Some ex-husbands become friends with their ex-wife's new family. Naturally, it is customary for such people to congratulate each other on holidays.
Retro romance: how to write a letter to the man you love
Today, people are accustomed to communicating using text messages or online messages. Paper letters are rapidly becoming a thing of the past. But under New Year It’s nice to remember traditions and create a beautiful message.
But no one but you can adequately assess your relationship with your ex-lover. Whether to continue or stop communicating with him depends not only on your feelings, but also on some factors. For example, common children.
Focus on the situation
If, for example, you and a man had problems in your relationship and you decided to just take a break from each other, then there is nothing wrong with wishing him a Happy New Year, birthday or other holiday. This can also become a neutral reason to test the waters, remind yourself, and resume communication. Of course, if that's what you want.
It's not often that ex-husband and wife remain friends. But even an unpleasant divorce is not a reason to completely sever ties with a person with whom you have a common child. If your ex-husband or boyfriend is very unpleasant to you, but is your child’s beloved dad, it’s enough to just formally congratulate him via SMS.
Consider its current status
Sometimes ex-spouses get over the separation easily and maintain good relationships. In this case, there is nothing wrong with congratulating your ex-husband. You just need to keep in mind his own attitude towards you, as well as the fact that he has a family. If his new life partner is too jealous or dislikes you, you should not test her patience. Communicate with your ex-husband only as much as necessary to maintain a good relationship for the sake of the child.
Whether to congratulate a man after a breakup will be determined by your own feelings to this person. Perhaps you hate him so much that you don’t even want to contact him again. Nobody has the right to tell you here. But still try to save face during forced meetings.
Use the occasion
If, on the contrary, despite the breakup, you are still in love with your ex-boyfriend or husband, you should be even more careful with congratulations. There are various possible scenarios for the development of events: he also still loves you. By congratulating him on the holiday, you can start a casual conversation and hint to him about your feelings.
It may be that ex-spouse already married and happy in his new family. Then it’s better not to congratulate him on any holidays, so as not to inflame your feelings towards a person who doesn’t care about you.
Don't avoid
Sometimes contact with your ex is inevitable, regardless of whether you like him or not. For example, if he is your boss or subordinate. It would be stupid to break away from the team and pointedly refuse to congratulate.
At least once a year you have to congratulate ex-husband happy birthday if he is your employee. If this is unpleasant for you, assign another colleague to express the wishes of the entire team. If you have a normal relationship with him, there is nothing wrong with personally congratulating him over the phone or at a meeting. Especially if he congratulates you.
I wish you from the bottom of my heart to learn to appreciate what you have, to learn to see only what is real, beautiful and truly necessary. May this year bring you what you desire and what you truly deserve. Let there be less negativity in your life, and more sincerity and kindness. Happy New Year!
This happens: paths diverge, people go their own ways. Even if our two roads did not unite into one, I know that you will find true happiness, your corner and your soul mate, who would give you joy with her warmth, her amazing, unearthly smile and tender care. I congratulate you on the New Year and wish you to quickly find what you are looking for. Happy holiday!
Let all our grievances remain in the past, and even though we are no longer together, I want to congratulate you on the New Year. You can achieve your goal and find the key to your happiness. I wish you to walk confidently through new days the coming year, collecting moments of fun and moments of joy!
Happy New Year! Thank you for being in my life. May everything be fine with you and may you find peace and happiness. I wish you good health and I wish you to find yours life path!
Happy New Year! I wish that in the new year your dreams come true, your expectations are met, every day brings bright moments and fulfillment of desires. I wish you to find your soul mate and be truly happy!
You and I are not together anymore
This is my fault
I still miss you very much
It's winter in my soul without you.
I said it before, I know:
I won't write anymore.
Happy New Year,
Find your destiny!
Be happy and successful
Always be okay
And I want to say honestly
What else do I love you!
I want to congratulate you on the New Year and wish you happiness! Let every step and action you take be justified, everything that is done will truly be for the better and there will be many wonderful moments in life!
Congratulations to you, my ex, once beloved person. I wish you courageous actions in the new year, brave deeds and great goals, I wish you good health, respect from friends and true happiness in life.
Happy New Year with a new happiness,
Happy new life without me!
Let your bad weather go away
And the dream will come true!
Let everything be as you want,
Nearby is the one that is so needed,
I wish you joy, peace,
It's a pity that I'm not for you!
It's a pity that happiness didn't work out,
That love has left us,
Let everything be as it happened.
I wish you magic!
We broke up with you, it just so happened
You are evil, I beg you, don’t hold it,
With a pure soul, without resentment
Enter the New Year with ease.
Let everything turn out well,
May the whole year be happy,
Let new love and joy
It will bring you plenty.
I wish you from the bottom of my heart
Big and significant victories,
I'll thank you for everything,
I wish not to know the troubles in life.
You remember him more and more often, you want to see or at least learn something about your ex. Or, on the contrary, you don’t want to, but he doesn’t leave your sight, although it’s clear to everyone that you broke up. Is it worth congratulating him on the New Year and what is the best way to do it? Especially if you feel that the relationship may resume? Here's what psychologists write about it.
You quarreled and he left
You just recently loved each other, but he left, but the feelings remained. New Year is very soon and you want to congratulate him and remind him of yourself. But are you tormented by doubts whether it is worth doing it or not? What if he takes this for intrusiveness or responds rudely?
If you recently broke up, there is nothing wrong with wishing him a Happy New Year. But it’s important to do it in such a way that he doesn’t think that you want to return what was. If he left you recently, but not for another girl, it’s better not to remind him of yourself until your feelings have cooled down. You will be able to congratulate him only next year, when your feelings have subsided. And if he has a passion, it is better to send him a neutral message or postcard in social networks, wishing you good luck and joy in the New Year.
He left you for her, but explained everything
If this happened on New Year's Eve, it is better not to remind yourself. While he is carried away by new feelings, he will have no time for you. In addition, he will be afraid of your possible hysterics and attempts to return the relationship, so communicating with you will stress him out for some time. Only if he finds out that you are happy in your personal life and do not perceive his departure as a tragedy, will he respond adequately to your New Year congratulations. But in the near future it is better not to remind him of himself at all.
You left him, but he still loves
In this case, even an innocent New Year’s greeting can give him hope for reconciliation. Then he may behave completely differently than you expect and continue trying to reconcile. It is better to congratulate him when he arranges his personal life, in about a year. And before, it’s better not to remind yourself.
If you broke up more than a year ago
Whatever the reason, this is a great reason to make peace. A man will enjoy old memories, provided that you want to have a romantic evening or meet with him and old friends. If you really let go of the situation and accepted any development of events, it’s worth reminding him of yourself. But if you want to return him or are pursuing your goal, the man will definitely feel it and he is unlikely to be pleased with such a meeting. If you feel guilty, during the conversation you can unobtrusively show that you realized your mistake and apologize. But if the relationship is more complex, it is better not to remember the bad, but simply enjoy the upcoming holiday together.
And if you didn’t congratulate him at all, should you wish him a Happy New Year yourself?
Why didn't he invite me to New Year's? Why is he celebrating without me? After all, we have been dating for a month (or two, or six months, or even more). Many women ask this question on the eve of New Year's Eve. And some even on the very eve - because their “subject” not only refused to merge in the ecstasy of the most family-friendly of holidays, but remained silent until December 31st... And then he vilely procrastinated! And now you are in tears and alone with the Christmas tree...
What could be the reason for such deceit and what to do about it? - advises psychologist and psychic Sergei Lang.
Of course, the relationship within each couple cannot be measured with a common yardstick. But there are general points.
Let's start with the reasons why your partner, without explanation (or even without warning), refuses to share the New Year's celebration with you. There are six of them - starting with the most banal and anecdotal, and ending with the one for which you yourself are most likely to blame:
1. He is not free, but does not want it to become known. (There is one weak, but plus: if he doesn’t admit it, it means he still has further plans for you)
2. You don’t like you (don’t fit in, etc.) in his social circle (family), but he plans to celebrate the New Year with friends from this circle (family). (There are practically no advantages here - you are in the background for him and this is unlikely to change, so try to start forgetting him right when the chimes strike).
3. He doesn’t like to give gifts, but for the New Year it is necessary. (There are no advantages - with jading, which is not capable of even an inexpensive but pleasant surprise in New Year's Eve, happy life you won't build it!)
4. Obliges: he always meets NG with his parents, but he is not yet ready to introduce you to them. Or he is not yet ready to meet yours, but you invited him to your family - and he had no choice but to silently merge. He couldn't have said that! (It’s a small plus, but it’s there - maybe someday it will be ready?)
He's just using you, but NG together is already serious. And, having avoided this event, you can later, if anything happens, say: “Can our adulterous affair really be called a serious relationship? We haven’t even met a single NG together!” (It is clear that there are no advantages in this situation and cannot be!)
Or maybe it was you who applied some of the above to your partner - you invited him to a company where he felt out of place; to the house of his parents, who show no sympathy for him; to a noisy club, knowing that he likes quiet places and does not like to dance and sing karaoke; proposed some expensive event, without thinking about whether the partner had enough funds for it - after all, public place, How a real man, he will have to pay not only for himself, but also for you. And for your friends - if you carelessly invited him to a women’s company, and even to an expensive event.
All this suggests that you yourself showed insensitivity to your gentleman and he had no choice but to disappear or pretend to be sick. (The disadvantages here are all yours, and the only plus is that it’s not too late to improve).
What to do?
First of all, give yourself first holiday help - if he has not already arrived and clearly will not come, do not think about him at least until January 1st. You should not immediately think about revenge, be jealous or cause jealousy, get angry, cry - put it all off until the new year.
Remember that you will spend New Year’s Eve the same way you meet it - and don’t spoil the whole next year, but just think about how you would like to celebrate this holiday so that you have fun and good.
Personally, if I were the one or the one who (no matter for what reason) was left alone on the eve of the holiday, I would try to spend it in such a way that it would become unforgettable for me - with family, friends, in a cheerful and noisy company, where they love me and wait for me. The first thing you need to do is “switch off” from thoughts about the “insidious traitor” until the end of the holiday night. Tell yourself the words of Scarlett O'Hara: “I'll think about it tomorrow!” And it’s important, after drinking a glass or two, not to start calling him with congratulations and invitations, trying to get him to come to you! Remember: if he hasn’t come yet, it means that he either has insurmountable obstacles to this (which your persistent invitations do not correct), or he simply doesn’t want to. But force, as they say, will not be nice.
But reason No. 6 still requires not haste, but thoughtful reflection - and therefore its solution can calmly wait for the first day of the year.
But on January 1, you will still have to do something with your feelings and resentment. But what? Ask directly why? Go to a party with mutual friends and do everything possible to make him jealous? Should I congratulate you on the upcoming event or not? Is it even necessary in life to pursue a person who doesn’t want to spend New Year’s Eve with you?
I think that all these questions are completely meaningless if we are dealing with reasons 1 to 5. Your partner clearly acts as he sees fit, and he does not really care what you think and feel. Sure, you might make him jealous (or angry, or resentfully) in the short term, but in the long run, this will only prolong the painful uncertainty in your relationship.
But before answering the question “What to do?” Regarding reason No. 6, carefully analyze whether you yourself made any mistakes in organizing the New Year’s leisure activities that you would like to see together?
In the case of reason #6, the main thing for you is to fix the problem why he chose not to be around you on the biggest night of the year. And if your fault is discovered, honestly and clearly admit your mistake and promise to improve.
And in the case of reasons 1-5 - just understand that he is not ready yet - and then if you change anything, it will be to the detriment of yourself. You can either let things take their course, or try to start new life- and new love.
That is why, whatever the real reason his absence, starting from January 1, it makes no sense for you to pretend that “I didn’t really want to.” On the contrary, it’s worth making it clear: it’s unpleasant for you that you were apart on New Year’s Eve, and you want to know why? After all, this was really important to you, wasn’t it? And a demonstrative absence or refusal to celebrate the holiday together on this particular night is a certain, as diplomacy puts it, “protocol of intent.” And to avoid cold war and hot conflicts, it is better to immediately clarify these intentions. You don’t want to suffer for another whole year, do you?
And if instead of your insensitivity his cunning and manipulation are revealed, make yourself New Year's gift- say out loud - firmly, loudly and openly: “I don’t need a person who didn’t want to celebrate the New Year with me not for a good reason, but simply because he didn’t want to!”
And then in the New Year you will certainly have a chance to find a real relationship and celebrate the next holiday as a happy couple, with one Christmas tree for two.
What if BD is traveling and he doesn’t give anything? No flowers, no little surprise - just a kiss on the cheek in the morning and the words “Happy Birthday”? It seems like in this situation you can’t go anywhere without seeing or hearing him...
Author, why are you doing this? Your method suggests a passive-aggressive model of behavior in which the partner is motivated by external pressure. The result of this approach is a gift + discomfort in the relationship, the likelihood of looking materialistic and stereotypical, growth or breakup. Don't mislead the inexperienced! Initiative in relationships is negotiable! For example: figure out why your partner does this, tell him how you feel and why this is important to you. Do you give gifts to your partner yourself? What does he think about this? Build together a mutually acceptable model of initiative behavior. Make sure your partner understands your feelings, and you understand his. And solving problems for boycotts only wastes time and causes harm life together. I liked the quote from the post “When will a tormented man plead” to torture, humiliate and manipulate this decision? Shame and shame
RV, wow, what kind of illusions are you living under? Well, good luck to you 🙄
I was away on my birthday, I almost begged for a gift after 1.5-2 months! I couldn’t calm down and was constantly talking about how it was like this, it’s the 25th anniversary, but there’s zero attention! in his words, “so what, 25! If only it were 50! and in general, it will be a lesson that we should celebrate nearby, and not somewhere!??” as if I abandoned him and the children and basked on the beach with my friend, and I visited my grandfather with my mother!!! It’s very disappointing to see such inattention and attitude!
Yes! I just brought a postcard to the DR. She showed that she was upset. He got angry. Since then, gifts are a sore subject and I remain silent, and he brings them every other time...
We’ve been dating for a year, during which time three holidays have already passed: on my birthday he gave 5000₽ and flowers, and paid for the restaurant where we had dinner. He didn’t give anything to him, on February 14 I was also left without a gift... in the end, after a few days March 8th... I expressed my dissatisfaction to him, starting with the fact that he didn’t give me anything! Of course, he argued this by saying that I don’t appreciate what he does for me, and that gifts are all bullshit! This conversation led to us breaking up! As a result, after a few hours he started calling and saying, let’s return everything back, I’ll correct myself and you’ll get gifts! that is, I realized my mistake only when I felt the fear of losing me! So I’m waiting for March 8th, let’s see what he brings!
On March 8th, my ex spent the whole day driving around the city, congratulating all his mothers, his grandmothers and the like, deciding all sorts of his own affairs... and then we met with him for 10 days, I didn’t know how he usually behaves on holidays. At the same time, I was wondering all day: “What are you doing? How do you feel?". I thought she was preparing a surprise, since she was behaving so mysteriously. I thought, well, I’ll definitely see you on such a day! In the end... nothing. Well, I threw a tantrum, what the hell, why am I in last place?? Offended...
Late in the evening there were gorgeous flowers and a big pizza. But how many tears did these fucking flowers cost me? Now I understand that the one who loves will not be so harsh and will congratulate you first of all. I should have left him immediately))
my boyfriend is a foreigner and European, he always tries to give gifts and doesn’t forget! but for example, March 8 is not a holiday for him, they don’t celebrate it, although I remind him of it, he doesn’t give me a gift, he just congratulates me in words.
but it happened that on my birthday he gave me a trip, then in the end he went with his parents and could not take me, he said that we would go to another place wherever I wanted, and in the end he forgot about it. I had to remind him and 2 months after my birthday we just went out of town to ski, he paid for everything.
I chose the gift, he gave it. But only on birthdays, on Christmas, in Germany this is the main holiday and not the New Year, they did not give each other gifts.
I say in advance what gift and what flowers I want to receive for a particular holiday;)
always asked what I wanted, because I knew that if I didn’t like the gift, my mood would be 0. Well, he knows how to choose gifts
constantly
a common occurrence, leave without a gift
There was a story about my birthday... a week before, my MCH went to visit his parents in another city. He calls from there, asking what to give as a gift. I was pleased with such care, I said that I don’t want to cook on my holiday, I want to go to a restaurant, flowers and someone to prepare a little surprise for me, anyone. Well, a logical continuation was planned. He accepted everything and agreed. I'm looking forward to)))
A couple of days later he calls: “you know, I thought... let’s go to the store, buy food for the table, cook delicious meat for me, dress nicely and meet me. And this is how we will spend the day, and in the evening we might go to your restaurant.” I thought he was joking)))) I refused, of course, they both laughed and that was it.
The day before he called again, only now he offers all this in all seriousness. He did not accept the answer NO. I freaked out, we had a fight. This was extremely offensive to me. He said, don’t wait, I won’t come. I didn't expect it))
Saturday, a sad holiday, I’m alone... Minding my own business.
I come home and he greets me with flowers. Unexpectedly... I’m from the city, not in the parade... but I thanked you for the flowers, although everything was bubbling inside, that I decided to get off with flowers... I poured coffee. We sat and talked about neutral things. He left.
Subsequently, he often reproached me for ruining the holiday, for not greeting him properly and not setting the table. And he arrived with flowers like a knight and waited for the reception.
Antonina, I would break up with him after that for sure! Even reading this story I felt offended!??
Emily Abdoo, yes, that’s how it happened :-) I left him after that. I still have a storm of emotions when I think about it))
On the eve of Valentine's Day, I asked my husband to give me a bouquet of red roses and a scarf. He gave me a scarf, but no flowers... I was stunned and almost burst into tears (I restrained myself so as not to spoil the evening..)
Ekaterina Sviderskaya, in vain)
Yes, this happened to me more than once with my common-law husband. In my family, gifts were given to the cult. I always gave gifts on holidays and without. But he doesn't. Or just flowers for a birthday. I was a zero and swallowed everything.
Then she became coy and said that gifts are important to me and I don’t understand how you can leave me without a gift on March 8th, for example. She said that this makes me very sad and now I always write a list of what I want or say in advance. And I receive the gift on time.
But the man was sobered by the situation on the verge of breaking up the relationship. Of course, not because of the gift, but I also remembered about gifts then) and reminded me more than once)
My husband gives flowers and gifts. But there were moments when I didn’t give anything, and here it was probably my own fault. Everyone asked me what I wanted, and so did he, but I: I don’t want anything! Well, as they say, if a fascist gets a grenade, it’s okay, it’s okay!
And recently, on Mother’s Day, he and his daughter went to buy flowers, and there was a line about a kilometer long, so they didn’t even bother standing...? This is how I was left without flowers on such a holiday. Offended
It was 50/50 I could give money for an expensive gift... but I don’t give flowers... apparently I didn’t want to spend an extra minute of time on me
Yes, this is not the first holiday that this has happened to me, and on seemingly significant dates for both of us, for example, the date of the beginning of our life together (honestly, I don’t even remember it, I don’t congratulate it, but I myself would like to hear congratulations and receive a surprise). On Valentine's Day this year, not a gift, let alone a verbal greeting. It was something like this, I wrote an SMS - something like Happy Valentine's Day, to which I received an answer - Happy Holidays.?. My resentment knew no bounds, when I came home from work I was still waiting for at least a rose, but no, nothing happened. Of course, I was offended and pouted. He asked what was the matter, and I said that I was expecting congratulations. He said that he was not so quick-witted, but in general this was not a holiday for him. That's it, and of course he got away with it once again.
knyazeva1006 Knyazeva, my husband said that the 14th is the day of sexual minorities and there is nothing to celebrate it (although he gladly ate the festive dinner and pie
Luiza Alimova, I wouldn’t allow anyone to touch the festive cake and food))) I would say that I prepared it for sexual minorities))) Or I would throw it in the trash ☺️
Jamila, bravo! ??????????
happened((((ended up communication
Yes. happened more than once. You systematically miss my b.b. despite all my conversations and requests and to him on his birthday. I’m throwing a party - I’m saying what I want. In the end, I raked away what he didn’t like from what I had prepared for him.
my husband always makes excuses, he didn’t have time, he didn’t know what to give you. Or I don’t have money for what you want, and there’s no point in giving anything else. He always pretends that my birthday came very unexpectedly, he simply did not have time to prepare, right now he has no money (this happens every year), although I always say that in a year I will have D, R. again and I need to prepare in advance...does this make me really angry? This year, on D, R. Day, he waited until I woke up (it was already 10-11 o’clock, it fell on a weekend) and only after that he went for a gift (did he hope that I wouldn’t wake up??) and what do you think he was gone for 3 hours (it turns out he still came to get a haircut?) In the end, he brought me a bouquet of flowers, one Cinnabon (pie) and a teddy bear... and I was no longer 15 or 18, but 29 years old... and I I wanted a watch...
