In this part, we will continue to consider the question of how to understand that a man needs you, based on the stage of male courtship.
Before answering this question, we need to consider the stages of male courtship. People periodically write to me objections that it seems like there are no stages. It seems like all this is nonsense and they give examples. Let's say that some girl you know, after an hour of dating, has already gone to bed with her boyfriend. And nothing. They got married later and seem to be living well. 
Such examples, of course, exist, and I do not at all intend to deny their existence. Just the point. If the task is simple, then you can make a hundred rather serious mistakes and still achieve a positive result.
For example, you decide to cook noodle soup. The recipe says that you need to first throw the meat into water and cook it, and only then the noodles. (In other words, the stages of the soup preparation process are described).
But some woman decided that there are no stages (or simply does not know about them). Therefore, she first throws noodles into the water, and after some time raw meat. It is clear that the result is soggy noodles with undercooked meat, and not at all tasty soup with noodles.
But now she gives such soup to men who had been hungry for three days before, and besides that, they had not eaten anything tastier than raw wheat grains. And these men are delighted. They are ready to almost carry such a woman in their arms for such a “delicious” dish.
Based on this example, we can conclude that there are no stages (recipes and techniques for treating men) or that they are not needed. But this, of course, is not true. As soon as the task becomes even a little more complicated, i.e. You are not the only woman among men who have not seen a woman for several years, then you can’t get by with just undercooked meat and soggy noodles. You need to really be able to do something, or at least not make too many mistakes when dealing with men.
A description of the stages of courtship and their order will give you the answer to the question of how to understand that a man needs you. The description of these stages is, to some extent, a recipe for dealing with men. Of course, each stage has its own subtleties, like if we go back to the recipe analogy, subtleties when choosing meat, choosing noodles, etc. But you can read about how to choose a man, how to understand whether he is a Don Juan or actually in love with you in the book “How to make a man fall in love with you for life? or Never run after a man, let Him run after you!”.
Okay, let's get back to the stages of a man's courtship, which will help you understand whether a man needs you, whether he likes you, or whether he just decided to have fun.
Last time we finished at the pigtail pulling stage. Let's move on to the next stage.
Reducing twitching intensity for the pigtails.
All good things come to an end sooner or later (at least in the form in which they were) and at some point a man begins to reduce the intensity of “pulling his pigtails.”
I don’t even know what to write here. Well, less often a man stops pulling his pigtails and that’s it.
A man provides assistance.
Of course, it is desirable for the man to help the woman little by little in the previous stages of the courtship process. However, at this stage it is desirable for the man to perform a “feat” for your sake. If he does heroic things for you, then he really needs you.
There is, of course, no need to understand by feat something like “threw himself into an embrasure and died.” This, most likely, greatly helped (in his understanding more than in yours) the woman from some not very simple situation.
To rephrase it a little, a man falls in love with a woman whom he “saved” from someone. It doesn’t matter whether it’s real villains, some kind of intellectual challenge, or something else.
I once “saved” mine future wife from “evil” landlords who wanted to kick her out of her apartment and onto the street. Other men save from mice, neighbors, financial problems, lack of connections, etc.
If at this stage a man did not “rescue” you with his help, then it is unlikely that he will be able to fall deeply in love with you.
There is no need for a man to provide help too early, at least not serious help. But sooner or later, in a difficult situation, you need to look at a man with a helpless look, you can cry a little and say something like “That’s it, I’m dying, and no one can help me.” If a man starts to “save” you, it means he really needs you.
Telling a man “help, or you’re not a man” is usually too much. (Although I repeat – these are subtleties, the main thing is to follow the recipe). But the average man often leaves silently after your hidden plea for help, and then thinks and does something.
Well, if I discuss subtleties, I will inevitably leave the main thing. And the main thing is this.
A man falls in love with a woman when he gives her serious help.
This is a general law. This is an axiom of life. If you ignore this law, then women who are noticeably inferior to you in appearance, intelligence, ability to communicate, etc. they will easily bypass you in the fight for good men. Read about the psychology of men in love in the book "Psychology of men in love".
Of course, it is very, very desirable that the question of help does not arise immediately, but just after passing through the initial stages. If at the very beginning of dating we are talking about serious help, then a man may ignore such a request or even leave a woman who is too problematic. And this does not mean that he did not need her. She simply began to “load” the man with problems too early.
You can also derive the opposite rule (no longer a law, but simply a sign). If a man provides you with serious help, clearly beyond the scope of professional or ordinary help (not related to family, etc.), then it may very well be that he is in love with you and so you can understand that he needs you.
This rule is no longer 100% accurate, but it works quite often.
Touching, bed.
The next stage is when a man begins to open his arms, kiss a woman or invite her to have sex with him.
What can you say about this stage?
Firstly, as I already said, it is undesirable to go through it before completing the previous stages. (If, of course, the goal is a long-term relationship) I repeat that it all depends on the complexity of the task. If the task is simple, in the sense that some men are not very difficult to bring down the aisle and marry them, then serious mistakes can easily pass. If the task is not very simple, then violating the man’s cooking recipe is a gross mistake.
Second, the speed at which the stages progress may vary significantly between individuals and under different circumstances. Sometimes everything happens quite quickly, but this does not mean that there are no stages of courtship. 
The speed of passing the stages depends on:
- the age of the man and woman (usually the older, the faster);
— their characters (introverts are usually slower);
- intensity of communication (here it is clear that the more intensively they communicate, the faster it is possible);
— maybe a dozen other factors.
In other words, completely normal sex may take a couple of weeks, and sometimes even six months is not enough for the relationship to mature. See for yourself what stage of the relationship you are in. If it's time, then it's time. If it's early, it's early.
This is probably a little off topic, but I'll touch on it a little. Some women have the belief that sex can keep a man. This is true to some extent. A young man, especially one who does not know how to care for women and is not very valuable on the bride market (i.e. not very handsome, rich, etc.) can be kept for some time. But even in this case, this is a rather weak method.
If a man is not very young, knows how to care for women, and is valued on the market for brides and grooms, then this is not a way at all. And about how to keep a man, read the article on our website “Sunny Hands” “How to keep a man. Or the initiative is punishable."
Honeymoon.
I will loosely call the next stage the “honeymoon”. Why conditional? Because for us, the honeymoon is the next stage after passing through the stage of sex, and not at all in its original meaning, when it came to the month following the wedding.
This is the month when a man is in some kind of euphoria. Everything is fine. He likes the woman. He likes sex (read about what men prefer in sex and other secrets in the book "The most intimate men's secrets and secrets"). Under the feeling of this euphoria, he usually does not even notice any shortcomings (in his opinion, of course, shortcomings) in his chosen one.
Obviously, such euphoria will not last forever. For some men it lasts only a week, for others a year, but sooner or later it ends. (The period again depends on the compatibility of characters, density of communication, life circumstances).
Growing mutual discontent.
The next stage of a man’s falling in love will be the increase in mutual dissatisfaction between the man and the woman. The euphoria from relationships subsides, but the ability to live together is not yet there. But the appearance of such dissatisfaction does not mean that he does not need you.
This is where conflicts come to the fore, arising 80% from women’s misunderstanding of the psychology of men, and men’s misunderstanding of the psychology of women. (The rest of the conflicts are due to the dissimilarity of characters, values, etc.). To understand the psychology of men, read articles on our website “Sunny Hands” in the “Psychology of Men” section
Many women do not know how to go through this stage of falling in love with a man and therefore cannot bring him to the altar. What advice can I give here? I repeat once again that a period of dissatisfaction with your chosen one does not mean that he does not need you.
Firstly, be prepared for the fact that a man’s love will definitely manifest itself in the form of dissatisfaction with your actions. This can manifest itself openly in the form of scandals and quarrels, or hidden in the form of irritation, withdrawal from communication, distancing, etc.
This stage is completely natural and there is no escape from it. In fairy tales they usually don’t get to it, but that doesn’t make it go away.
Secondly, try to study the basics of male psychology by then. 
The two most common mistakes are violating a man’s inner space and trying too harshly to instill in him the correct habits of behavior in the home. These mistakes will definitely lead to sharp conflicts, even breaking off relationships.
An example of the first mistake is an attempt to call at work, demand communication only after a breakup, just a small amount of space (which a man needs an order of magnitude more). I wrote about this in detail in books.
The second mistake is the requirement to change a man’s habits around the house, which may include asking him to wash dishes in a special way (for example, to wipe them, to arrange dishes in a certain way, etc.), to arrange clothes, shoes, etc. in a special way. cut fruit in a special way, wash yourself, quit smoking, etc.
All of this, of course, can be redone (or almost all of it), but not in a few months. I will not talk about this in detail, since this would not be enough for a whole article.
There are quite a lot of women who cannot get past this stage and therefore remain single.
They are disappointed in a man and think that it will be different with another. But after some time the other man also begins to express dissatisfaction or runs away. Then one may become disappointed in men in principle and say that: “All men...” This is wrong. Men are simple and learning to treat us is no more difficult than learning to drive a car.
Why am I telling you all these stages? Why all this information, which at first glance is difficult to apply in practice?
Without a diagnosis, treatment is impossible. Without understanding where you are “stuck” in a relationship with a man, it may be unclear what to do next. It happens that a woman is chronically stuck in some phase. From a chronic lack of understanding that there has been a man in love nearby for several years who needs you like air, to a chronic inability to go through the phase of discontent. If you understand where you are stuck, it can be much easier to move forward. 
And of course, the most important thing is to understand the stages of a man’s love - try not to jump over stages, but smoothly go through them one after another.
Trying to jump stages almost always ends in failure, no matter how much your partner needs you. If you are already doing well with men, then you don’t have to worry too much about these stages. However, if there is failure after failure, then try to analyze where it is not working. Often this alone can help solve the problem right away.
Best regards, Rashid Kirranov.
Men really don't like obsessive girls. What women call “he got laid and left”, men interpret it as “a light affair that does not lead to a serious relationship.”
And if a girl also gives herself some illusions after a short-term romance, then she becomes simply unbearable for the guy.
To understand that a man didn’t need you, you need to carefully analyze everything you’ve lived with him: dates, feelings, words spoken, etc. Ready for analysis?
What a pity for those women, desperate loners, who do not know about true love nothing at all. Where does it come from, how does a man in love experience it, how sensually the dates go.
For such a woman, love is any manifestation of attention:
The guy gives compliments. They are taken at face value, and not just as a mood booster for a woman. If for other girls it will be easy beautiful words, then for a desperate loner - a love confession.
The guy knows how to make friends. And with everyone. He will find words of support for a friend, agree with a colleague that the boss is a goat, and feel sorry for the abandoned woman. And if he says a couple of warm phrases to such a loner tete-a-tete, she will not only perk up, but will consider that they are already “raking up the oars” to her
The guy hugged or kissed on the cheek. Still the same gesture of friendship. The French generally kiss at every meeting, regardless of the gender of the person being greeted. But for a single person this is already serious.
Yes, it reminds me kindergarten. But there really are a lot of naive girls. She herself is in love and has invented a non-existent romance for herself. She will be jealous of any compliments and words of support not addressed to her.
She will torment you with calls, messages and demands, and will loom before your eyes. And will ultimately ruin your friendship with good guy, because it bothers him with his illusions. But he didn’t need her in the first place!
This is another one of those female illusions where girls believe that sex is an important step towards a serious relationship. In principle, sex on the first or second date is no longer considered something shameful, but this does not give girls the right to think that “now he should marry me.”
But to those extravagant young ladies who think so, I want to say: “Did he promise to marry you? Well, you never know what he promised you!” In a moment of pleasure, you can say a lot. You don’t have to be so naive as to believe every word at such moments.
Perhaps there could be a continuation if the girl used her feminine charms, according to the principle “stay there - come here!”, so that the man would lose his head from falling in love. But more often it happens that he just “snapped him and threw him away” if the lady begins to get impudent.
If you fall for the bait of such a guy, relax, this is not the hero of your novel, and he doesn’t love you. If after stormy nights the relationship no longer sticks, then glue will not help, take nails and hammer on this romance. By the way, in this case, it’s your own fault for “giving it to him” so quickly.
One can only feel sorry for the man whom the woman is hunting. This is not just a sexual maniac - the lady’s plans can be too insidious and sophisticated and are not even close to rosy illusions.
If she can’t charm him so easily, she will do anything:
Make a deal with the devil. Or rather, he will turn to all the warlock grandmothers in order to dry up the man and “rot” his beloved girl.
He will do all kinds of setups. And she doesn’t care even if he is married to another woman. Some types of such setups are described in the article.
There will be a lot of it everywhere. She will appear at his work, at home, on the man’s phone and on the Internet.
There are also many such sick women. But they don’t realize that all these eccentricities only repel the man even more. And he still won’t need her, even if she goes around all the warlocks in the world - it won’t work. By the way, this is also a judicial matter.
This is not just a girl for a couple of nights, this is a long and boring relationship with a man who has been married for a long time. And it’s not that a mistress is not needed at all, but it’s just convenient with her: relax and have sex.
But if he puts his mistress and wife on the scale, he will choose his wife without hesitation. And you can understand how little he values his mistress by his behavior:
He's not going to get a divorce. To do this, he finds all sorts of excuses: his wife is sick, his children are still small, he runs a business, and so on.
He does not introduce her to his circle of friends. And in general, he carefully hides everything that concerns his personal life.
He is not generous with gifts. It seems that he is not a miser or a poor person, but he limits himself to a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates before the holidays.
Weekends and holidays are not for a mistress. Only family can have fun with him. And the mistress is sad alone at the window.
He's always afraid of something on dates. Shorokhov, phone calls, random acquaintances on the street. By the way, he is reluctant to go out into the street or into crowded places with his mistress.
Communication is kept to a minimum. And only when he wants it. He strictly forbids his mistress to call herself, no matter what happens.
He will easily betray his mistress if it saves his personal life and career. And he won't blink an eye.
The man suddenly became a stranger after a whirlwind romance. Quarrels became so frequent that the lover suddenly began to hide, did not answer phone calls, crossed him off from his list of friends on social networks, and then even angrily sent him three letters.
He does not hide the fact that he has fallen out of love. And he openly says: “I don’t need you anymore, leave me alone!” Is it possible to “cool down” from a hot relationship so quickly? Yes, and the reasons for this are:
You got him. With his bad character and stupid behavior. He warned you about this more than once, but you ignored it. That's why he became indifferent to you.
He found a replacement for you. Fell in love with someone else who seems better to him than you. And he no longer has any feelings for you.
He took advantage of you. Like a gigolo. You had connections, money, opportunities. The resource has been exhausted, and he has cut you out of his life.
It is incredibly difficult or impossible to return everything back - no chains will force a man to stay close. Well, that's life, you have to find someone who will love you no matter what.
You started from the wrong place
Finally - an unusual technique
Let's do a thought experiment.
Imagine that you have the superpower to “read” men. Like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man - and you immediately know everything about him and understand what’s on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any problems in your relationship at all.
And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you can’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.
If you're interested, you can. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for visitors to our site.
You and your boyfriend are in a relationship, but the question constantly arises: how seriously does he take it? How do you know if a man needs you, or is this just a game for him? Or maybe he is using you for his own selfish purposes? This is exactly what we will talk about in our article. You will learn how to understand whether he values relationships, whether he is in love, or whether he only needs sex and does not see you as part of his future.
No matter how beautiful words a man may say to a woman, his actions can speak more eloquently about his attitude. It is behavior that speaks about the role a woman plays in a man’s life.
Every relationship is unique in its own way, but there are a number of signs that can help shed light on your intentions towards your partner. If you are looking for a life partner and do not want to be a temporary toy, you should think about what you mean to the man you are dating.
Here are some signs that show that a guy doesn't value the relationship at all:
- You've been dating for a long time, but he doesn't introduce you to his friends. You don’t go to crowded places together - to the skating rink, to the cinema. He also refuses to meet your friends;
- meetings occur only when it is convenient for him;
- the guy doesn’t offer to introduce you to his relatives and refuses to meet yours;
- often in last minute cancels plans to meet with you;
- frequent quarrels due to his dissatisfaction with your appearance, behavior;
- his compliments do not sound sincere, but like in a cheap theater. When speaking, he does not choose words and may use rude expressions and profanity. But it is also worth considering the fact that some men consider this the norm of behavior and rudeness is already ingrained in them;
- the amount of attention given can also be an indicator of male attitudes. If he offers to meet only when he needs something, this is not good. Most often, a man uses a woman as a sexual partner. Offers meetings to have sex. There is no need to go into deep discussions here; the consumer attitude towards women is obvious.
If a man really loves
When a guy values a relationship, it's always obvious. You will definitely notice the following in his behavior:
- he listens to your opinion. If a man does not agree with you, but does as you ask him, he truly values the relationship;
- gifts are a clear sign that a man is trying to win you over. If a girl often receives various gifts from her beloved, it means she has won his heart and now he is trying to win her;
- if after meeting you a man began to change for the better, got a better-paid job, bought a new car, enrolled in courses, all this indicates that you inspire him;
- Behavior can also tell a lot about a man. A guy in love will give a girl compliments, as he notices all the little things and details of her appearance. If a man offers his hand when you get out of the car, opens the door for you, there is a real gentleman nearby, worthy of attention;
- tenderness and affection are signs of a reverent attitude towards a girl or woman. If such traits appear in his behavior, then the man values you.
Do you want to know all the secrets of seducing men? We recommend watching free video course Alexey Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women." You will receive a step-by-step 12-step plan on how to drive any man crazy and keep his affection for many years.
The video course is free. To watch, go to this page, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the video.
If you notice that a man is looking at you with an interested gaze, but does not take any steps towards you, you can be the first to invite him to have coffee. But you should act unobtrusively. A man in love will not refuse the lady of his heart.
Do you want to know 8 more unmistakable signs of the behavior of a man in love? Then definitely.
If you want to make sure that a guy really loves you, look at him. From them one can unmistakably determine his true attitude.
A few more feminine tricks that will help.
How to understand that he only needs you for sex
Actions of men who say that they use a woman for sex:
- your partner does not tell anything about himself, his family, his work. You know little about him and he communicates with you only on intimate topics. Your revelations about feelings do not touch him and do not cause joy or interest;
- pay attention to how he introduces you to his friends. If he introduces himself as “acquaintance” or “girlfriend,” judge for yourself what that means. But a loving man is unlikely to call his woman “girlfriend”;
- if, after spending a night together at his place, he is worried that there will be “evidence” of your presence left in the house, this should also alert you;
- If your passionate partner becomes colder than an iceberg after sex, this is serious evidence of his indifference. Loving man pays attention to his partner constantly, she can count on hugs, kisses and sweet conversations;
- Besides having sex, you no longer spend leisure time together. Here is a picture of a clear consumer attitude for the sake of bed;
- all the compliments that we heard from him during the period of acquaintance had obvious sexual overtones. The praise went either to your bust, your legs, or other parts of your body, but not to your personality.
Video to help - why a man doesn’t want a serious relationship:
If the relationship is far from ideal, either you allow the man too much, or there is simply “the wrong one” nearby. Therefore, search for someone who loves you, and do not be content with little.
Today Koshechka.ru will help you understand whether a man needs you, or whether he is just using you. Of course, every relationship is individual, but there are a number of signs that may indicate less than flattering conclusions. For example, that he needs you, but only for the time being. Or he's just using you for as long as it suits him.
I would like to immediately warn you that if you ultimately conclude that he does not need you, do not rush to add him to the list of “cattle.” As a rule, men behave with women exactly as we allow.
What's in the article:
How to understand if a man needs you: Actions vs. Words
Some naively believe that they mean so much to one of the male representatives that it is impossible to imagine. Often, those who get stuck in relationships that don’t “smell” of prospects fall into a similar trap. For example, this is carrot love with married people or with a man who is in another city, on another continent. Yes, in both situations you can find not just a note, but entire melodies of romance, but... Remember that the outcome of such relationships is rarely happy.
Therefore, look at the actions of a man. Not even that - Actions, with a capital letter. Because they can say whatever they want. Moreover, to anyone. And even just anyone. Agree, you don’t want to identify yourself with “just anyone,” but if you only believe the noodles on your ears, then you can even sign up for culinary courses on how to prepare them and become an experienced craftswoman in this. But do you need it? When you could easily go to dinner at an expensive French restaurant. And now we’re not just talking about restaurants...
Here signs that it’s time to understand how much a man needs you:
- meets with you only when it is convenient for him, not for you;
- sometimes cancels plans at the last minute, no matter how much you dreamed about it;
- Quarrels constantly break out between you, often due to his dissatisfaction with your behavior, appearance, choice, actions, or all together;
- he does not seek to meet your parents and does not introduce you as his own;
- does not introduce you to his friends, refuses to go together to the skating rink, to the cinema or somewhere else - with your group of friends.
Understand that if a man needs you, it will be so obvious that doubts will not even arise. Although the site itself has sometimes encountered such situations when it is clear: he behaves as if he is not interested in you. But as soon as you turn away, he doesn’t take his eyes off you. By the way, such behavior of a man, his pointed ignoring, is sometimes the result of your wrong words or actions. After all, every guy is the same child. And sometimes he is so afraid that he is hurt by unrequited love, for example (yes, men, even if they are already 40 years old, are real romantics! Not all, but many).
Nonverbal signals from a man:
- pupils dilate when looking at you;
- when communicating one-on-one, adjusts clothes, hairstyle, pulls down trousers,
- when you are in a group and everyone is laughing, he looks at you.
How do you know if a man who is now far away needs you?
It doesn't matter why. For example, I went to study in another city. Or you went on an internship somewhere. Look how often he initiates communication using all kinds of social networks, Vibers, Skype. Look at what he writes about. Does he share his own experiences? Does he ask about you?
How do you know if a married man needs you?
Understand whether you are needed or not, in the end such an alliance will not lead to good things. So, you've been warned! :) Now let's move on to understanding how to find out that you are not just another toy in his hands, but a truly valuable treasure:
- he takes into account your capabilities and desires, when and where to meet;
- he does not invent tales about when he will get divorced and why he cannot do this right now - he will simply honestly describe his situation, and it’s up to you whether to accept it or not;
- will try to give you pleasant surprises.
A common joke is that if you are a lover, you will receive flowers not on March 8th, but when? In general, it doesn't matter. He is quite capable of doing this on the holiday itself. For example, order courier delivery of flowers and even include a gift. It won’t convey it on its own, but it’s even more piquant and enjoyable.
However, if he does this, I would like to draw your attention once again: do not flatter yourself. Yes, you understand, a married man needs you. But for what? For the acuity of sensations, in order to understand how dear his wife really is to him (after all, yes, everything is known in comparison), simply because he wants to prove his importance to her or to spite her for not appreciating him. Or so he is trying to overcome his complexes.
Alas, very often girls want to find out the extent of their need in situations like: we communicate with him, but we hide it in public. Or - he periodically disappears, for a week, a month or even six months, then appears again. We, romantic natures, tend to think of more than just: he is not interested in you. You don’t have to develop it further - you yourself know what excuses they usually come up with for such truly unworthy male actions.
And further. It’s better to understand whether a man needs you before you get in over your head.
