisive tone, until the listener either gives in or moves away. To effectively use this method, it is necessary to replace some words while maintaining the general meaning of the statement. For example, “You don’t dare enter my house!” changes to “So I let you in!” or “Why hang around here in vain, I won’t change my mind: you won’t enter the house” - and so on until your statement is accepted. The goal of using the broken record method is to persevere.

Learn to express your anger in front of the aggressor. Many people try to never get angry, preferring a “quiet life by any means necessary.”

Most insecure people accept other people's behavior too easily. Meanwhile, you should not forget that you should also have your own opinion. Remember that you are not obligated to do anything that goes against your wishes. This is your life.

By acting confidently, you make it clear that you are willing to stand up for yourself and should in no way be perceived as a potential victim.

In many cases, it is better for you to take the initiative and go on the offensive yourself, rather than wait for events to develop, which can lead to even more complicated situations. As Robert Browning, the nineteenth-century English poet, said, “When the fight is kindled within you, consider yourself half the battle won.” As a rule, aggressors choose timid people as their victims, whose whole appearance suggests that they are unlikely to be able to resist.

To be a strong, courageous, self-confident person is great, you should strive for this. However, it has been observed that strong people

They rarely enter into conflict, and even less often they use their fists. Therefore, when a threat of violence arises, it is always preferable to avoid conflict rather than use any methods of physical self-defense.

By eliminating these factors, you will greatly reduce the risk of becoming a victim.

If there is a possibility of a peaceful resolution to the conflict, it is worth trying to relieve tension, reach a mutually acceptable solution, or even seize the initiative.

Your success in relieving tension or taking the initiative in a dangerous situation depends on your own actions. You should:

- speak in a firm, calm tone. This will force the aggressor to do the same;

- listen carefully and try to ensure that there is a constant exchange of phrases;

- understand for yourself as quickly as possible what exactly the aggressor needs from you. Reflecting his feelings back will let him know that you are listening and taking him seriously;

— invite him to move to another room if something irritates the aggressor;

- if possible, take a sitting position with the aggressor - this often reduces tension;

— if the situation allows, determine acceptable limits of behavior. For example, say: “We will continue the conversation, but first stop yelling at me and threatening me.”

Do not do it:

- shout or speak in a raised voice, as this will spur the aggressor on;

- leave or turn your back on the aggressor while he is talking to you;

— encroach on the personal space of the aggressor;

— ignore or show inattention or contempt towards the aggressor;

- treat the aggressor in a destructive or patronizing manner;

- without the need to argue with the aggressor or make threats against him. However, you can stand your ground and justify your opinion;

- give him orders like “Shut up!” or “Come on, sit down!”;

- gesticulate - poke, wag your finger, or wave your arms.

The next important security factor is the ability to thwart the plans of attackers. This can be done using unexpected, unconventional actions, causing confusion for attackers.

In the event that the victim resists, be it a word, a physical action, or

both at the same time, the surprise factor turns against the criminal in exactly the same way as it should have worked against the victim in the first place. This is true in all circumstances, regardless of the type of incident: extortionists, handbag snatchers, burglars - they all rely on surprise. Depriving them of this factor is the first step to avoiding the unenviable fate of the victim.

Don't freeze, but use the same important principle - surprise. Let us give a fairly striking example of unexpected actions.

♦ It happened in Italy. A criminal who tried to rob a pensioner lost a finger. An unknown person attacked a quiet old man who seemed absolutely harmless as he was leaving the post office, having received his monthly allowance there. He tried to snatch the pensioner’s wallet, but the old man, without hesitation, bit off the robber’s finger. Mad with pain, the robber ran away, forgetting about his wallet. On the same day, the bandit went to the clinic, not suspecting that the meticulous old man, although he saved his money, decided not to leave the attack without consequences and reported to the police. The carabinieri soon arrived at the hospital ward and showed the criminal his finger. Unfortunately, the victim was forced to give up his own finger to avoid going to jail. However, the police did not take his word for it: a forensic examination was ordered.

If the conflict cannot be “hushed up,” you should use accessible and effective self-defense techniques.

There are various ways to confuse an attacker. For example, if money is dropped on the ground, the aggressor may bend down to pick it up. This will give you the necessary moments to retreat, and if running away for some reason is not possible, it will make the enemy’s face vulnerable to a kick.

- In the same situation, you can point out what is currently outside the aggressor’s field of vision. Pretend that you see a policeman behind him. If the attacker looks back, you will again gain valuable time. Turning your head can throw your opponent off balance, which should be taken advantage of immediately: a push or blow to the face will further upset his balance, and you will accordingly have more time to escape.

- You can pretend that one of your friends is approaching behind the aggressor’s back. By accompanying the gesture with a call for help addressed to imaginary people, you can take advantage of the aggressor’s confusion.

- Another variation of the distraction technique is known as the simulation method, where you convince the attacker that you are about to give in to his demands and give up, say, a purse, wallet or tape recorder, and you take the opportunity to stun him by hitting him in the face, groin or stomach , which will give you the seconds you need to escape. Simulation can take many forms. For example, when robbers demanded all the cash from the postmaster at Broadstairs, he, holding his heart, fell to the floor and shouted for the criminals to call an ambulance. As a result, the frightened robbers fled with nothing. When the attackers fled, the head of the department stood up and called the police station.

— If there is no way to retreat before superior enemy forces, play the role of a person who has powerful support, who is about to be approached by reliable defenders (father, older brother).

For example, upon entering the entrance where a drunken company is located, the boy shouts, turning back (pretending that he is shouting to his lagging father): “Dad, hold Jack! As if he didn’t tear up the guys in the entrance!” - and, taking advantage of the hooligans’ confusion, he quickly passes by.

- If an extreme situation suddenly arises associated with the threat of an attack or the attack itself, look up, taking a full deep breath, and, lowering your eyes to the horizon, smoothly exhale the air, freeing your lungs as much as possible, and at the same time relax all your muscles. You can relax your muscles only when your breathing is regulated. In an extreme situation, if you breathe evenly and calmly, your muscles will also relax, and you will calm down very quickly. A few full inhalations and exhalations - and everything is fine.

- If you are detained and things are heading towards a conflict, try to give a compliment and divert the attention of the attackers to themselves. Conduct yourself with dignity, do not humiliate yourself. For example, a girl who could not expect anything good from drunken guys in a dark alley turned to them with a request: “Guys, I see you are not the timid type! Walk me to that house over there. I live here".

— In a difficult situation, when several people are attacking you, identify a leader among them. Contact him. Try to play on his pride. Thus, one of the strongest sambo wrestlers in Altai, a very strong man, found himself sandwiched on both sides on the roof of an electric train by armed criminals. Sambo techniques did not guarantee safety here. And then he turned to the gang leader: “Commander, I’ll take some of your guys under my wheels! Let's talk better on the ground during the stop. If you need money, vodka, I have something...” And this appeal worked: the guy was left alone.

— In a situation where a criminal demands something from you, try to offer options for fulfilling the demands in order to gain time, change the conditions or location of the confrontation, or change the balance of power in your favor. The most common use of this technique is for women. They invite rapists to their home: there is music, wine, comfort. They declare that they like the man, but the meeting place (park, street, elevator, entrance) is not suitable for them. They bring the gullible villain home (not necessarily to their place), and there...

- If you consider it possible, try to evoke sympathy and pity from the attacker. Say that you are terminally ill, that you are going to get medicine for your seriously ill mother, that your father is under investigation, and that you have to take care of your younger brothers. For example, a teenager tells the robbers: “Guys! Let me go, otherwise my mother may die. I urgently need to buy medicine for her. She has diabetes."

- If necessary, act in such a way that the attackers lose the desire to deal with you. Pretend vomiting, fainting, epileptic seizure, severe runny nose. This technique is especially effective when dealing with sexual predators. A feeling of disgust rarely accompanies sexual desire, no matter how perverted it may be.

— If you were kidnapped in a car, you can tell the attackers that one of your loved ones saw everything and remembered the car number and the appearance of the kidnappers. It is known that by using the number of a car (if it is not stolen) its owner can be found very quickly. In this way, the Barnaul girl Natasha protected herself by telling the unlucky kidnapper that she was accompanied at the bus stop by her brother, who has a professional memory for car numbers: he is a taxi driver. And it worked. Not every criminal would like to deal with taxi drivers.

- Do not allow despondency and apathy to appear. Strive to be, or at least look, cheerful, energetic in your movements, speech, and actions. Strive to find something good, pleasant or funny even in a difficult situation. Attackers prefer not to deal with people who are energetic, cheerful, and endowed with a sense of humor. And humor itself can often help in an extreme situation. In this regard, the case that happened with Yuri Nikulin is typical.

* One day late at night Nikulin was returning from the circus. There was not a soul on the dark streets of the city. Suddenly he was detained by armed robbers. They threatened him with weapons and demanded money from him. Nikulin was not at a loss. He laughed and dumbfounded the robbers: “What are you doing, guys! I just got robbed around that corner! Catch up with those guys, they have all my money!” The unlucky robbers had to be content with communicating with the great artist. But in the darkness they did not see Nikulin and let him go without asking for autographs.

- Watch your appearance. Try not to stand out from the people around you with excessive extravagance, bright and unusual clothes, expensive things and jewelry. All this attracts the attention of not only law-abiding citizens, but also criminals. When choosing clothes, you should avoid dark colors (dark brown, black), as they can increase the aggression of people around you.

— Try to remember the attackers as best as possible: their appearance, clothing, manner of movement, peculiarities of speech. Pay attention to eye color, scars, tattoos, moles, speech impediments. All this will be needed in order to protect yourself in the future.

— Pay attention to how people who are usually lucky behave, who rarely find themselves in dangerous situations and get away with it. How do they achieve this? What can you learn from their experience?

— Strive to notice your mistakes and failures in ensuring personal safety. Learn from other people's sad experiences. Try not to make such mistakes in the future.

When you put on your seat belt in a car, you hardly say to yourself, “I’m going to have an accident today.” Your actions are nothing more than preparation in case something like this happens. You also won’t refuse to wear a seat belt just because you are considered a good driver: after all, how do you know who else will be on the road besides you? The same thing happens in self-defense. You should be in a state of high alert, which should come naturally and not leave an imprint on your entire daily life.

An alert driver, seeing an accident ahead, notes the potential danger and drives around. An inattentive driver may find himself “in the thick of things.” The same applies to self-defense: a vigilant person, having noticed how a group of teenagers is bullying passers-by, will take the necessary actions to avoid an unwanted meeting, while an inattentive person, on the contrary, will step straight towards unnecessary danger.

As you develop the skills necessary to increase your level of alertness, you will find that they have become your second self and are triggered instinctively. Then you will have an excellent opportunity to put them into practice and avoid ending up in places of potential risk and danger. Avoid alcohol, drugs and overwork, as these all lead to a weakened ability to detect danger.

Imagine the following situations: there is no one in the house except you, and the doorbell rings late at night; or you are walking home and it seems to you that someone is following you; or suppose you're returning from a party and a stranger offers you a ride. All these everyday situations require taking into account the possibility of danger.

Using the self-defense techniques outlined above, play out various situations with your parents or peers:

1. Talk to the “stranger” so that he feels your confidence and willingness to stand up for himself.

2. In a confrontation with an “attacker,” refuse to comply with his demands so that he feels your determination and courage.

3. Train your self-confidence using the “broken record” technique (see above in this section).

4. When meeting with an “attacker,” try to behave aggressively, offensively, and proactively.

5. When confronted with a “bully,” try to act unexpectedly, in an original way. Frustrate his plans, puzzle him, create circumstances unforeseen by him.

6. Try to find a peaceful solution to the conflict at the very beginning, when the attacker is trying to find a reason to clash.

7. When meeting with an “aggressor,” try to relieve tension: speak in a confident tone, address your interlocutor with respect, etc.

8. When meeting an “aggressor,” try to confuse him and then take advantage of his confusion.

9. During the “collision”, divert the attention of the “attacker”: call your father, call out to the policeman, etc.

10. In a difficult situation, mislead the “attacker”: feign fainting, illness, deafness, etc.

11. Try to behave in such a way that the “attacker” suspects: “Something is wrong here!” What the hell, his friends will come over!” and so on.

12. Portray a flexible person, ready to fulfill the demands of the “attacker”. Taking advantage of the fact that his caution is dulled (puts the “prey” in his pockets, etc.), act unexpectedly and decisively: “hit” or run away.

13. Practice overcoming excessive anxiety and fear.

14. Try to behave with the “attackers” in such a way as to play on their pride.

15. Talk to the “attacker” in such a way as to gain time, move events to the place you want, and change the balance of power in your favor.

16. Practice speaking to the “attacker” in such a way as to evoke sympathy and pity from him.

17. Try to act in such a way that the “aggressor” no longer wants to deal with you (vomiting, runny nose, etc.).

18. You pass by a car. You are asked to come up and tell us how to get to the market, store, etc. Your actions in this situation.

19. A suspicious person stands at the elevator door and offers to enter together. What will you do in this case?

20. You have been kidnapped and are being taken in a car. Talk to the “attackers” so that they decide not to touch you and let you go in peace.

21. You are walking along a deserted evening street. Suddenly you notice that you are being pursued and are preparing to attack. Your actions in this situation.

22. During the “clash,” portray a person who is weak, lethargic, and incapable of fighting back. Put the “attacker” to sleep, act quickly and decisively (hit, run away).

23. During the game, demonstrate such a level of self-confidence that the “attackers” will doubt whether to continue the attack, whether this will turn into big troubles for them.

24. During game “collisions”, try to determine what your partner is up to: he is simply asking for a light, asking about something, or looking for a reason for a fight, attack, etc. Your interlocutor should sincerely play either an attacker or just a passerby (in he has different items in his pocket accordingly).

25. When confronted with a partner, try to determine in which case cruelty and insidious plans are hidden behind kind words. In another case, you need to discern inner softness and kindness behind the severity and rudeness. The partner playing the role of a kind aggressor or a rude good-natured person must show some acting skills.

26. When working in pairs, try to play decisiveness and even aggressiveness with words, intonation, facial expressions, and gestures. Try to show aggressiveness in the form of refined politeness, for example: “Yes, of course, I’ll give you the jacket, I like you so much.” My older brothers also really “love” such brave guys!”

27. You were attacked. You are being threatened. They demand things, money, etc. Try using humor. Act as if you are laughing, but it is not the “attackers” who are making you laugh, but your financial capabilities, allegedly you have just been robbed, etc.

28. Re-enact a situation where you are attacked by an “armed robber.” Act in such a way as to reduce the risk of him using weapons against you.

29. You have been attacked. You were left without things, etc. Describe the appearance, speech, behavior, clothing, physique, and other signs of the “criminals.” First, practice describing those who are now in front of you. Then give a description of the person, facing away from him.

Literature: 6; 20; 42; 43.

13.6. Moral foundations of self-defense from criminals

Psychological techniques of self-defense - Page 2

Author of one of the books published in last years as a guide to personal safety, repeatedly notes that many people are not ready to respond to violence with violence, cannot use weapons of self-defense, etc. It is easy to see that in this case we are actually talking about a person’s moral readiness to survive in dangerous situations.

1. How do criminals treat the law-abiding people around them? How do they relate to each other?

2. What moral qualities are inherent in many criminals?

3. What moral qualities do criminals usually exhibit towards their victims?

4. What noble qualities of people often manage to take advantage of criminals?

5. What moral qualities increase the risk of being attacked by criminals?

6. What moral qualities help a person protect himself from intruders?

Based on your knowledge of specific events, consider the questions posed above.

* St. Petersburg collectors, bohemia, society - everyone knew Yuri Alekseev very well. He was deservedly considered an authoritative expert in the field of antiques. He determined the authenticity of any work, authorship and value accurately and without much difficulty. In addition, Alekseev was simply a charming, very pleasant person to talk to, with whom it was useful to talk over a cup of tea about life and art. Even the director of the Hermitage, Academician Piotrovsky, received him. But few people knew that Alekseev was a thief in law, how many crimes Alekseev (nickname Gorbaty) organized. He was behind virtually all the thefts and raids on private collectors in Moscow, St. Petersburg and the Baltic states. From all over the country, thieves brought paintings, icons, and unique things to him. Only then did the “lads” begin to notice some oddities. People who brought “slam” to Gorbaty for evaluation then fell into the hands of the police. The things remained with the appraiser. And one more thing: the brigades of criminals who worked near Gorbaty, after several successful cases, failed and were also sent to prison. Interestingly, the failures followed the conversation about dividing up the loot.

* From the confession of a criminal sentenced to death for numerous murders:

“I needed accomplices as witnesses, as spectators. I felt the need for someone to watch me kill. My mood immediately lifted.

“When I carried the body of the murdered woman into the forest, my brother was throwing up inside out. I always despised my brother, but I liked the fact that he felt sick when I killed.

— Soon I met Oleg Malakhov, who had recently been released for armed robbery. Oleg lost his spleen during one of the showdowns with his own kind. Cruel. The trigger did not tremble under his finger. I was going to shoot Oleg, since he was sick and not a tenant. The new assistant had to be healthy.

* The blow landed directly on the head. Semyon gasped and fell as if cut down. When he woke up, he saw above him the grinning face of the same guy who a week ago received what he deserved in the yard. A picture surfaced in my memory: the arrogant guys who pestered Semyon fled shamefully when they saw his friends approaching. “Well, there’s nowhere to wait for help? - the big guy cackled. “Now you’ll get it in full!”

* “Let’s go to the city with me in the car,” Sergei P. suggested to the guys. — Let's go to the shops, buy a couple of boxes of chocolates and liqueur. I received a prize - I’ll treat you.”

Instead of going to the city, the teenagers ended up in the basement, where Uncle Seryozha, whom they knew, showed who he really is: he tortured, raped the guys, forced them to beat each other, and even mocked their corpses.

* Inviting his friend Tamara to his birthday, Timofey N. knew that she was doomed. After all the guys got pretty drunk, Tamara was forcibly taken to the bathroom, where the villains mocked her: they raped her, cut her, burned her with burning cigarettes. Begging Timofey to help, help out, save, Tamara saw the indifferent and indifferent eyes of the man whom she considered her friend, whom she hoped to marry.

* From the testimony of Ivan M., convicted of violence against teenagers: “I had a craving for boys aged 12-14. I tried to choose guys who were prone to vagrancy, committing crimes, smokers, and for whom there was no parental supervision. Firstly, it is easier to get in touch with them. Secondly, their disappearance would not be immediately noticed - well, they are traveling somewhere, hanging out. Thirdly, such guys are less careful, they can be lured into a deserted place. Fourthly, it is less pitiful to kill them than good, well-bred boys. I even gave them a test, offering to help me commit the theft... You see, I was trying to somehow justify my actions on the principle: this is a pity, but it’s unlikely to grow out of it good man- I don’t feel sorry for him...

* Their gazes met. The robber realized that in front of him was a timid, even cowardly man: his hands were shaking, his eyes were running from side to side, his head was pulled into his shoulders. A stuttering voice was heard: “I... I... now.” You can act. The hat was torn off, the pockets were turned out, the things from the wimp’s bag migrated to the bandit’s bag.

* On family council decided not to install a metal door and grille on the loggia. Moreover, there is no point in spending money on an alarm system or on paying for the services of the Okhrana association. Better means invest in the business, there are always not enough of them. Why spend money when there are always retired parents in the apartment?

Two weeks later, fate played a bitter joke on those who were thinking about saving money. Everything valuable was stolen from the apartment: gold, crystal, carpets, money, documents.

* Pasha knew that in the yard no one could compete with him in strength, dexterity and intelligence. He was involved in the boxing section, studied in a gymnasium class, and participated in Olympiads in physics and mathematics. And these weaklings and idiots... There’s nothing to even talk about with them. And at school, Pavlik couldn’t always restrain himself; today he said everything he thought about his friend Kolya to his friend Ivan: “Kolya is a weakling, he doesn’t even play sports!” Soon Kolya found out about this conversation. However, Ivan also stopped talking to Pasha. He will only nod, answer and move away, starting a conversation with other guys.

Yesterday Pasha had an unpleasant incident. Some guys approached him on the street when he was walking to school. There were three of them. They took the money. Boxing techniques did not help. Pasha has sad thoughts in his head: “What to do now? After all, there is no one to even consult with. Even former friends turned away. From whom can we expect help and support?

* The park was plunged into darkness. The only lights were on at the gates, near the commercial kiosks and on the dance floor. Yura stood at the gate and figured it would take at least forty minutes to walk around the park along the illuminated street. Through the park - five minutes walk along dark alley. “What will happen cannot be avoided,” thought Yura and hesitantly walked along the alley. About ten minutes later, Yura ran back to the gate, holding his broken forehead and sobbing in pain. The notoriety of Yubileiny Park has been confirmed. “It’s good that at least he’s alive!” - thought the boy.

* “Help!” - someone shouted in the entrance. Nikolai, without hesitation, opened the door and stepped into the darkness, feeling for the switch button. At that moment, the scoundrels hiding at the door did their dirty deed: the blow with a piece of pipe was precise and strong. They dragged the owner into the apartment and began to collect the goods of the one who showed nobility, wanting to help an unknown person.

* “Do your parents have money?” — a boy from the neighboring yard asked Dima. "Eat. Dad brings several thick packs from the market every evening,” was the answer. A few days later, Dima’s dad was robbed in the dark entrance of his own house. And it doesn’t matter whether the son’s honesty, talkativeness or boastfulness is the reason.

* Kolya hated tears. And these impudent girls who wanted to take his sister’s money cried like little ones.

- Go, I won’t touch you. Don't do that again.

The next day, Nikolai saw from the window how his sister was running home without a hat or bag. Her broken face indicated that things were getting serious. It turned out that the young robbers regarded Kolya’s humanism as a sign of weakness, again waylaid their victim and brought the matter to the end: they beat and robbed the girl.

* The attackers were pressing, they had pieces of reinforcement in their hands, there were three of them. Victor felt that he could not hold out for long: at any moment he could miss the blow. In the twilight of the entrance, my hand suddenly felt the same crowbar that Vitya’s father used to break ice on the street. At the same instant, the image of a janitor from a neighboring house killed by the same crowbar appeared before the guy’s eyes. Victor released the metal from his palm: come what may, I cannot kill these people, although they do not look like people.

* Misha never deceived his parents, teachers, or comrades. In general, he was sure that lying was bad. You should always talk

the truth, what you think. When the guys from high school took off Misha’s leather jacket and took the money, one of them asked: “Are you snitching?” "What?" — the robbed man did not understand. “Well, will you tell your parents who took the clothes?” - they explained to him. “Of course, what do you think!” “Informer! - it sounded like a sentence. - Kill him! The blade of a knife flashed.

* Sasha left the gym, fatigue felt throughout his body. “Who did you come with?” — the short boy asked, either curiously or threateningly. “With no one,” Sasha answered defiantly. “Come on, let’s talk outside!” — the guy suggested impudently. “Go if you want,” Sasha turned to see if the coach was coming from the gym. At that moment, sparks fell from his eyes. The striker immediately disappeared along with his fat partner, who had been unobtrusively looming nearby all this time.

During the next practice, the fat man, sandwiched between four of the victim’s friends in the locker room, “knocked” the one who had the idea to “give a kettle” to a stranger who showed up at their school. Soon the boy had the answer, deftly cutting Alexander’s eyebrow.

So, you have formulated conclusions about what can be expected from an attacker, what moral qualities help a person ensure his safety. Compare your generalizations and assessments with the following guidelines:

- Considering that a criminal usually sees in the people around him only a means of achieving his unseemly goals, it is unlikely that when you encounter a criminal, you will be able to pity him or convince him that you are right. Remember, a criminal is ready to deceive, he is capable of being hypocritical, arrogant, insidious, greedy, arrogant, rude, vindictive, vindictive, cruel and merciless.

- If possible, the criminal will try to take advantage of your noble qualities: responsiveness, kindness, honesty, punctuality, commitment, decency, humanity, generosity. Make sure that no one can take advantage of your noble qualities for selfish or criminal purposes. Be careful and cautious. It is the nobility of people that a criminal often tries to take advantage of.

- If you are convinced that a criminal has encroached on your health, that his actions threaten your life, do not think about choosing means of self-defense. In this case, there are no honest or dishonest blows, mean or noble, open or sneaky. Resolutely hit any of the attacker’s most vulnerable spots, use any objects. Of course, do not forget about the safety of those around you*.

— Moral defects: cowardice, laziness, greed, talkativeness, boastfulness, rudeness, vindictiveness, arrogance, cruelty, rancor, individualism, selfishness, greed, intemperance, stinginess, arrogance, unnecessaryness — reduce a person’s chances of survival and safety. If you notice the manifestation of these qualities in yourself, try to prevent ill-wishers and criminals from taking advantage of these shortcomings. It is even better to act in such a way that moral shortcomings appear less and less often. By doing so, you will increase your chances of defeating the criminals.

Note that many moral qualities increase the ability to successfully counteract the actions of attackers. First of all, it is hard work, courage, modesty, restraint, collectivism. Develop these qualities in yourself. This is very important in order to be able to ensure the safety of yourself and your loved ones.

From the above materials it follows that negative (greed, selfishness, individualism, boastfulness) and positive (responsiveness, humanity, honesty) moral qualities can lead to trouble and often contribute to criminals achieving their vile goals. How to be? Perhaps you shouldn’t develop noble qualities at all: kindness, responsiveness, punctuality? Of course, such conclusions cannot be considered correct. It is important that all these moral qualities are combined with psychological preparation. After all, it is not difficult to notice: misfortune occurs not because of a person’s nobility, but because of his carelessness, inattention, lack of observation, excessive gullibility, arrogance, and short-sightedness. In fact, discretion, decisiveness, caution and even secrecy are very important personal qualities. If they are not formed in a person, expect trouble: mercy, humanism, generosity, selflessness, and other noble moral qualities can be easily used by attackers capable of meanness, deceit, baseness, and treachery.

1. Analyze the behavior of criminals you know (from films, books, newspapers).

What moral qualities are characteristic of them?

2. Give an analysis of your own moral qualities. What are your moral attackers? How can you prevent criminals from taking advantage of your noble qualities?

3. Think self-critically whether you have qualities that reduce your level of security. If you have such moral qualities, determine which of them should be overcome in your character first. Think about what you need to give up to do this. What habits should you form? What specifically is important to do in the near future to achieve this goal?

4. What moral qualities are important for survival that you have not developed sufficiently? If you have such qualities, think about which ones need to be improved first. What specific actions should you take in order for these qualities to improve and become established in your character? Outline specific situations in which you would act this way.

5. Imagine that a person close to you (younger brother, classmate) does not understand that his moral flaws (laziness, boastfulness, rudeness, arrogance, deceit, stinginess, lack of responsibility, greed, selfishness) can lead to trouble. Think about what examples from life you can give to show how attackers take advantage of these qualities in people. Choose cases that your listener would perceive as compelling.

6. Imagine the situation. You see armed criminals attacking a passerby in a dark alley. What will you do in this case? Discuss possible options developments of events with parents and classmates. Are your opinions the same?

Literature: 1; 32; 33.

LITERATURE

1. ABRAMKIN V. F., CHIZHOV Y. V. How to survive in a Soviet prison. To help the prisoner. - Krasnoyarsk: Agency "Vostok", 1992. - 191 p.

2. ALEXEEV A. I., VASILIEV Y. V., SMIRNOV G. G. How to protect yourself from criminals. - M.: Knowledge, 1990. - 64 p.

3. BATES W., CORBETT M. Improving vision without glasses using the Bates method. How to get good vision without glasses. Collection. - Vilnius: Polina, 1995. - 272 p.

4. BELOV V.I. Life without drugs. - St. Petersburg: Respex, 1994. -492 p.

5. BRAGG PAUL. Formula for perfection: Life without drugs. Bragg Patricia. Improving vision using the Bragg system. Shelton Herbert. Basics proper nutrition. - St. Petersburg: Leila, 1995. - 634 p.

6. BESKIND E. Encyclopedia of personal safety. - M.: Aquarium, 1994. - 144 p.

7. YOUR guide to personal safety. The British organization Anthea Trust gives advice to women / Trans. from English - M.: Arguments and Facts, 1993. - 64 p.

8. VERZILIN E. M. In the footsteps of Robinson. Scientific and artistic book. — L.: Det. lit., 1974. - 319 p.

9. VERTE O. The dog attacks. Don't be alarmed. //Danger and safety. - 1995. - June-July. — P. 48-49.

10. VOLKOV V. How to avoid trouble: Advice from a police lieutenant colonel. - M.: Vek-2, 1994. — 32 s.

11. VOLOVICH V. G. Man in extreme conditions natural environment. — 2nd ed., rev. and additional - M.: Mysl, 1983. - 223 p.

12. GATKIN E. Megapolis: Life without risk. Safe existence of a woman. - M.: KIT, MOBI, 1994. - 176 p.

13. GOSTYUSHIN A. V. Man in extreme situations. — 1: Educational. allowance / Artist B. Yu. Shvarev. - M.: Gymnasium Publishing House " Open world", 1995. - 64 p.

14. GOSTYUSHIN A. V. Man in extreme situations. — 2: Textbook. allowance / Artist B. Yu. Shvarev. - M.: Publishing house of the gymnasium "Open World", 1995. - 64 p.

15. GOSTYUSHIN A.V., SHUBINA S.I. ABC of survival. - M.: Knowledge, 1995. - 272 p.

16. GOSTYUSHIN A. Encyclopedia of extreme situations. - M.: Publishing house "Zerkalo", 1994. - 247 p.

17. GUROV A.I. Professional crime: past and present. - M.: Legal. lit., 1990. - 304 p.

18. DIXELIUS M., KONSTANTINOV A. The criminal world of Russia. - St. Petersburg: Bibliopolis, 1995. - 287 p.

19. DYMOV Y. Run? Beat?: A manual on street self-defense.—Kaluga, 1990.—29 p.

20. ZHDANOVA E. What is not in the cosmetic bag // Danger and safety. - 1995. - June-July. — P. 56-57.

21. ZHURAVLEV S. Yu. Private security. - M., 1994. - 270 p.

22. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: a guide to self-regulation and self-improvement / Comp. V. M. Kotelnikov. - M.: SME Publishing House, 1995. - 572 p.

23. IVANCHENKO V. A. How to be healthy. — 2nd ed., revised. and additional - St. Petersburg: JSC "Komplekt", 1994. - 302 p.

24. KALUGIN D. E. How to protect yourself from thieves and rapists: Small home encyclopedia. — Tver, MP “Kn. club", 1991. -46 p.

25. KOZLOV Y. Did you look at the display case? Two fingers in your mouth! //Danger and safety. - 1995. - June-July. - pp. 89-90.

26. LEVI V. L. The art of being different. M.: Knowledge, 1980. - 208 p.

27. LEVI V. L. The art of being yourself. M.: Knowledge, 1973. - 160 p.

28. LITVIN I. I. Three benefits: The basics of proper nutrition. — Ed. reworked and additional - St. Petersburg: JSC "Komplekt", 1994. - 208 p.

29. LUKOYANOV P. I. Winter sports hikes. — M.: Physical education and sports. 1979. - 151 p.

30. MATSYUTSKY S. P. To the tourist about plants. - M.: Prof-izdat, 1988. -168 p.

31. MOLTZ M. I am I, or How to become happy: Per. from English /Preface by V. P. Zinchenko, E. B. Morgunov. - St. Petersburg: Lenizdat, 1992. - 192 p.

32. MOSHKIN V. N. How to protect yourself from a criminal: A book for children, parents and teachers. — 3rd ed., rev. and additional - Barnaul: JSC "Polygraphist", 1995. - 208 p.

33. NECRASS RED. Czech-ass. Essays on prison morals. - Novosibirsk: Publishing house "Sibirskaya Gazeta", 1992. - 208 p.

34. NENASHEV S.I. Your life is in your hands. - Barnaul: Firm "Quartz", 1991. - 15 p.

35. NENASHEV S. I., USTYUGOV V. S. How to ensure the safety of your home and personal belongings. - Barnaul, 1990. - 22 p.

36. NIKEROV V. A. Eco-friendly house: Advice from a physicist. - M.: Energoatomizdat, 1992. - 144 p.

37. FUNDAMENTALS of medical knowledge of students: Sample. textbook for medium textbook institutions /Ed. M. I. Gogoleva. - M.: Education, 1991. - 112 p.

38. OSTROZHNAYA N. N., MAZUROVA O. P. Epiphany (lessons of morality, sexual hygiene and anti-alcohol education).

- Barnaul, 1993. - 86 p.

39. PALKEVICH Y. Survival in the city. Survival at sea. - M.: KARVET, 1992. - 232 p.

40. KNOW yourself and others: Popular tests. — 2nd ed., add. - M.: IVC "Marketing", 1995. - 400 p.

41. POLYANSKY E.I. Safety formula: Detective and edifying narrative. - M.: Legal. lit., 1991. - 96 p.

42. ENTREPRENEURSHIP and security. - T. 1. - M.: Universium, 1991. - 397 p.

43. ENTREPRENEURSHIP and security. - T. 2. - M.: Universium, 1991. - 507 p.

44. REPIN Y. V., SHABUNIN R. A., SEREDA V. A. Fundamentals of human safety in extreme situations. - Almaty: DEMEU, 1994. - 155 p.

45. ROSENFELD A. Symptoms: Are you sick? How serious? Do you need to go to the doctor? /Trans. from English - M.: Center for Universal Human Values, 1993. - 367 p.

46. ROMASHOV F. N., FROLOV V. A. Living without drugs. — 3rd ed., revised. and additional - M.: Sov. Russia, 1983. - 216 p.

47. RYBIN A. L. Road ABC for a cyclist: Book. For students. - M.: Education, 1992. - 63 p.

48. DICTIONARY of thieves' language: Words, expressions, gestures, tattoos. - Tyumen: Nilpo, 1991. - 170 p.

49. SCOTT J. D. Strength of mind. Methods of conflict resolution. - St. Petersburg: Spix, 1994. - 432 p.

50. SNYDER D. Survival course for teenagers. - M.: Horizon, 1995. - 208 p.

51. WAS SICK. S, KRYLOVA I. L. Green pharmacy of Tataria. — Kazan: Tat. book publishing house, 1990. - 156 p.

52. TOPOROV I.K. Fundamentals of life safety. - St. Petersburg, 1992. - 156 p.

53. TSVILYUK G. E. Safety school: a survival guide. - M.: EKSMO, 1995. - 176 p.

54. CHURIN G. S. School of environmental survival. Manual for the course “Fundamentals of Life Safety”. - Ekaterinburg: Family life, 1992. - 49 p.

55. YAGODINSKY V. N. To schoolchildren about the dangers of nicotine and alcohol: Book. for students. — 2nd ed., revised. - M.: Education, 1986. - 96 p.

Categories Post navigation

In our daily life, we often encounter such unpleasant events as conflict or so-called conflict situations.

Not always both opponents behave wisely and reasonably. And very often a conflict situation is accompanied by negative emotional manifestations of the participants in the confrontation. These manifestations “touch us to the quick”; we react painfully to all kinds of insults, even to the point of resentment or hatred.

How can you learn to respond correctly to other people’s attacks and psychologically be able to defend yourself in a conflict? And is this possible, even if you are a very “soft” and “too kind” person who “wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Psychologists say that protecting yourself in a conflict is quite possible and not at all difficult. The main thing is to have patience, make an effort, and after a while, you will notice that you have learned to react less painfully to insults and attacks.

Psychological self-defense: methods and mechanisms

Reasonable self-analysis as one of the mechanisms of psychological self-defense in conflict

After the insult inflicted on you in conflict situation do you return to those events more and more often? Do you go through all sorts of scenarios and come up with new reactions to insults?

It's quite normal. As long as it bothers you. Sometimes a person does not calm down for a long time, relives the situation in his thoughts again and again, repeats what he said again, and looks for other options for his own reaction.

Even realizing that he should forget about an insignificant episode, he stubbornly returns to what happened: “Oh, if it were all over again, I would behave differently! I would say... I would do... I would be calm as a rock and dignified as a gentleman.”

Psychological self-defense in a conflict may consist of: allow yourself to be the director of those events: replay in your mind your responses to insults, your behavior in this situation, your actions. Gradually the pain will go away, the resentment will dissolve and you will feel much better.

Be natural! Naturalness is the next mechanism of psychological self-defense in conflict.

Here psychologists advise remaining as you are, in any situation and not only in conflict. Often we behave too well-mannered and this does not allow us to stand up for ourselves and throw out negative emotions. Thus, we endure all the insults that flow from the lips of your opponent, from which we suffer afterwards.

Don't hide your shortcomings and don't strive to be perfect. Naturalness, sincerity and the desire to stand up for oneself are the basis of behavior in a conflict situation and psychological self-defense in a conflict.

Learn! Life is never smooth. To psychologically prepare yourself for insults, grievances, and possible conflicts in the future, spend a little time understanding why you suffer so much from the words of others. What contributes to your reaction?

Psychological self-defense in conflict also includes understanding the whole situation, the origins and characteristics of your behavior, understanding the motives of your opponent’s behavior. This way you will be able to build the right strategy for further behavior in this conflict and competently resolve it, perhaps even to your advantage

Other mechanisms of psychological self-defense in conflict:

Learn from your own mistakes. And do not be afraid that you are not yet able to stand firmly in the face of insults or insults. Increase your self-confidence, learn in any situation

Lecture 13

Lecture outline:

13.3 Constructive criticism

Civilized confrontation attack and manipulation

The concept of civilized confrontation

Resistance to influence is reciprocal influence, that is, in essence, a type of influence. Civilized resistance to influence 1) corresponds to the rules of etiquette and 2) corresponds to ethical standards, accepted by the opposing subject himself.

A barbaric attack, apparently, must be resisted by a psychologically civilized person Always. Otherwise, he risks his personal integrity. As for manipulation, the reaction to it can also be conscious surrender.

General rules of civilized confrontation

1. Confrontation begins with minimal means.

2. The confrontation ends:

a) or when the manipulator switched to civilized interaction;

b) or when the opposing recipient of influence decided to capitulate.

3. The transition to more powerful means of opposition occurs only if the manipulator does not respond to less powerful means.

In this case, the phase of psychological sambo can be skipped. It is needed only in cases where the addressee is overwhelmed by feelings and is not able to move from emotional monitoring directly to an informational dialogue.

Algorithm of civilized confrontation

Emotion monitoring

Monitoring is a continuous observation of a phenomenon in its full dynamics; scanning, tracking. Monitoring is necessary to identify early signs beginning manipulation. Some changes in the emotional state of the addressee are reliable signs that the manipulator has begun his “work” with his emotional strings.

These signs include:

□ imbalance- inconsistency, ambivalence of emotions, for example, a combination of pride and resentment, joy and distrust, tenderness and anxiety, or, as one of the training participants put it, “when it’s funny and unpleasant at the same time,” etc.;

□ “strangeness” of emotions, for example, an outburst of rage during a discussion of unimportant details of a plan of action; unaccountable fear in the process of peaceful discussion of the volume of future supplies, etc.;

□ repetition of emotions, for example, the systematic occurrence of the same emotions when meeting a certain person, feelings of guilt, professional incompetence, humiliation, protest, etc.;

□ a sharp outburst of emotions, which does not seem justified by the objective characteristics of the situation.

2. Psychological self-defense(psychological sambo 1 )

We talk about self-defense rather than self-defense because at least three major differences can be distinguished between these concepts:

1 - in some literary sources the term psychological aikido is used

1. Protect usually weak and defend maybe strong if he was attacked.

2. You can defend yourself on any territory, while defending themselves on their own soil.

3. The best way of defense is a counter attack, defense is transformation of material and form of attack into new material and a new form to emotionally neutralize the situation.

Psychological Sambo requires:

a) use of clear speech formulas;

b) correctly selected intonation - for example, calm, cold, thoughtful, cheerful or sad;

c) thoroughness in the answer, which is achieved:

□ pausing before answering;

□ slow response;

□ by addressing the response to a space deeper and more extensive than that which represents the immediate collision zone.

Calm, thoughtful and sad intonations of the answer leave space for reflection, and therefore contribute to the transfer of interpersonal intervention into an informational discussion.

Using other intonations, for example, assertive or sarcastic, will mean a retaliatory attack, again throwing potatoes.

In case of using technology English professor Sometimes it is acceptable to use a cheerful intonation (see below). Cold intonation can only be used in cases where the addressee uses the technique of external agreement and at the same time wants to make it clear that he forced agree with the manipulator, although he may not be very pleased with it.

Information dialogue

Information dialogue- clarifying the partner’s position and one’s own position through the exchange of questions and answers, messages and proposals.

Information dialogue is the exchange of questions and answers, messages and proposals in a dispassionate and impartial mode of computer information retrieval.

Emotional implications are ignored. In each partner’s appeal, the essence that is relevant to the matter under discussion is sought, everything else is omitted.

An informational dialogue is a conversation about the substance of the matter, or at least an attempt at such a conversation.

If the partner goes to discuss the issue on the merits, gradually abandoning the manipulation, the confrontation can be considered successfully completed: the manipulation has been transformed into an informational discussion.

Comments on Example 1: the addressee’s response to the manipulator’s statement

If the manipulator makes a statement or makes a proposal, he may be immediately asked an information question. Questions that clarify the essence of the matter are asked in cases where the manipulator talks about the essence of the matter, albeit with the use of pinches; questions that clarify the goals of the manipulator are asked in cases where the manipulator concentrates more on pinching, moving far away from the essence of the matter. In all cases where it is possible to remain within the framework of a discussion of a business problem, it is recommended to ask questions that clarify the essence of the matter.

EXAMPLE 2 _______________________________________Reaction to question

Comments on Example 2: the addressee’s response to the manipulator’s question

If the manipulator asks a question and the addressee considers it possible and correct to give an informational answer, he does so. If the addressee does not consider it possible to give an open answer because it involves the disclosure of confidential information, corporate or personal secrets, etc., then the response to the question may be a proposal on the merits of the matter or the choice of topic. If the addressee believes that an informational response is inappropriate because it will not bring the interlocutors closer to resolving the business issue being discussed, a more effective strategy would also be to formulate an offer to return to the topic, expand on the issue, provide an explanation, etc.

In this case, the proposal can be formulated in the form of a polite request (“Please…”) or a request-question, for example: “Could we return to your first proposal for a few minutes and discuss it in more detail?”

There are some common mistakes when using psychological self-defense and informational dialogue techniques.

1. Self-justification. Any form of self-justification is a sign of a “string that has sounded”, and therefore, that the addressee has been drawn into manipulation.

2. Counter attack- this is barbarism (“Look at yourself. It’s not me, but you don’t understand anything,” etc.)

3. Asking about other people's opinions“third parties” (“Yes, and what are they saying about this? How did he react?”, etc.)

4. Question about the source of information(“How did you know this? Who said this?”, etc.). This is a counter manipulation. If the attacker himself does not cite sources, then he has reasons to hide them, and by asking a question about sources, we deliberately touch this chord. As Dotsenko wrote, “many of us remember from childhood cases when we naively told our parents everything they asked about, and then heard from older guys: “Six.” Since then, a controller has been working for us: will my information harm anyone? Therefore, we are wary when they ask us: who said it?” (Dotsenko, 1996. P. 244). We are afraid to “give it away.” The string “Don’t give it away” lives in us.

5. Question about the “instigators”(“Who started doing this first? Where did this reaction come from?”, etc.) The reasons are the same. This is a counter manipulation.

6. False and insincere statements, because it's manipulation.

7. Rough wording of questions and answers(“What do you care? Go to hell!”, etc.). Rough form is barbarism. You can’t “drive” people into civilization with a crowbar.

8. Statements about psychological rights and responsibilities(“I have the right not to tell you this! I don’t have to report to you,” etc.). A conversation about rights inevitably leads away from a discussion of the essence of the matter and the goals of the manipulator and slides into a discussion of relationships.

9. Question about attitude(the attacker to the addressee, others, to himself or others to the addressee) (“You don’t trust me? Do you think I’m not strong enough? Do they judge me? Are you jealous?”, etc.). Such questions may be counter-manipulation (such as a show of weakness), self-justification, or counter-attack. If the manipulator himself provokes a discussion of the addressee’s relationship with someone, it is often important for him to then be able to refer to the very fact of the conversation.

Constructive criticism

Constructive criticism is a fact-based discussion of the goals, means or actions of the initiator of influence and the justification of their inconsistency with the goals, conditions and requirements of the addressee.

General characteristics:

□ Factuality: opportunities, facts, events, and their consequences are assessed, not individuals.

□ Correctness: Only parliamentary expressions are permitted.

□ Impassivity: analysis and assessment are carried out “without emotions”, detachment, without any personal involvement, raising the voice, etc.

Citing a Past Case

- We had a similar case a month ago. Unfortunately, it turned out that such orders require the involvement of additional workers.

- Thank you, we have already encountered foreign specialists. They are not always realistic. It takes time for them to adapt

to Russian reality. We have decided to make do with domestic personnel for now.

A message that the offer cannot be accepted... for three reasons. Three reasons are good. Besides, they are always there. The partner may try to use the argument-splitting method against them. When a person says “for three reasons,” he himself structures his attitude to the proposal. This is a very valuable mental exercise and a real test of the proposal's effectiveness.

- I cannot accept the three reasons method for three reasons. First of all, he is manipulative. At the moment when I say “for three reasons,” I may not yet know the reasons. Secondly, three reasons may not come to my mind, but, for example, only two or even only one. Third, it's too long.

- I do not agree to take Ivanov to this position now. He hasn't completed his probation yet. This time. He made several mistakes. That's two. And he is the husband of one of the employees, and I am against nepotism. That's three.

Constructive criticism is, in essence, counter-argumentation, which can be done in the technique of reframing, dividing the arguments of a partner, or developing one’s own arguments. Expressing doubts about the appropriateness and citing a past case are methods of developing one's own arguments.

Civilized confrontation

Confrontation is the most powerful means of resisting attack and manipulation. Claude Steiner viewed confrontation as opposing one's own power maneuver to a partner's power play in order to force him to reckon with us and stop ignoring us (Steiner S. M., 1974). This method is justified in cases where the initiator of influence uses such unconstructive methods of influence as manipulation, destructive criticism, ignoring or coercion.

Despite the fact that confrontation is opposition, it can be, in the words of A. Beck, “convenient.” It means that “we care.” “By entering into confrontation, we offer the other person and ourselves the opportunity to change and improve our relationship, while at the same time respecting our own need to express discomfort” (Beck A. S. 1988, p. 14).

According to A. Beck, in order to decide whether to enter into confrontation, you must first answer yourself several questions.

Making a decision to enter into confrontation according to A. Beck:

2. Determine whether your actions or inactions have the desired effect.

3. Examine what you want from a person or situation and what is stopping you from achieving it.

5. The answers to these questions may lead you to confront the other person, accept his or her behavior, or end the relationship.

Week A., 1988

If you decide to enter into confrontation, you must be consistent and ready to go to the end. Confrontation can only be effective if each of its necessary phases is implemented.

The confrontation algorithm was compiled based on the descriptions of Claude Steiner (Steiner S. M., 1974).

The first phase of confrontation. I-message (I-statement) about the feelings that this behavior of the initiator of influence causes

Let’s say that the manipulator (a man) deliberately violated the psychological distance between himself and the recipient of his influence (a girl) so that she would experience a feeling of discomfort and would rather agree to fulfill his request. He moves his chair close to hers and, putting his arm around her shoulders, says: “Please give me this manual, I just need it today.” The recipient girl answers him with an I-message: “When they sit so close to me, I feel anxiety and discomfort.” If the manipulator accepts the addressee’s I-message, he apologizes and

Confrontation algorithm

sits down, the goal is achieved and the confrontation is over. Only if he does not do this or, having done so, then again repeats attempts to limit the psychological space of the addressee, is it necessary to move on to the second phase.

Second phase of confrontation. Strengthening the I-message. IN in this example The recipient girl did it like this: “When I say that I have anxiety and discomfort, and they don’t react to this in any way, then I begin to experience melancholy and grief. Offense, finally. I feel bad, you know?” If the initiator of the influence accepts this I-message and stops his attempts to limit the psychological space, the confrontation can be considered successfully completed. Only if he does not do this does the addressee need to move on to the next phase.

The third phase of confrontation. Expressing a wish or request For example: “I ask you to sit at approximately this distance from me, not closer. And I also ask you not to slap my hand or touch me at all.”

If we combine the first to third phases together, then the algorithm for formulating the I-message (I-statement) is as follows:

1. Situation (non-judgmental statement of a fact, situation): “When they sit so close to me...”, “When you speak in a raised voice...” ...

2. Your reaction at the level of feelings (you have the right to experience any feelings): “...I feel anxiety and discomfort.” (Alternatively, this could also be a message about your reaction at the level of impulses or thoughts: “... I have a desire (thought) to leave the room... interrupt communication... push you away...").

3. Your preferred outcome (what you would like): “I ask you to sit approximately this distance from me, not closer. And I also ask you not to slap my hand or touch me at all.”

At the same time, you have not yet said a word about your interlocutor, therefore, he has much less chance of feeling hurt and offended, as if you had appreciated him.

If the request is not fulfilled, it is necessary to move to the fourth phase.

The fourth phase of confrontation. Assigning sanctions Example: “If you pat me on the hand again or sit closer than I am comfortable with, I will, firstly, leave immediately, and secondly, I will move away every time as soon as you approach me. I’ll stop communicating with you, that’s all.” We see that a sanction is a threat, and a threat is an attribute of coercion. If the confrontation has reached this phase, we need to admit to ourselves that we are forcing the manipulator to make a choice: either submit to our demands or refuse the opportunity to interact with us. The manipulator can resist coercion in the form of counter-confrontation. We can go to negotiations and discuss his demands. Only if he continues his actions or we were unable to reach an agreement should we move on to the fifth phase.

Fifth phase of confrontation. Implementation of sanctions.

The recipient of the impact must refuse any interaction with the initiator. Break off relations with him if there is no other choice.

We see that confrontation is a method that requires the determination to go to the end in asserting one’s psychological freedom, one’s right to resist other people’s influence.

Energy mobilization

Energy mobilization implies the activation of one’s own energy resources in situations where the unwanted encroachments of someone else’s will threaten to absorb and subjugate us. Energy mobilization can be used to resist suggestion, infection, and attempts to create favor.

Let us give an example of two methods - general and situationally determined.

1. General method of energy mobilization- is a search for factors that nourish, restore and enhance individual energy, and the targeted use of these factors. For example, for some people, energy is restored and enhanced by the simple influence of a hot shower or sauna, certain types of food, sleep patterns, reading certain books, watching certain movies, meeting certain people, etc.

2. Situationally determined method of energy mobilization is the transformation of any negative or contradictory or ambivalent emotion into the emotion of anger. In the simplest classification of human emotions, three emotions are negative (anger, fear and depression) and one is positive (joy). Energy mobilization is caused by two of them: joy and anger. Fear and depression are difficult to transform into joy, but can be successfully transformed into anger. The rule is this: if you don’t know how to react to a situation where you are being influenced undesirably, react with the emotion of anger. Try to be angry with this person.

Creation

Creativity involves performing unpredictable, original actions and actions. Creativity can be used to resist attempts to awaken the impulse to imitate.

The paradox is that true creativity is born not as a result of a decision not to imitate, but under the influence of an internal craving for self-expression. True creativity has internal, not external causes.

Imitation is often the most economical way to learn a new skill or ability. From childhood, our entire education system accustoms a person to strive to achieve high standards, and not the heights of self-expression.

Evasion

Avoidance is considered a legitimate way to avoid unwanted experiences and behaviors in behavior therapy.

R. Suinn described the sequence of his work within the framework of behavioral therapy. First, he and the client determine the conditions under which stress occurs. The client is then asked to use three methods to reduce and control stress: 1) take a “time out” and engage in relaxation; 2) generally prevent the occurrence of stimuli that cause stress - solve the problem before it becomes a problem; 3) reduce the amount of time spent in a stressful situation, that is, divide the time into short periods. Thus, the client is asked to avoid visiting certain places, meeting certain people, and generally getting into situations that cause him unwanted feelings and reactions (Suinn R. M., 1977, p. 55). It can be called strategic evasion.

If a meeting is inevitable or is already taking place, it is possible to use tactical evasion - time-outs and reducing the time of interaction with another person.

To these methods we can add the transformation of direct interaction into indirect interaction (through correspondence).

Evasion Techniques:

Time-out

· distraction of attention to everyday details(Oh, my chair broke; something got in my eye; it’s time for me to take my medicine, etc.);

· physical exit from the interaction space under a plausible pretext (Excuse me, I urgently need to get these papers from the office manager; I need to verify this data, let me take a break for three minutes; Excuse me, I must leave you for one minute, etc.);

· I philosophical way out of the situation- rhetorical questions or general statements like “What is truth?” or “We are all subjective...”;

· I attempts to laugh it off and divert attention with a joke to something else (“Oh, they’re already scolding! They’ll beat you soon!” - see “Days of the Turbins” by M. Bulgakov).

Lecture 13

Manipulation, protection from manipulation. Psychological self-defense

Lecture outline:

13.1 Civilized and barbarian influence. The concept of manipulation.

13.2 Civilized resistance to attack and manipulation

13.3 Constructive criticism

13.4 Civilized confrontation

13.5 Additional ways to counter influence