Priest's answer:
It is impossible to answer this question satisfactorily without knowing the person personally, his character, spiritual state and accompanying circumstances. Therefore, the answer will be the most general and approximate. Human nature is damaged by the Fall of Adam and is affected by numerous passions that poison and distort all, without exception, spheres of human life, including marriage. That's why, premarital relations men and women in the status of bride and groom, as well as marital relationships (status: husband - wife) are destroyed mainly due to the inability to fight sin and a lack of understanding of what sin is in general. The reason for this is lack of churchliness, lack of knowledge of the rules of spiritual life. Therefore, if a young man stops loving you, this could happen due to the above-mentioned factors, among which there may be some of your fault. A person who knows you personally and has the correct, from the point of view of Orthodoxy, experience of family relationships can detect and suggest this. If you don’t find such a person, please read Orthodox literature on this topic. Perhaps you can find a solution to your confusion there. I recommend books by priest Ilya Shugaev, for example: “Marriage, Family, Children.” There are also his video lectures on these topics. All this can be easily found on the Internet on Orthodox websites and on YouTube. As for the question: “What to do if the love is not mutual?”, I offer an answer to a similar question asked by Anton some time ago: Anton asks: Hello! I would like not so much to ask you a question as to ask for advice. Sometimes a situation happens in life when a person falls in love, but unrequitedly. What Orthodox Christian should you do in such a situation if you have feelings for another person, but they are unrequited? And because of this, disgusting and nightmarish feelings of resentment, jealousy, and so on arise. And, worst of all, you feel that your faith is weakening. And it’s impossible to let a person go, the soul simply refuses... And Christ speaks about love, and the Apostle Paul in the 1st Epistle to the Corinthians (chapter 13), and at the same time this kind of thing arose in life dark side this bright feeling... What to do? Answer: Unfortunately, in the Russian language such a concept as love is denoted by only one term. In Greek there are several of these terms and each reveals different aspects of love. Love for God, the highest form of love, is denoted by the word “agape”, love like male friendship is “Philadelphia”, carnal love between a man and a woman is “eros”. So, both the Savior and the apostles, in the passages of the New Testament you cited, called for acquiring not the love that regulates the marriage relationship between a man and a woman, but love expressed in the Gospel principle: as you want people to do to you, do so and you are with them (Matthew 7:12). As for the unrequited love of a man for a woman. One of the consequences of Adam’s fall was a disorder of the will, the opposition of the human will to the will of God. This state in the language of asceticism is called self-will. Self-will is what becomes the cause of many of our troubles and disorder in our relationships with God and our neighbors. A person damaged by original sin wants everything to be the way he wants. But the will, upset by sin, often desires what is contrary to the will of God. This is what causes our suffering. Therefore, in ancient times, in a monastic school, the elder, having taken a student into obedience, first of all, sought to cut off the passion of self-will in him and teach him to surrender to the will of God. In our time, we don’t even know that self-will is a sin. Where is self-will revealed? In relation to man and God's providence for him. Christianity says that not a single random event happens to us in life. Each event is the fruit of providence and occurs either by will or by God’s permission (if the cause of the event lies in the evil will of man). Man, however, does not want to agree with God’s will for himself, and therefore he grieves, becomes despondent, becomes angry, and murmurs against God and people who are only instruments of providence in relation to him. The result, as you write, is feelings of resentment, jealousy and a weakening of faith. But is it really impossible to fight for your love? - It is possible and necessary. Firstly, you need to pray to God, ask for His help and blessing. Secondly, show the girl through actions and words the seriousness of your intentions towards her. But here a golden mean is also necessary: if all reasonable attempts have not led to an answer on her part, in this you also need to see God’s providence for yourself (which means she is not the one that God is pleased to give me), and calm down, agree with the Divine will . Other similar cases must be resolved this way. Schema-abbot Savva, in his book: “Take sincere advice from me,” describes a story from the patericon about an ascetic who learned in every event that happened to him to see the action of the Creator and agree with him. He became not only an internally happy person, but was also awarded the gift of miracles. You can argue from the other side. Let us assume that there is no God and His providence for man. All events in life are an accident. And so, we find ourselves in a situation opposite to our desires, and at the same time, we cannot influence it in the slightest. How should we behave here correctly? Get angry, hate everything and everyone, get depressed, get drunk or worse, think about suicide? But nothing will change because of this, and we get upset and destroyed. Or agree with what happened and calm down? One wise man said: “If you cannot change your circumstances, change yourself.” These words are very consonant with Christianity. Therefore, when something in life happens contrary to our desires, and all attempts to change the situation do not lead to positive results, we need to thank God for this in prayer, saying: “Glory to You, Lord, for everything! Thy will be done!” Like a prudent thief, admit your sinfulness and unworthiness: “I receive what is worthy of my deeds” (and in reality, this is often the case). And then, even if external events have not changed, the peace of God will visit us, and the soul will not be darkened by any sinful movements.
Conceit, self-will, self-willPresent in a person three very strong reasons with which his fallen nature resists the assimilation of the morality of Christ. First of them - enslaves his mind, this conceit and self-esteem ; second - enslaves his heart, it waywardness ; And third- enslaves his will, it self-will . All three constitute the fallen character of man; together they are his bad manners, i.e. lack of God's morality. Lack of morality is an abomination of desolation. We often use the word “abomination of desolation” to look for what is outside... This is how it most often happens. Churches that have strayed into heresy, cities and villages in which there are no churches live in the abomination of desolation. But the human soul, which is entirely turned to these three self-pleasing, proud foundations, is also in the abomination of desolation.
Let's focus on these three. The first foundation is that which enslaves the human mind - conceit. Every person has plenty of it. Some have an opinion of themselves as a fairly good, well-behaved, kind, capable, developed, highly educated person. For example, one says: “I am an educated person.” Why? - "I have a diploma higher education". Another says: “I am also an educated person, although I am lower than you, because I have a high school certificate, but I graduated with “4” and “5.” And another says: “But I finished with a silver medal,” and a third says: “And I finished with a gold.” At this moment they show conceit, because a person chooses his own criterion by which he evaluates himself and through this claims a certain attitude of people towards him.
Saint Theophan the Recluse considers this in his book “The Path to Salvation” itself opinion: “I am a Christian.” And this conceit “gives” him the right to now certainly convert everyone to church. Is there a blessing from God for this? But man does not delve into the Providence of God, does not hear the will of God. He has the conceit that Christianity is better than non-Christianity. And he considers it his duty to church everyone - sorcerers, Baptists, atheists, all his neighbors and relatives, guided only by his own conceit. In conceit, a person does not surrender into the hands of God, is not guided by the will of God, it does not constitute the value of his life. Value in his life himself
.Another reason is opinion- it means to have your opinion on everything and everyone around. This is an extremely serious disease of the human mind. Let's try to understand the essence of this and understand how and that is its heaviness.
A believer needs an encounter with the character of Christ. The greatest possible encounter with Christ for every Christian is the encounter in the Sacraments. Often we have no other personal relationship with the Lord. After all, now the Lord does not physically dwell among us, and therefore we cannot meet Him with our own eyes, since we meet each other every day. How can we know the character of Christ? There are only three sources: the Sacraments, where the Lord gives His grace, the Word of God, the Gospel, as well as the works of the Holy Fathers, revealing its content. The Holy Fathers revealed for us the image of Christ in their creations. We can only learn the image of Christ’s character with the help of the Gospel and patristic works.
Self-importance- this is a person’s ability to form his immediate (or after some work) judgment about this or that phenomenon, thing or event. Let's imagine how the Gospel is met not by a thirst for God's character, but by human opinion. In this case, a person forms his own, personal opinion about what he read. For example, he reads the Commandment of God: " Blessed are the poor in spirit". And he comes into a stupor. Self-esteem has nothing to rely on. Many remember, probably, the first meeting with this commandment... There is some kind of complete mystery in this Commandment, it is completely unknown what it says... Gradually reading the patristic interpretations , a person slowly and slowly begins to absorb the content of this commandment. And from a certain moment, it seems to him, he clearly understands what it is. And he says: “Now I understand the Commandment of God.” Alas, from the moment he said “I understand,” and the triumph of his opinion began. Because he didn’t understood, A Understood. And these two words have different meanings.
The word “understood” implies “to take”, to grasp, to possess. So the proud human mind, remaining outside of God, tries to embrace the world around it. But the human mind is limited. He cannot really grasp neither the depth, nor the height, nor the latitude, nor the longitude of the world, the microcosm and the macrocosm. Then human pride takes a different path. She makes her judgment about depth or height, about latitude or longitude, about quality or property, about character or mood. This judgment is given a complete form and is satisfied with this, believing that there is nothing more in the object or event or phenomenon.
Indeed, in the material world, all objects have a finished form. This type can be described and repeated. Take a stone, or a tree, or a table. The external image is complete, but the reason for the image, as well as the reason for the substance from which the object is made, can go into incomprehensible depths. A person makes a certain judgment about this depth, which at first is a hypothesis, assumption or opinion. The more a person puts aside himself and gives place to the object or phenomenon itself with its objective properties and various manifestations, the closer his judgment is to the object and phenomenon itself, and so continues until it completely coincides with it. But from this moment there is no longer any human judgment about the object; the very reality of the object remains for human contemplation. The ability to humble oneself before the reality of an object, and therefore to suspend one’s opinions or judgments about an object, is a feature of pure contemplation, which is acquired by God to the human mind.
Alas, the sinful darkness of the mind, its fall into pride and submission to it, doomed man to pursue his scientific search not through pure contemplation, but through the method of gradual judgments and testing them in practice or experience. The more a person is caught up in pride, the more petty his judgments. He doesn't bother to look into the depths. Having barely grasped the external manifestations of an object, he already forms his own opinion about it and, quite content, relies on it in his handling of it. Thus, blindfolded sages gave quite confident and highly intelligent descriptions of the elephant, one by its leg, another by its trunk, and a third by its tail. Or historians and writers of different persuasions and levels give their descriptions of the same historical events. This is also the basis of all the rumors that people love to live by. By the same mechanism, many quarrels and mutual distorted or misunderstandings of people of each other arise. From this arises many wise interpretations of the Gospel, which become the cause of numerous sects.
Pure contemplation is characteristic only of a humble mind, and the depth and simplicity of contemplation is characteristic only of the Spirit of God.
Hence, outstanding discoveries in science could be made by people who were quite humble and simple, or at a time in their lives when they were characterized by simplicity.
Now let's get back to our two words. The word “understood” refers either to a reality that has a truly complete appearance, or to a person’s judgment, to which he himself, despite the subject, gives the property of completeness. The latter is an opinion.
The words “understand”, “understand”, “understanding” do not refer to the completeness of any level of an object or phenomenon, but to its depth, which, regarding divine objects, always remains infinite and incomprehensible.
In this case, the derivative of “understood” is the word “ understand" means to take, grasp, assimilate, master any knowledge. “Understood” means that the subject is no longer subject to my further research, study. “Understood” means, took possession, ownership. Thanks to this method of our action With reason, one can take possession of the earth, the universe, the atom, and even God as a concept. But man cannot own either the Holy Scriptures or God. No matter how much he limits his understanding of the Gospel, it will remain incomprehensible to him. Therefore, the Church is about spiritual phenomena and Speaks truth as subject understanding, i.e. endless, unlimited comprehension. The understanding consciousness puts aside selfishness and pride, humbles itself before the greatness of Divine truth, and out of this humility works on understanding it. In an attempt to comprehend, a person performs three successive stages. The first is the assimilation of knowledge heard or read. The second is reflection, spiritual reasoning over them. When thinking, we attract the judgments of other holy fathers about the same subject, and with their spiritual understanding we peer into the same subject. The third is life test, test, fulfillment in life. A soul filled with humility acquires grace-filled sanctification and thanks to this begins to have spiritual understanding about this or that subject.
Conceptual consciousness usually stops at the first stage and is satisfied with it. Moreover, it believes that an object really is what is contained in the concept of it. Here is the beginning of arrogance, self-confidence, complacency, while understanding is born in humility and is accomplished by it in its development, deepening or ascent to God. Conceptual consciousness will say "I understand". The sensible will say "I got it".
In the patristic works of past centuries we will not encounter the word “understood”, “understand”. There are also the words “to understand,” “to understand” means constantly encountering the truth of the Lord, but never fully comprehending it, never reaching the peak, all understanding. For the truths of God are endless. The conceptual consciousness of a person is a self-conscious consciousness; it forms its own opinion, its own concept about everything. Having received this concept, having formed it, he considers it a virtue and is proud of it.
It knows no depth in anything, but has its own opinion about everything. It can look at everything simply, but it will be either the simplicity of disbelief, or the simplicity of passion. For both reasons, a person can be frank, sometimes to the point of insolence, and this will be the whole secret of his simplicity.
Here is what St. Macarius the Great says about such consciousness: "Those who proclaim spiritual teaching without tasting or experiencing it, I read like a man, on a hot afternoon in summer, walking through an empty and waterless country; then, from a strong and burning thirst, he imagines in his mind that there is a cool spring near him, with sweet and clear water, and as if he drinks from it to his fill without any obstacle; or a person who has not tasted honey at all, but tries to explain to others what its sweetness is. Such, truly, are those who, by their very deed and their own inquiry, having not comprehended what belongs to perfection, sanctification and dispassion, want to instruct others in this. For if God grants them at least a little sense of what they are talking about, then they will, of course, learn that the truth and deeds do not resemble their story, but differ very much from it."(Sk. about the elevation of the mind, ch. 18).
In this sense, self-conception is one of the most serious enemies of today’s human churching. Modern man in fact, he is almost unable to find himself in the character of Christ or to begin the path of this acquisition until he understands and discovers his own nature within himself. To understand your own opinion in yourself is to form another opinion, and to understand it in yourself is to achieve victory over yourself, move towards spiritual life, and experience repentance. The stages of understanding are described by St. Theophan the Recluse in his book “What is spiritual life and how to tune in to it.” Until a person goes through these five stages, the understanding of the word of the Gospel or the Holy Fathers cannot be accomplished in him. This is serious, life-long spiritual work on the content of your mind.
The second stone in the heart is self-will. Willfulness affects a person to the very depths of his soul; first of all, it manifests itself in the nature of his relationships with others. Waywardness- this is the ability to steadily maintain a certain order, a certain nature of attitude towards the environment. Moreover, in certain situations, behave in the same way.
Usually we distinguish all people by their willfulness. At the everyday level, it looks like this: “Katerina Vasilievna always gets furious in such a situation,” “Gennady Ivanovich is always very offended,” “Lenochka always becomes stubborn in these cases,” “Nikolai in this situation always becomes hysterical, throws things , slams the door and runs away "... Someone is always arrogant in relations with certain people, with others he always experiences disgust (people are always disgusting and disgusting to him), in relation to others he is always a little patronizing. One person is always a servant in relation to certain people, another is like a frog in front of a boa constrictor, one is stubborn, another is suspicious, another is boastful. Persistence, persistence in one’s character is willfulness, a stable disposition of the soul that a person shows in certain situations. And most often, willfulness is not realized by the person himself. And even where he begins to realize this in himself, the depths of willfulness are inaccessible to him. In fact, change your waywardness in certain situations, i.e. it is almost impossible for most people to control themselves over a long period of their disclosure.
There are times when a person works hard to change his relationship with the people around him. Let's say a person is closed. As soon as he gets into the company of people, something immediately closes in him, and he cannot overcome it in himself, he did this and that, he confessed many times, repented of it, tried to change something, to change something. But as soon as he found himself in a characteristic situation, everything returned to normal.
Man's willfulness is uncontrollable. If we look even deeper, we see that self-will lies at the root of man's fallen character. Only the sanctifying grace of God can completely reveal human waywardness.
When we turn to modern psychology, which has great achievements (especially Western), we will see that it actually studies human willfulness, i.e. in her research she does not go beyond the bounds of willfulness. Much has been researched in this area, much has been studied, the deepest mechanisms of formation and action of willfulness have been discovered, and many psychological techniques with which psychotherapy successfully helps people are based on them. But until some point. And then psychotherapy can no longer help a person. Even such outstanding techniques that are based on research Nobel laureate American scientist Eric Berne and his school, give results only for three to five years. And then a person is still faced with his waywardness, which emerges from the depths, and which he again cannot control. This depth of a person’s subconscious (and in the subconscious lies the very depth of human willfulness) cannot be revealed by anything except through the action of God’s grace.
The Lord, when he calls a person to the Church, calls him to begin to discover himself. This is happening with the help of God. The Lord in some cases carefully, and in others crushingly (but always therapeutically, precisely) reveals to a person his waywardness, and through this falling into the sanctifying grace of God, a person begins to be healed by repentance from him.
Finally, the third stone is self-will. We will not dwell on this in detail. Quite a lot has been said about this above.
It is the fulfillment by a person of the needs of either self-indulgence, or people-pleasing, or self-satisfaction (self-confidence, pride-self-sufficiency). In any case, there is some kind of self-interest behind self-will. Otherwise, there is no need for a person to go against the will of God, there is no need to ignore it, not notice it, or there is no need to remake it or interpret it in his own way.
Self-will prohibits reverence in a person, for it honors only itself. It does not know obedience, for it prohibits faith, muffles it, mortifies it, so that over time a person completely ceases to hear God. Self-will, driven by pride, in its daring antics openly challenged God.
Self-will is afraid of sincere, trusting relationships, in everything it does everything as it wants, wants guarantees, doubts circumstances, upcoming events, does not trust people, is afraid to betray itself to the will of mentors, confessors, leaves the last word and choice for itself, takes a long time to try things out or, on the contrary, he acts thoughtlessly and decisively, relies on himself or, on the contrary, doubts himself, hesitates in indecision.
Thus, three characteristics of man's fallen nature separate him in a sovereign manner from Christ. And if it were not for the grace of God, it would be impossible for man to be saved from them.
There is a certain segment of people who are not averse to visiting church, from time to time confessing and receiving communion (say, once a year), but at the same time they believe that:
- Biblical commandments and church rules of piety are difficult to fulfill, especially for modern man;
- These commandments deprive a person of the joys of earthly life, and sometimes contradict the very nature of man;
It is characteristic that this opinion is usually expressed when it is necessary to justify “free” sexual relations “without a stamp” before a priest in confession, then - non-observance of fasts, lack of home prayer rules, etc.
If we look at the commandments as a set of rules given for the purpose of moral education, the above statements may well be a topic for discussion. But the fact of the matter is that these commandments are based on a certain understanding of human nature and the purpose of his life. That is, they cannot be understood apart from Christian anthropology.
So here it is. I dare to say that the 10 biblical commandments, the Savior’s Sermon on the Mount, etc. – by limiting our self-will, they enable a person to gain freedom.
Imagine a driver driving. On the way he meets different signs and signs - speed limit, turn prohibition, etc. There are also traffic rules. You may decide that there are too many of them - try to comply with all of them! “But I’m late for a business meeting!..”; “I have a meeting with a girl!..”; “The guys are already calling: the bathhouse is heated, moonshine has been brought from Belovezhskaya Pushcha, the kebab is “ripe” - I’m late!..” And in general, what Russian doesn’t like driving fast ( especially if there is 0.1 or more ppm in the blood)!
What do you think will happen to this driver? Perhaps it will “pass” several times. But, sooner or later, an accident can be guaranteed. And instead of a destination, the person ends up in a ditch, or even in intensive care. There is no freedom either here or there.
This is self-will – the desire to “steer” according to one’s own concepts, regardless of the accumulated experience of others, which is embodied in rules and road signs.
These rules are most likely imperfect. But they create a quite sufficient level of safety on the roads. And if I travel, observing them - then free I reach my goal - say, the city of Minsk, and in it - my entrance and apartment.
That., Freedom is the conscious acceptance of the rules and restrictions necessary to achieve a goal.
For a Christian, the goal of life is to become a temple of the Holy Spirit, to achieve the Kingdom of Christ. But, since for many this sounds too high, I will say it more simply. We probably all want to learn how to be happy.
The path to achieving this goal also has its own rules of movement. For a Christian, they are expressed in the New Testament. There are also psychological, social rules for building family relationships and behavior in society. There are rules for building healthy relationships in a work team. And so on.
I don't have to accept them. I may not even bother to get to know them properly. And in general, God is Love, He must forgive me my mistakes! And I didn’t rob or kill, I live more or less like a decent person (according to my own value system, of course). So, they simply have to accept me into heaven... As for the family - I love this girl (guy) - and love itself will teach you everything! That's why we don't need psychology!
Only, like traffic rules, spiritual, family and social laws apply regardless of whether I know and accept them. Therefore, if I have Indeed there is such a goal– to become happy – ignoring these commandments is simply unreasonable. Otherwise, you shouldn’t wonder later why I’m “in a ditch” - still here on earth, when “discord” and depression become constant companions. And for some reason it’s scary to stand before the Lord in eternity...
But there is another one interest Ask– Am I choosing the right goals to achieve? Will they really give me the expected fullness of existence and happiness? So, a tipsy person suddenly gets the idea to go somewhere for some reason. He is completely convinced of the importance of this trip, and knows exactly its purpose. He gets behind the wheel - and drives - if there is no one to stop him in time. And having sobered up (sometimes - already in handcuffs) - he himself does not understand or does not remember what thoughts he was guided by...
This happens in life too. A person sets himself the goal of creating a family - only after creation he sees that the goal was chosen prematurely, he is not ready for marriage. And the family, if not falling apart, is “bursting at the seams.” Or – the goal was chosen for false reasons (“they jump out of marriage” in order to escape from a dysfunctional parental family; they confuse pity for a man with love; they see their spouse as a housewife and a body for sexual intimacy – etc.). Or – it was expected that with career growth there would also be life satisfaction. And after achieving the desired fast, an emptiness opened up in my soul, and the difficulties associated with fasting turned out to be a burden.
How correctly have I determined the global goal of life, which will be dominant, and from which my actions and deeds will flow?
And here we come to the topic of sin.
Sin is not just a violation of the commandments, not only “being irritated, overeating, being lazy to pray,” as it usually sounds in a standard confession. At its core, sin is a choice of goal and path. It will be easier for me to convey the meaning of sin by drawing a parallel with addictions. In the literature of Alcoholics Anonymous there is a statement that alcoholism is a complete rebellion of self-will. In my opinion, alcoholism and other psychoactive addictions are the most striking manifestation of infection with sin, the creation of idols from ourselves and from the world, the desire to become a god without God. In sin I look for heaven for myself - as I want it to be. When I commit a sin, I engage in self-affirmation.
Sin is choosing a goal other than God, outside God, without God.
There is such a concept - the constitution of the body. This is a set of initial parameters, laws, functions inherent in a given body, within the framework of which the organism develops and lives. But he cannot go beyond the framework of the constitution. For example, I can’t change my hair color from black to brown (dying my hair doesn’t count). A sanguine person can learn to control his behavior and feelings, but he is unlikely to become a phlegmatic person. Adoption hormonal drugs to accelerate growth or increase leg length - in addition to the questionable effect, it is likely to be harmful to health. Attempts to go beyond the limits of one’s psycho-physical constitution threaten destruction.
There is also a spiritual constitution. According to the Bible, man was initially created with certain parameters and tasks, which are described in the Bible as follows: “And God created man in His own image and likeness.” The image of God in man is his constitution. Similarity, i.e. the opportunity to become like the Creator, to draw closer to Him, is his goal. It was natural for him to strive for his Prototype, to reveal and develop his gifted abilities, ultimately transforming his life into communion with God. And while he walked along this path, observing the rules - the commandments given in paradise and the restriction (not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil) - he was free.
But people wanted to be gods - without God. They wanted to manage their lives themselves, to find goals and meaning in life outside of their Prototype, subdue peace for yourself, become autocratic. That is, they tried to change the purpose of life and go beyond their constitution. And as a result, they disfigured their own spiritual and psychophysical nature. There was a disruption in all areas of life. The spirit became detached from God and began to atrophy. The soul turned out to be dependent not on the spirit, but on the body. The body, incapable of independently maintaining life, began to depend on the world. But the world, given by the Creator to man, was also separated by him from Divine energy, and was doomed to mortality. And, therefore, depending on the mortal world, man also became mortal.
“A man ate the forbidden fruit, thinking that it would give him life. But food itself, outside and without God, is a sacrament of death. It is no coincidence that what we eat must already be dead to become our food. We eat to live, but precisely because we eat something devoid of life, the food itself inexorably leads us to death. And in death there is not and cannot be life." The thirst for immortality remained (however, often successfully lulled by the roar of civilization), but it became impossible to quench it. Any attempts to circumvent the law of death, to achieve immortality “by an autocratic hand” - through magic or technical achievements - are doomed to failure. This is the first consequence of the Fall.
The second global consequence is discord in the person himself, loss of integrity. The fall caused fragmentation. All God-given talents, abilities, feelings, having ceased to depend on the spirit, were out of touch with each other. Having ceased to serve the intended purpose - deification - they turned out to be, each in itself, an end in itself, just as cancer cells that are detached from the body and ceased to perform their function, which grow at the expense of the whole organism, become an end in themselves. That is, they have degenerated into passions that can even compete with each other for the possession of a person and his resources.
Freedom turns into self-will, which inevitably leads to total lack of freedom (I’m not sure if this needs to be explained, it’s so obvious - just as obvious is the lack of freedom of a driver who finds himself in a ditch with a deformed car). And also in imposing one’s will on others - from the family to authoritarian rule in entire states. The ability to love degenerates into egocentrism and selfishness. Natural attraction to the other sex to create a family (the Creator’s commandment is “be fruitful and multiply”; “it is not good for man to be alone”) degenerates into lust and fornication. The desire for food (paradise is given to man as the Lord's table) and the need for satiation, instead of maintaining physical and emotional strength, leads to the consumption of food as a process in itself, even to the detriment of health.
The gift of creativity is used in such a way that it threatens to destroy civilization, both spiritually (degeneration at the cultural level) and physically (man-made disasters). The desire for spiritual development was inherent in man - but now this leads to the fact that magic and the occult turn out to be an everyday phenomenon. The thirst for God leads to the creation of idols, false religions, cults, and sects. The invested desire for happiness is replaced by a race for pleasure, which is so easy to manipulate, and turns into drug addiction, gambling etc. The possession of the world commanded by the Creator is perverted - into the desire for power, wealth, luxury. The joy of self-awareness and the development of one’s abilities degenerates into pride and vanity...
The list goes on. This is sin - fragmentation, passion, mortality, loss of orientation, when a person is controlled by his own desires, which do not obey the mind and spirit, but “carry” and “carry” the person.
As for the mind and will, they have become a tool for the realization of passionate inclinations. Reason - ponders how to realize the attraction of a victorious passion, will - directs a person’s actions towards its realization. It all depends on which passion is now stronger than the others. It is no longer I who live, but people who live by me. Each passion can “consider itself” self-sufficient – and “compete” with others for the possession of a person and his will. For example, a greedy person may want to “show off” in front of people significant to him, and will perform a charity event - vanity has won in him. A proud person can force himself to “adapt” to his superiors in order to achieve power: “I am ready to humiliate myself just to get a little closer to the sweet goal.”
And this suits a person - like any drug, sin gives euphoria. First of all, the euphoria of “selfhood”...
This is the state of man after the Fall. I don’t know about anyone, but I can’t call this condition normal. I am poisoned by sin, like a drug from which consciousness is distorted, when both mind and will are directed towards the demands of the sin operating in me.
This is why I need an honest “mirror” - to remind me of who I truly am, who I was before the Fall in paradise, and who I can be in the Kingdom of Christ. To remind me of the high goal to which I am called, and on the path to which I gain freedom and the ability to be happy.
No, it is not some innocent pleasures and “natural instincts” that prohibit the commandments of the Bible. They set a limit to self-will, and lead to that freedom that was once lost by Adam, but the return to which was given to us by the New Adam - Our Lord and Savior and God Jesus Christ.
About clergy and priesthood
Is it necessary to take a blessing from all priests in a row or is it enough to take one from one?
It depends on the circumstances how best to do this.
What should you do if you have lost confidence in your confessor, but are embarrassed to say so?
Tell another confessor about this.
There are sins (especially some of the flesh) that are very shameful to talk about in confession, especially if a woman has to tell a young priest. What to do in such cases (especially if these sins are serious and cannot be forgiven in general confession)?
Find another priest to whom to repent of these sins.
If a priest gives his blessing to do something that is not in accordance with the teachings of the church, should the blessing be performed?
Not only a priest, but even an Angel from heaven should not be listened to if he says something contrary to the teachings of the Gospel. The holy apostle writes about this in his epistle.
Can one priest serve two Liturgies on one day?
IN Orthodox Church this is forbidden to the priest. In the life of St. Joasaph of Belgorod we read that one priest could not die because of this sin, and only when he repented to St. Joasaph and he resolved it, he was able to die.
If the priest is not very experienced and is probably doing something wrong, then is it worth telling him about it or not?
It is better to abstain, as Saint Barsanuphius the Great advises. You can give some loving advice to a close priest.
If the priest did not allow communion without explaining the reason, is it possible to turn to another priest with the confession just said for a blessing?
It is better to endure, contritely admitting oneself as unworthy, than to turn to another priest.
Is it possible to complain to a priest about a neighbor during confession, ask him to talk some sense into his husband, and generally talk about his everyday troubles?
Due to the very “compressed time”, it is necessary to tell only sins to the priest in confession. It’s better to say the rest later.
I know that one of the priests I know leads an unworthy life. Should he take communion when he serves the Liturgy, or is it better to postpone it? The same applies to the blessing of water and other sacred rites.
Saint John Chrysostom says that grace also works through unworthy priests.
How to properly address a deacon: the same way as a priest, i.e. “Father Vasily”, or “Father Deacon”, “Deacon Vasily”?
This doesn't play a big role. If only in a conversation with him, look for how best to save your soul and overcome your evil, sinful habits, in order to ask spiritual things that are useful for the soul, otherwise it may happen as the Optina elder Anthony said: “If you ask something unhelpful, you will hear something unhelpful.”
If the confessor died and did not have time to transfer the child to another confessor, then what to do?
This question is kind of strange. It is not the confessor who chooses his children, but the children who choose their confessor. The most important thing in choosing a confessor is that he be experienced in spiritual life, and now almost everyone is looking for visionaries and saints.
If a clergyman commits sins and then goes to church for a service, does he not insult the title and the Holy Church itself by his presence?
Here it must be said that sin is different from sin. In one of the funeral prayers, the priest reads that “there is no person who would live and not sin”... God alone is without sin, but there are sins that, indeed, not only discredit the priesthood, but according to canonical rules, if the priest commits such sins, he should be defrocked. This, first of all, includes mortal sins: fornication, adultery, all kinds of sexual perversion, witchcraft, murder. If a priest is subject to this, he not only perishes himself, but, worst of all, is a temptation for people of little or no faith. It must be said that if such a priest for some reason is not prohibited from serving by the ruling bishop, the Sacraments of the Church that he performs are valid and effective. The grace of God, bestowed upon him upon ordination, acts on the believer regardless of the sinfulness of the clergyman, passing through him as through a “pipe.” Although any Christian is subject to a strict demand for sins from the Lord, he who is endowed with the dignity will answer for them strictly. To whom much is given, much will be required (Luke 12:48).
Father, many people say that now there are no elders and no one who could interpret the Holy Scriptures?
Seek and you will find; search hard. If a person earnestly prays to the Lord God, then after that every little thing he will do as a child will benefit his soul. And the fact that others would like to find a leader, but do not find one, is said by those who do not want to come to terms. Moreover, the enemy of the human race, who always wants our destruction, interferes; he knows that if someone humbly seeks advice from a person experienced in spiritual life, then this one will explain to the questioner and reveal the treachery of the enemy.
How to address a bishop: simply “Vladyko” or with the addition of a name, like a priest: “Vladyko Boris”?
The traditional address to a bishop is: “holy Vladyko” or simply “Vladyko”, without pronouncing the name.
How to look for a leader in spiritual life in our time?
For the last times, the later St. the fathers are already offering more guidance to the Holy Scriptures and patristic writings, without rejecting, however, very careful advice with modern fathers and brethren, while carefully maintaining the spirit of humility and repentance in thoughts and feelings. “This is doing,” writes St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, - given by God to our time, and we are obliged to reverently use the gift of God given to us for salvation.”
Why is so much importance attached to St. fathers of life under the guidance of a spiritual father?
He who lives on his own, without a spiritual father, lives fruitlessly. Even if he does well, his conscience in this case cannot be peaceful (since it is pacified by confession and revelation). He must have constant indecision, vagueness, and most importantly, the mood of self-will remains the same.
What if there is no leader?
“N. is telling the truth that today there are no real leaders,” St. Theophan the Recluse answered a similar question. - However, one should not remain with Scripture and fatherly lessons alone. Questioning is necessary! Paisius Nyametsky decided this: two or three like-minded people will form an alliance and question each other, leading a life of mutual obedience with the fear of God and prayer.”
What is the best way to ask the elders, one or many?
You should never ask different leaders about the same matter, and never ask the same thing again, because the very first answer comes from the Lord, and the second from the reasoning of man in the elder. Every questioner takes on the sign of humility and thereby imitates Christ. Saint Peter of Damascus says about himself: “I received a lot of harm from inexperienced advisers.” Therefore, it is good to question everything, but to the experienced, but to the inexperienced it is dangerous, because they do not have reasoning.
When should one depart from the elder?
The Monk Pimen the Great ordered immediate separation from the elder who was causing harm to the soul. It’s a different matter when there is no mental harm, but only disturbing thoughts, from the demon, which do not need to be obeyed as if they were acting. exactly where we receive spiritual benefit.
Is it possible to seek priesthood or monasticism?
“It is a sin to seek the priesthood, but it is commendable to strive for monasticism - and St. the fathers sought monasticism, and even shied away from the priesthood,” teaches Elder Barnabas of Iveron1.
Does the prohibition of a bishop, which is not in accordance with the will of God, entail deprivation of grace?
Only the prohibition of the bishop entails the deprivation of grace, which is in accordance with the will of God. If there is no such agreement, then not only is grace not withdrawn and not sent, but church life itself shows that all such actions are not accepted by the Church, even if they were carried out by the great Ecumenical Councils and the most Orthodox Patriarchs and Synods.
What to do if the priest refused to listen to confession?
“If your confessor refuses to listen to your confession, then you can turn to another” (St. Theophan the Recluse).
Why do some believers sometimes feel jealousy and envy if you often turn to a priest?
“This happens when we dwell a lot, often without giving an account ourselves, only on the personality of the shepherd; his image is always presented before us, our heart is filled with feeling for him as a person, while Christ, our Savior, remains, as it were, on the sidelines. It is then that jealousy, envy, rivalry, and ill will develop among the flock. Then the following phenomena are possible. A beloved shepherd has died and we imagine that all is lost. Where is Christ? Did you have Him? Unfortunately no. If He had existed, then such cowardice and disappointment would not have happened to you” (Arseniy Zhadanovsky).
What to do if you have an unkind feeling towards your confessor?
“When being cared for by a confessor or an elder, you may develop bad feelings towards him: suspicion, condemnation, envy and ill will. However, do not give in to these feelings, fight them and do not leave your confessor or elder. If you have a bad feeling towards your confessor, know that the latter is useful to you, but the enemy is planning to remove you from him, remove you. Maybe the elder is knocking down your prideful feeling or some other shortcoming, and this is unpleasant for you and your enemy, so hostility towards your spiritual father rises in your heart” (Arseniy Zhadanovsky).
Should the priest himself retire?
Saint Theophan the Recluse did not advise retiring. “Until the Lord unharnesses,” he said, “pull.”
What should I do if I have not found a knowledgeable, experienced and well-intentioned confessor?
Yes, indeed, a satisfactory spiritual mentor in our times is the greatest rarity. In this case, confess your sins more often to your spiritual father, and draw instructions from the Holy Scriptures and books written by St. fathers and elders, especially about asceticism.
Before confession, read God’s commandments with an explanation or a list of sins.
Isn't it sinful to “choose” priests?
Honor all priests, and resort to good ones. More parents need to honor priests. “Do you know,” asks St. John Chrysostom, “who the priest is?” And he answers: “Angel of the Lord. “And therefore,” he says, “one should honor shepherds more than parents, for they are Christ’s servants on earth, and whoever honors them honors Christ.” Appreciate shepherds who are wise, kind and experienced in spiritual life and keep them close to you.
Every priest can absolve sins, but he is one of many who can teach spiritual life.
What is heart debauchery?
Some of their believers manage to have several confessors in such a way that they tell one one some sins and another another; there are also those who do not value their confessor, but try to go through as many of them as possible, justifying themselves by saying that they will not fall for a good one. All this is the fruit of inner heart debauchery.
How to look at the change of confessors?
The general rule should be this: you should not change your confessor without a good reason. What can be called a valid reason? A change of residence of a shepherd and, through this, difficult communication with him, is an incurable illness for a shepherd.
In what order should one reveal thoughts to the spiritual father?
The more important thoughts should be revealed to the spiritual father first, and not vice versa.
Are secret exploits useful without the knowledge of the spiritual father?
This is what the Monk Ambrose of Optina writes to one ascetic: “Write to me sincerely your secret asceticism, for which you did not accept the blessing, but unauthorized asceticism is both dangerous and harmful to the soul. If this is good, then why is it hidden from the spiritual father?
Look - you have one soul and one mind; damaging both is dangerous; and enemy infiltrators are everywhere, of course under the guise of goodness and spiritual benefit. I see that you have fallen into the network of seeking perfection, forgetting the perfection of repentance?
At what age can one be ordained?
“Before the age of twenty they cannot be admitted to the priesthood,” answers Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow, “and therefore let them study more maturely, rather than, through immature training, wait for the time of service without work and without supervision.”
I just can’t reveal some sins to my confessor and even confessed them to another priest. Is this possible from a spiritual point of view?
Whoever confesses to another priest, ashamed to reveal a great sin to his confessor, is like a murderer of Christ, and his sin will be written over his head in the future life.
How to behave when meeting a priest?
When you meet a priest, bow to him and rejoice, as if you saw your angel on earth. The enemy puts in his superstitious thought that there will be no happiness now; but if you really think so, you will be punished for your thought. Think: if a priest goes to give communion to a person, then he has the Body and Blood of Christ with him... Previously there were apostles, but now they are replaced by priests.
There is a lot of madness in the world today. The devil has gone wild because modern people have given him many rights. People are exposed to terrible demonic influences. One person explained this very correctly. “Before,” he says, “the devil dealt with people, but now he doesn’t deal with them. He takes them onto [his] road and admonishes: “Well, no feathers, no feathers!” And people wander along this road themselves.” This is scary. Look: the demons in the country of the Gadarenes asked Christ for permission to enter the pigs, because the pigs did not give the devil rights over them and he did not have the right to enter them without permission. Christ allowed him to do this to punish the Israelites, since the law forbade them to eat pork.
And some, Geronda (Elder, roughly corresponds to our “priest.” This address is used among the Greeks both for simple elder monks and for abbots of monasteries), they say that there is no devil.
Yes, one person also advised me to remove from the French translation of the book “St. Arsenius of Cappadocia” those places where it is said about the possessed. “Europeans,” he says, “will not understand this. They do not believe that the devil exists.” You see how: they explain everything with psychology. If evangelical demoniacs fell into the hands of psychiatrists, they would subject them to electric shock treatment! Christ deprived the devil of the right to do evil. He can do evil only if the person himself gives him the right to do so. By not participating in the Sacraments of the Church, a person gives these rights to the evil one and becomes vulnerable to demonic influence.
Geronda, how else can a person give such rights to the devil?
Reasonability, contradiction, stubbornness, self-will, disobedience, shamelessness - all this distinctive features the devil. A person becomes vulnerable to demonic influence to the extent that he has the properties listed above. However, when a person’s soul is cleansed, the Holy Spirit moves into him, and the person is filled with Grace. If a person stains himself with mortal sins, an unclean spirit enters into him. If the sins with which a person has stained himself are not mortal, then he is under the influence of an evil spirit from the outside.
Unfortunately, in our era people do not want to cut off their passions, their own self-will. They don't take advice from others. After this, they begin to speak shamelessly and drive away the Grace of God. And then a person - no matter where he steps - cannot succeed, because he has become vulnerable to demonic influences. A person is no longer himself, because the devil commands him from the outside. The devil is not inside him - God forbid! But even from the outside he can command a person.
A person abandoned by Grace becomes worse than the devil. Because the devil does not do everything himself, but incites people to evil. For example, he does not commit crimes, but he incites people to do so. And from this people become possessed.
If people at least went to their confessor and confessed, then the demonic influence would disappear, and they would be able to think again. After all, now, due to demonic influence, they are not even able to think with their heads. Repentance and confession deprive the devil of his rights over a person. Recently a sorcerer came to the Holy Mountain. With some magical pegs and nets, he blocked in one place the entire road leading to my kaliva. If a person had passed there without confessing his sins, he would have suffered, without knowing, in addition, the reason for this. Seeing these witchcraft nets on the road, I immediately made the sign of the cross and walked across them with my feet - breaking everything. Then the sorcerer himself came to the kaliva. He told me all his plans and burned his books.
The devil does not have any power or authority over a believer who goes to church, confesses, and takes communion. The devil just barks at such a person, like a toothless dog. However, he has great power over a non-believer who has given him rights over himself. The devil can bite such a person to death - in this case he has teeth and he torments the unfortunate person with them. The devil has power over the soul in accordance with the rights it gives him.
When a spiritually ordered person dies, the ascent of his soul to Heaven is like a rushing train. Barking dogs rush after the train, choking with barking, trying to run ahead, and the train keeps rushing and rushing - it will even run over some mongrel in half. If a person dies, whose spiritual state leaves much to be desired, then his soul is as if on a train that is barely crawling. He can't go faster because the wheels are faulty. Dogs jump into open carriage doors and bite people.
If the devil has acquired great rights over a person and has prevailed over him, the reason for what happened must be found so that the devil is deprived of these rights. Otherwise, no matter how much others pray for this person, the enemy does not go away. He cripples a person. The priests scold him and scold him, and in the end the unfortunate man becomes even worse, because the devil torments him more than before. A person must repent, confess, and deprive the devil of the rights that he himself gave him. Only after this the devil leaves, otherwise the person will suffer. Yes, even for a whole day, even for two days, even for weeks, months and years - the devil has rights over the unfortunate person and does not leave.
Geronda, how is it that I am enslaved to passions?
A person is enslaved to passions, giving the devil rights over himself. Throw all your passions in the devil's face. This is what God wants, and this is in your own interests. That is, turn anger, stubbornness, and similar passions against the enemy. Or, better said, sell your passions to the tangalashka (this is the nickname the elder gave to the devil), and with the proceeds, buy cobblestones and throw them at the devil so that he doesn’t even come close to you. Usually we, people, through inattention or proud thoughts, ourselves allow the enemy to do us harm. Tangalashka can use only one thought or word. I remember there was one family - very friendly. One day, the husband jokingly began to tell his wife: “Oh, I’ll divorce you!”, and the wife also jokingly said to him: “No, I’ll divorce you!” They just said that, without a second thought, but they joked to the point that the devil took advantage of it. He created a small complication for them, and they were already seriously ready for a divorce - they didn’t think about children or anything else. Fortunately, one confessor was found and talked to them. “What,” he says, “are you getting a divorce because of this stupidity?”
If a person deviates from the commandments of God, then passions fight him. And if a person has allowed passion to fight him, then the devil is not needed for this. After all, demons also have a “specialization.” They tap a person, look for where he “hurts,” strive to identify his weakness and, thus, overcome it. We must be attentive, close windows and doors - that is, our feelings. We must not leave open cracks for the evil one, not allow him to crawl inside through them. These cracks and holes are our weak points. If you leave even a small crack for the enemy, he can squeeze through and harm you. The devil enters a person who has dirt in his heart. The devil does not approach God’s pure creation. If a person’s heart is cleansed of dirt, then the enemy flees and Christ comes again. Just as a pig, not finding dirt, grunts and leaves, so the devil does not approach a heart that does not have uncleanness. And what did he forget in his pure and humble heart? So, if we see that our home - the heart - has become an enemy's dwelling - a hut on chicken legs, then we must immediately destroy it so that the tangalashka - our evil tenant - will leave. After all, if sin lives in a person for a long time, then, naturally, the devil acquires greater rights over this person.
- Geronda, if a person previously lived carelessly and thereby gave the tempter rights over himself, and now wants to improve, start living attentively, then does the tangalashka fight him?
When turning to God, a person receives from Him the strength, enlightenment and consolation necessary at the beginning of the journey. But as soon as a person begins a spiritual struggle, the enemy raises a cruel battle against him. That's when you need to show a little restraint. Otherwise, how will passions be eradicated? How will the putting off of the old man take place? How will pride go? And so a person understands that he himself, on his own, cannot do anything. He humbly asks for God's mercy, and humility comes to him. The same thing happens when a person wants to get behind bad habit- for example, from smoking, drugs, drunkenness. At first he feels joy and quits this habit. Then he sees others smoking, using drugs, drinking, and receiving much abuse. If a person overcomes this battle, then it is not difficult for him to renounce this passion and turn his back on it. We need to struggle a little and fight. Tangalashka does her job - so why aren’t we doing ours?
We all have hereditary passions, but in themselves they do not harm us. It’s the same as if a person is born, for example, with a mole on his face, which gives him special beauty. But if this mole is picked, a cancerous tumor may appear. We must not allow the devil to pick at our passions. If we allow him to pick at our weakness, then [spiritual] cancer begins in us.
One must have spiritual courage, despise the devil and all his evil thoughts - “telegrams”. Let's not start conversations with the tangalashka. Even all the lawyers in the world, if they got together, could not argue with one little devil. Stopping conversations with the tempter will greatly help you break ties with him and avoid temptations. Did something happen to us? Have we been treated unfairly? Were we scolded? Let's see if we ourselves are to blame for this. If they are not guilty, then a bribe awaits us. We need to stop here: there is no need to go deeper. If a person continues to talk with Tangalashka, then he will then weave such lace for him, arrange such a pandemonium... Tangalashka inspires to investigate what happened according to the laws of his, Tangalashka’s, “truth” and drives a person to bitterness.
I remember how Italian troops, leaving Greece, left behind tents with piles of hand grenades. And after them there were whole heaps of gunpowder left. People took these tents and what was inside for themselves. Children played with grenades, and you know how many of them, unfortunate ones, were killed! Is it possible to play with grenades? So we too - what, are we going to play with the devil with toys?
- Geronda, my thoughts tell me that the devil has enormous power, especially in our days.
The devil does not have power, but anger and hatred. God's love is omnipotent. Satan pretends to be all-powerful, but fails to play this role. He seems strong, but in reality he is completely powerless. Many of his destructive plans fall apart before they even begin. Would a father - a very good and kind one - really allow some punks to beat his children?
- And I, Geronda, am afraid of tangalashes.
Why are you afraid of them? Tangalashes have no power. Christ is omnipotent, and the devil is pure rottenness. Don't you wear a cross? The devil's weapon has no power. Christ armed us with His Cross. The enemy only has power when we ourselves lay down our spiritual weapons. There was a case when one Orthodox priest showed a small cross to a sorcerer and thereby awed the demon whom this sorcerer had summoned with his sorcery.
- Why is he so afraid of the Cross?
Because when Christ accepted spitting, strangling and beatings, then the kingdom and power of the devil were crushed. In what an amazing way Christ gained victory over him! “The power of the devil was crushed with a reed,” says one Saint. That is, the power of the devil was crushed when Christ was given the final blow to the head with a cane. Therefore, the defensive spiritual weapon against the devil is patience, and the strongest weapon against him is humility. The contrition of the devil is the most healing balm poured out by Christ during His Sacrifice on the Cross. After the Crucifixion of Christ, the devil is like a snake devoid of poison, like a dog with its teeth pulled out. The devil's poisonous power was taken away, the dogs, that is, demons, had their teeth pulled out. They are now disarmed, and we are armed with the Cross. Demons cannot do absolutely anything to God’s creation unless we ourselves give them the right to do so. All they can do is cause trouble; they have no power.
Once upon a time, living in Kaliva Holy Cross, I performed a wonderful all-night vigil! At night, many demons gathered in the attic. At first they hit something with sledgehammers with all their might, and then they began to make noise, as if they were rolling large logs of trees around the attic. I baptized the ceiling and sang: “We worship Your Cross, Master...”. When I finished singing, they started rolling the blocks again. “Now,” I told them, “we will divide into two choirs. You roll the blocks on the upper one, and I will sing here, on the lower one.” When I started singing, they stopped. I sang either “To Your Cross...” or “Lord, Thy Cross has given us weapons against the devil...”. I spent a most joyful night in psalmody. As soon as I fell silent, they continued to amuse me. And what an extensive repertoire they have! Every time they come up with something new!..
- And when you sang the troparion for the first time, didn’t they leave?
No. As soon as I finished, they entered. Apparently, it was necessary to sing the vigil in two choirs. It was a wonderful vigil. I sang with feeling! Those were wonderful days...
- Geronda, what does the devil look like?
Do you know how handsome he is? Neither can I say it in a fairy tale, nor describe it with a pen! If only you could see him!.. How [wisely] the love of God does not allow a person to see the devil! If they saw him, most would die of fear. Just think, if people saw how he acts, if they saw how “good” he is!.. True, some would make pleasant entertainment out of this. I forgot what it’s called?.. “Cinema” or what?.. However, such “film screenings” are expensive, and even despite the high price, it’s still not easy to see this.
- Does the devil have horns and a tail?
Yes, yes. And the horns, and the tail, and all the “stuff”!
- Geronda, did demons become such scarecrows after their fall, after they turned from angels into demons?
- Of course, after. Now they look like they were struck by lightning. If lightning strikes a tree, doesn't it instantly become a charred log? And now they look as if they were struck by lightning. There was a time, and I told the tangalashka: “Come so that I can see you and not fall into your clutches! Now I’m just looking at you, but I can already see how angry you are! And if I fall into your clutches, I can imagine what awaits me then!
- Geronda, does Tangalashka know what’s in our hearts?
What more! It was not enough that he knew the hearts of people. Only God knows the heart. And only to the people of God does He sometimes reveal for our good what is in our hearts. Tangalashka knows only cunning and malice, which he himself implants in those who serve him. He does not know our good intentions. Only from experience does he sometimes guess about them, but even here in most cases he fails! And if God does not allow the devil to understand something, then the tangalashka will constantly be mistaken in everything. After all, the devil is such darkness! "Visibility - zero"! Suppose I have some kind of good thought. The devil doesn't know about him. If I have an evil thought, then the devil knows it, because he himself plants it in me. If I now want to go somewhere and do a good deed, for example, save some person, then the devil does not know about it. However, if the devil himself tells a person: “Go and save so-and-so,” that is, gives him such a thought, then he himself will spur his pride and therefore will know what is in this person’s heart.
It's all very subtle. Remember the incident with Abba Macarius? One day he met the devil, who was returning from the nearby desert. He went there to tempt the monks who lived there. The devil said to Abba Macarius: “All the brethren are very cruel to me, except one of my friends, who obeys me and, when he sees me, spins like a spindle.” - "Who is this brother?" - asked Abba Macarius. “His name is Theopemptus,” answered the devil. The monk went into the desert and found this brother. Very tactfully he led him to the revelation of his thoughts and helped him spiritually. Having met the devil again, Abba Macarius asked him about the brothers living in the desert. “They are all very cruel to me,” the devil answered him. “And what’s worse is that the one who was previously my friend, I don’t know why, has changed and now he is the most cruel of all.” The devil did not know that Abba Macarius went to his brother and corrected him, because the Reverend acted humbly, out of love. The devil had no rights regarding Abba’s good thoughts. But if the Reverend had become proud, he would have driven the Grace of God away from himself, and the devil would have received these rights. Then he would have known about the Reverend's intention, because in this case the tangalashka himself would have spurred his pride.
- And if a person somewhere expressed his good thoughts, then can the devil overhear him and then tempt this person?
How can he overhear if there is nothing of the devil in what is said? However, if a person expressed his thoughts in order to be proud, then the devil will intervene. That is, if a person has a predisposition to pride and he proudly declares: “I will go and save so-and-so!”, then the devil will get involved in the matter. In this case, the devil will know about his intention, whereas if a person is motivated by love and acts humbly, then the devil does not know about it. Attention is required. This is a very delicate matter. It is not for nothing that the Holy Fathers call spiritual life “the science of sciences.”
- Geronda, however, it happens that the sorcerer predicts, for example, three girls that one will get married, the other too, but will be unhappy, and the third will remain unmarried, and this comes true. Why?
The devil has experience. For example, an engineer, seeing a house in disrepair, can tell how much longer it will stand. So the devil sees how a person lives, and from experience concludes how he will end.
The devil has no sharp mind, he is very stupid. It's all a complete mess, you can't find the end. And he behaves either like a smart person or like a fool. His tricks are clumsy work. God arranged it this way so that we could figure it out. You have to be very clouded with pride so as not to see through the devil. Having humility, we are able to recognize the devil’s snares, because with humility a person is enlightened and becomes closer to God. Humility is what makes the devil crippled.
- Geronda, why does God allow the devil to tempt us?
Then to take away His children. “Do whatever you want, devil,” says God. After all, no matter what the devil does, in the end he will still break his teeth on the cornerstone - Christ. And if we believe that Christ is the cornerstone, then we are not afraid of anything.
God does not allow a trial to happen unless something good comes out of it. Seeing that the good that will happen will be greater than the evil, God leaves the devil to do his job. Remember Herod? He killed fourteen thousand infants and replenished the heavenly army with fourteen thousand martyred angels. Have you seen martyred angels anywhere? The devil broke his teeth! Diocletian, cruelly torturing Christians, was a collaborator with the devil. But, without wanting it himself, he did good to the Church of Christ, enriching Her with saints. He thought that he would exterminate all Christians, but he achieved nothing - he only left many holy relics for us to venerate and enriched the Church of Christ.
God could have dealt with the devil long ago, because He is God. And now, if He just wants, He can twist the devil into a ram’s horn, [forever and ever] send him to hellish torment. But God does not do this for our good. Would He allow the devil to torment and torment His creation? And, however, to a certain limit, for a time, He allowed him this, so that the devil would help us with his malice, so that he would tempt us, and we would resort to God. God allows the tangalashka to tempt us only if it leads to good. If this does not lead to good, then He does not allow it. God allows everything for our good. We must believe in it. God allows the devil to do evil so that man can fight. After all, if you don’t rub it, don’t knead it, there won’t even be a roll. If the devil had not tempted us, we might have imagined ourselves to be saints. And therefore God allows him to hurt us with his malice. After all, by striking us, the devil knocks out all the rubbish from our dusty soul, and it becomes cleaner. Or God allows him to pounce and bite us so that we run to Him for help. God calls us to Himself constantly, but usually we move away from Him and resort to Him again only when we are in danger. When a person unites with God, the evil one has nowhere to squeeze in. But, besides this, God has no reason to allow the devil to tempt such a person, because He allows this so that the tempted one will be forced to resort to Him. But one way or another, the evil one does us good - he helps us become sanctified. For this reason God tolerates him.
God left not only people free, but also demons, since they do not harm and cannot harm a person’s soul, except in those cases when the person himself wants to harm his soul. On the contrary, evil or inattentive people - who, without wanting it, do us harm - are preparing retribution for us. “If there were no temptations, no one would be saved,” says one Abba. Why does he say this? Because considerable benefits come from temptations. Not because the devil would ever be capable of doing good, no - he is evil. He wants to break our heads and throws a stone at us, but the Good God... catches this stone and puts it in our hand. And in the palm of his other hand He pours nuts for us so that we can crack them with this stone and eat them! That is, God does not allow temptations so that the devil would tyrannize us. No, He allows him to tempt us so that in this way we pass exams for admission to another life and at the Second Coming of Christ we do not have excessive claims. We need to clearly understand that we are at war with the devil himself and will continue to fight with him until we leave this life. While a person is alive, he has a lot of work to do to make his soul better. As long as he is alive, he has the right to take spiritual exams. If a person dies and gets a bad mark, then he is removed from the list of examinees. There are no retakes anymore.
The good God created angels. However, out of pride, some of them fell and became demons. God created a perfect creation - man - so that he could replace the fallen angelic order. Therefore, the devil is very jealous of man, God’s creation. The demons shout: “We have committed one offense, and You tyrannize us, but You forgive people who have so many offenses on their record.” Yes, he forgives, but people repent, and the former angels fell so low that they became demons, and instead of repenting, they become more and more crafty, more and more evil. With fury they rushed to destroy God's creatures. Dennitsa was the brightest angelic rank! And what has he come to... Out of pride, demons withdrew from God thousands of years ago, and out of pride they continue to move away from Him and remain unrepentant. If they had said only one thing: “Lord, have mercy,” then God would have come up with something [to save them]. If only they had said “those who have sinned,” but they don’t say that. Having said “those who have sinned,” the devil would again become an angel. God's love is limitless. But the devil has a persistent will, stubbornness, and selfishness. He doesn't want to give in, doesn't want to be saved. This is scary. After all, he was once an angel!
- Geronda, does the devil remember his previous state?
You're still asking! He is [all] fire and fury, because he does not want others to become angels, those who will take his former place. And the further it goes, the worse it gets. He develops in anger and envy. Oh, if only a person could feel the state in which the devil is! He would cry day and night. Even when some a kind person changes for the worse, becomes a criminal, I really feel sorry for him. What can you say if you see the fall of an angel!
One day a monk felt very pained for the demons. Kneeling down, prostrate, he prayed to God in the following words: “You are God, and if You want, You can find a way to save these unfortunate demons, who at first had such great glory, and now possess all the malice and deceit of the world, and if not for Your intercession, they would destroy everyone of people". The monk prayed in pain. As he uttered these words, he saw next to him the face of a dog, which stuck out its tongue at him and mimicked him. Apparently, God allowed this, wanting to inform the monk that He was ready to accept demons if only they would repent. But they themselves do not want their own salvation. Look - Adam's fall was healed by the coming of God to earth, the Incarnation. But the fall of the devil cannot be healed by anything other than his own humility. The devil does not correct himself because he does not want to. Do you know how glad Christ would be if the devil wanted to correct himself! And a person does not correct himself only if he does not want it himself.
- Geronda, so what - the devil knows that God is Love, knows that He loves him, and, despite this, continues his work?
How he doesn’t know! But will his pride allow him to reconcile? And besides this, he is also cunning. Now he is trying to gain the whole world. “If I have more followers,” he says, “then eventually God will be forced to spare all His creatures, and I will also be included in this plan!” So he believes. Therefore, he wants to attract as many people as possible to his side. See where he's going with this? “There are so many people on my side,” he says, “God will be forced to show mercy to me too!” [He wants to be saved] without repentance! But didn't Judas do the same thing? He knew that Christ would free the dead from hell. “I’ll go to hell before Christ,” said Judas, “so that He will free me too!” Do you see how deceitful it is? Instead of asking Christ for forgiveness, he stuck his head in the noose. And look, God’s mercy bent the fig tree on which he hanged himself, but Judas [not wanting to stay alive] pulled his feet under him so that they would not touch the ground. And all this in order not to say a single “sorry.” How scary it is! Likewise, the devil, who stands at the head of egoism, does not say “those who have sinned,” but endlessly struggles to win as many people as possible over to his side.
Humility has great power. Out of humility, the devil crumbles to dust. It is the most powerful shock blow to the devil. Where there is humility, there is no place for the devil. And if there is no place for the devil, therefore, there are no temptations. Once, one ascetic forced a Tangalash woman to say “Holy God...”. "Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal!" - the tangalashka rattled and stopped there, he didn’t say “have mercy on us.” - “Say, “Have mercy on us!” Where there! If he said these words, he would become an angel. Tangalashka can say whatever you want, except “have mercy on us,” because humility is necessary to pronounce these words. In the petition " have mercy on us" is humility - and the soul asking for God’s great mercy accepts what it asks for.
Whatever we do, humility, love, nobility are necessary. It’s so simple - we complicate [our spiritual life] ourselves. We will, as far as possible, complicate the life of the devil and make the life of man easier. Love and humility are difficult for the devil and easy for man. Even a weak, sickly person who does not have the strength for asceticism can defeat the devil through humility. A person can turn into an angel or a tangalashka in one minute. How? Humility or pride. Did it really take long for Dennitsa to turn from an angel into a devil? His fall happened in a few moments. The easiest way to be saved is love and humility. Therefore, we need to start with love and humility, and only then move on to the rest.
Pray to Christ that we will constantly please Him and upset the tangalashka, if he likes hellish torment so much and does not want to repent.
