We unanimously decided that we would continue the pregnancy. A son was born. My wife naturally had no time for me. And somehow, unnoticed by myself, I became involved in various types of online dating. I cheated on my wife, I won’t hide it. I did this more than once or twice, but my wife only knows about one case. Before this, I always managed to get out of it. When she found out, she kicked me out with my things. I lived with my parents for several days. Believe it or not, it was such a shock for me, as if a scale had been lifted from my eyes. I realized that I love my wife and son and want to save the family. Somehow I managed to beg forgiveness from my wife and since then I haven’t even thought about cheating. All this happened in October. It's January now. After that, they lived with their wife until mid-December. And they confessed their love to each other and that was it. And they swore too. I promised her to change and I keep my word, I try to be more affectionate with her, I give her the opportunity to take a break from everyday life (I work, and my wife takes care of the child. He will soon be 2 years old). At that time, my wife finished her second studies, I took a vacation to look after the child. In mid-December, she and the child went to her parents. When I saw her off everything was fine, at first they called each other everything was fine, but on December 31 I called her and felt something was wrong in the intonation. Some kind of indifference. I asked what happened, she answered, in general, that she didn’t love me and wanted to file for divorce. During our subsequent telephone conversations with her, she said that she wanted to go nowhere. That the child will remain with her in any case. And many other things that made my hair stand on end. I asked her a question, but we lived well these three months. She responded to this that it was an attempt to return everything, and after leaving she realized that she did not love me. I do not know what to do. I told her about my feelings, but she is not comfortable talking about this topic on the phone. I was going to go, but didn’t do it; I decided that the family’s current expenses were more important. After 6 days she arrives with her son. He says we'll talk. I tried to convey to her over the phone that I needed to think about the child, she said, “What about my happiness?” I am ready to do anything for them, for the sake of the family. I know that in many ways I am guilty before her and before my son. I don’t want to get a divorce, when I imagine our son, how bad it will be for him, I immediately get a lump in my throat. I am very afraid that in the conversation that will take place upon arrival, I will not be able to convince her to save the family. On the phone she said she wouldn't fight. I said I would. I don't know what to do here. I am ready for any options, as long as there is no divorce. Awareness of the value of family does not come immediately, but it does come. I love her very much, but it’s as if she was simply replaced. Tell me how to behave during a conversation, what to do if I can’t convince her? And how to save a family if this is possible?
Many families are faced with the loss of mutual feelings - years pass life together, love dissolves, sensitivity and attention are erased, and everyday life turns into a second job, filled with responsibilities and claims. Less sensitive men are not able to notice changes in their wife’s behavior, because outwardly she smiles, performs usual actions, listens, but inside her a plan for a future life without him has long been matured. How to get your wife back later?
Men are focused on making money, public opinion is important to them, social status. They forget to give the wives they have already achieved with warmth, care, and manifestations of love. This is considered the norm of behavior, so the male sex is not able to notice the beginning of problems - they immediately have to face the consequences in the form of “I was abandoned and betrayed.” How to return your wife's love? There’s definitely no point in shouting and blaming her - you need to calm down and consider the situation.
Causes
Why did the wife stop loving? Why did you cool down, if everything is fine? In fact, feelings do not go away suddenly. This must be preceded by a certain push - frequent scandals, financial difficulties, heavy losses. The main reason why a woman stops loving her husband is the routine of life - monotony can kill even the strongest feelings.
On the one hand, it’s wonderful to wake up together, have breakfast together, and watch your favorite movies in the evenings. But on the other hand, regularly performing the same actions leads to irritability and negativity. Spouses get so used to it that they become a burden, not a soul mate. A woman needs shocks, surprises, unusual actions so that she feels those “butterflies in her stomach” and understands “they love me.” She is still dear to her husband, and he is ready to surprise and conquer her. Men who take care of their women never have the question “how to get their beloved wife back”?
Men will say that they are tired after work, they have neither the time nor the desire to be romantic, because after some 10-12 hours they will have to go to the office and work again. All they can think about is “they don’t feel sorry for me, they don’t appreciate me.” But other halves do not need daily manifestations of care - it’s enough to come up with something interesting or at least unusual for the family once every 2 months, and she definitely won’t have any thoughts of leaving her husband.
The situation is similar in intimate relationships - monotony will kill even sexual attraction. If the scenario is repeated every time, sooner or later the woman will not stand it. Neglect of a spouse is also the cause of missing feelings - if on weekends a man behaves selfishly, strives to meet with friends, play computer games or do other “own things”, then there is no doubt that in the near future the wife will either immediately report that she has fallen out of love, or scandals will begin. Your loved one should be included in your weekend plans. Nobody limits your freedom, you can alternate between relaxing with your family and relaxing with friends, but the regular absence of your husband leads to indifference.
How to understand that love is gone?
What are the signs that she has truly fallen out of love with her husband? Please note a few points:
- A woman refuses sex.
- She communicates with other men and is interested in their successes. In this case, the presence of physical betrayal is not necessary.
- Change of priorities - her husband is no longer interesting to her, she prefers to meet with friends, go to the movies herself, make plans on her own.
There are also secondary signs:
- I stopped hiding my shortcomings;
- Often unreasonably jealous;
- Irritated for any reason;
- Ignores her husband's presence;
- Became selfish, rude;
- I stopped cooking food and taking care of the house;
- No longer advised in making important decisions.
These are the main signs of indifference on the part of a woman - how to behave if at least one of the points arises in a relationship? You should take action before love fades away completely!
What to do?
How to return your wife's love? Many men mistakenly believe that it is enough to make a substantial gift, for example, buy a car or expensive jewelry. However, women notice not the amount of money spent on them, but the units of attention given to her. Gave flowers for no reason - plus one, invited to the cinema - another plus, got up earlier and made coffee - another plus. Small actions are remembered by women much more firmly than monetary gifts.
But what to do if your wife has fallen out of love and is determined to leave? Or does my wife say she doesn't love me anymore? It is unlikely that in such a situation she will want to go to a concert or a romantic walk in the park. The critical moment has come, and you need to act quickly, thinking through every step.
Sure ways
How to return your wife's love if you know for sure that you are ready to fight for it? Use the right ways to help improve your relationship:
- The most effective way to solve a problem is a frank conversation. You should choose a moment when both partners are calm and have free time, and just discuss the situation. Try to analyze the relationship together and find the reason why it deteriorated. It is important that the conversation does not develop into another scandal.
- When the wife left and said that the reason for this was a specific action, and the man knows which one, he will have to apologize. You can make amends by organizing a surprise that she will definitely like. If we are talking about betrayal, then perhaps she will never forgive, but you have to try.
- If your wife has fallen out of love, then she needs to fall in love again! Help around the house, decisive actions, interest in her life and what is happening at work will make her understand that her husband is still the best.
- In order for a wife who has fallen out of love to return, you need to call her for a conversation and listen to all the complaints and criticism without interrupting. The main thing is to find out what exactly doesn’t suit you, so that you can then think about your actions and understand whether the man is ready to change and return her.
- Parting - indeed, if she has fallen out of love, give her the opportunity to live alone. During this time, both will comprehend life alone, and later they will be able to decide whether to get together again or not.
- Help from a specialist - advice from a psychologist during consultations saves 60% of couples. If she says she doesn't want to visit similar sessions, which means you need to independently study the information on this topic, personally go to the reception and try to do everything possible to improve the relationship.
- If no one wants to behave differently, concessions are a psychological barrier for both parties, mutual alienation is felt, then it’s time to part ways forever. It's easier to break up than constantly quarrel.
How to get your wife back? Change everything! If previously a man behaved like an absolute egoist and did not pay attention to his beloved, now he must show understanding. There is no need to constantly remind her of her shortcomings; it is important to listen to the woman, help and support her. After all, you won’t be able to get your wife back if you promise her absolutely new life, changing only for a few days. Next time she will leave again, and most likely forever.
Keep or accept?
How to save a family if your wife stops loving you? Before answering this question, a man needs to understand whether he wants to return his wife who has fallen out of love? At this stage of life, there are two options for the development of events - to fight for the love of the person you value, or to accept the situation and, as if nothing had happened, start searching new woman. When abandoning your spouse, you should evaluate the entire period of your life together, remember how it all began, how you cope with everyday issues, with raising children. Think about how your wife treats you, how much attention she shows.
If the couple really a good relationship, there are no special scandals, and there is no talk of betrayal, which means there is something to restore. But when spouses are suffering together, constantly making mutual claims, then perhaps it is worth gaining willpower by taking this step - getting a divorce. However, you can separate at any time, so any psychologist will advise you to first try to reconcile.
“My wife says she doesn’t love her, what should I do now?” - you ask a question on the Internet. You are very lucky that you discovered our site, since the advice and recommendations for action that are in this article are based on the practice of the most famous and professional doctors - psychologists. So, any psychologist who is called upon to help you cope with the situation, if you come to him for help, will advise you not to waste time and get your wife back.
Of course, it may seem to you that this is impossible. But it’s not for nothing that there is such a science in the world as psychology, which deals with the study of emotions, a person’s mental balance and relationships between people.
Any practicing expert will tell you that you can easily change the situation and get your wife back. And not only to return, but also to make her fall in love with you again as a girl, so that she still asks you not to leave!
How to do it? There are instructions for correct, step-by-step behavior that will lead you to your goal.
First and foremost What you need to do when your wife says she doesn’t love you anymore is not to panic. Yes, hearing this from a loved one is very unpleasant and very painful for a man’s pride. But don’t forget about the mitigating factors that may well exist in your situation:
- The wife is now confused. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn’t know how to rehabilitate your marriage, so she simply decides to break ties with you, because breaking off a relationship with a person is much easier than admitting your mistakes and working on them;
- “I love - I don’t love” - these are emotions inside a person. Just as the emotion in your wife has disappeared, you can revive it again if you have the desire for it;
- She definitely won’t be able to just push you out of her life, because you had a common story of love, marriage, and everyday life. All this is not forgotten in one day, which means it is still preserved. Today it’s just a connection, but tomorrow it’s strong feelings. Born again.
Therefore, do not be afraid that she will completely disappear from your life and do not become hysterical. Make every effort to meet this blow with dignity, calmly and maintaining self-respect. Your task is to emerge even from this seemingly humiliating situation as a winner. Maintain self-respect in her eyes, and most importantly in yours. Then you will have a chance to return both her love and her affection.
Second, what you need to do is give your wife leeway and distance. Most likely she will offer to live separately for some time. So, don’t cling to her, don’t try to logically prove to her that it’s more profitable for you to stay together, and don’t hold on to a person who wants freedom.
No. You must convince yourself that you can live calmly without her, and your life will not end even in the worst scenario of your relationship. This will give you the opportunity to communicate with her at ease, positively and as constructively as possible.
Does she want to live separately? This is good. Distance between people often benefits both of them. Firstly, your negative emotions from the current situation will subside significantly, and secondly, you will not see each other, which means you will begin to miss each other. Give your wife the opportunity to start missing you and want to see you herself.
Third What is recommended to do in such a situation is to let it go. Have you not noticed such a funny paradox of life: when you hold on to something very strongly or want something, it just doesn’t come into your hands. As soon as you let it go and devalue it, it comes to you. In life, this paradox works like clockwork: let go of your situation with your wife. Give yourself the opportunity to live something other than this negativity that was in your life Lately. Give yourself the opportunity to relax and switch to something else, more positive, joyful and happy.
Take on new projects. Remember what you have long dreamed of and start moving towards your goals, travel, meet new people and get to know new countries. In a word, do everything possible so as not to sit still and not be “loaded” with sad thoughts. The whirlpool of events and life will very quickly redirect you to another, more positive direction. You won't have time to sit and think at night about how sad you are alone when you know that you have a plane to Thailand at 6 am. Live, don't live your days. Focus on yourself and your self-development. Then you yourself won’t notice how all the negativity from your relationship with the woman you love will fade into the background. Take care of yourself and gain strength to fight for your wife.
Fourth What you need to do is to establish friendly, non-binding communication with your wife. She should know that you are no longer angry with her, and especially not going to “grind” and talk through your problems 1000 times. Moreover, you are not strangers, and you are always ready to come to her aid if she needs it.
On the other hand, she herself decided that you should live separately, so that’s what you do - live separately and have your own life. You don’t put pressure on her, don’t run after her and don’t make her hysterical. You just live.
Then your relationship will turn from difficult to friendly and positive again. And this is already a step towards new love.
Fifth- let her know what you need. Yes, don’t be afraid to tell a person about your feelings, let your wife know that you need her, but at the same time, you yourself won’t be lost. Tell your spouse that you are ready to start all over again when she is ready for it.
How do you do this? You need to work through emotions such as panic, fear of the unknown and fear of losing her forever. It's all just in your head. Once you get rid of fear, you will be able to easily communicate with your wife and openly tell her about your feelings.
So, if we draw a short conclusion from our article, then in a situation where the wife says that she does not love, you should not immediately panic. Be sure to calm down and realize that you can always return her if you have such a desire.
To do this you need:
- Calm down.
- Give her freedom of action, do not hold on to her and do not put pressure on her.
- Let her go and live separately.
- Take care of yourself and only yourself.
- Over time, establish friendly communication with her and offer a helping hand.
- Tell her directly about your desires and pursue her if she gives another chance.
How to make a wife love her husband? She said she didn’t love her, she stopped loving her.
Life, life... How similar she is to women! It’s not for nothing that the word “life” is feminine. How fickle beauties can be, how unpredictable. Perhaps this, to some extent, distinguishes them from men. It cannot be said that all men can be quickly figured out. Men have a different unpredictability. And they know how to love and fall in love with others, despite their “marriage.” A stamp in a passport is not a guarantee that the love between a husband and wife will last forever.
My wife says I don’t love you, does not love her husband. The wife loves another man. What to do?
The only thing that men cannot like is that they believe that when a woman gets married, she is obliged to love only her husband and not look at others. They themselves scatter piercing glances left and right. Women are works of art for men. But men, for some reason, forget that beauties also have hearts in which there is always room for love.
Love can fall from the sky like a star. And that unexpected fall can hurt. Happy years of marriage are destroyed in an instant. Love came to the one who had been married for a long time...
The wife loves another man. If your spouse loves someone else, you need to talk to her. Talk not to return, but to understand why she gave her heart to another. Not every woman will tell true story about your love. Women know that men are capable of committing suicide. Let it be hard, but let the one whom a woman once loved start life over and move on. In general, this is what happens: it all ends in divorce, the man is looking for a soul mate, and while searching for her, he actively changes sexual partners. This happens "automatically". Basically, the unfortunate man doesn’t care which lady is next to him. His goals are to pass the time and have fun combined with satisfaction.
If a man decides to commit suicide, it means that the power of his love is stronger than the desire to live. Love…. Oh, how cruel she is! And all this cruelty “bites” into memories, into the past, into the present, into the future. She will take possession of the lover. Love will blind him so much that the man will not notice the light at the end of the tunnel and plunge into the darkness of the unknown. No one has ever returned from the other world, but many go there, hoping to escape forever from what happened.
What to do? - My wife loves another man, she doesn’t love me.
Men get hurt too. Both physically and mentally. And when he finds out that his beloved is becoming a stranger, he doesn’t just feel bad. It seems to him that life is slowly ending. As mentioned above, a man does not have the strength to wait until life itself leaves him. Life is long, and when it’s terrible in the inner world, it lasts a long time, an eternity.
Bottle, cigarettes, drugs - best friends at such moments. He and she lived together for many years. And where does this “ridiculous suddenness” come from? One evening, she admitted that she no longer loved him. A blow, a knife in the back. But she doesn’t care. And it’s not her fault that the feelings “passed” to another person. The only fault of the traitor - the woman - is that she could not predict that this could happen.
Love plays such games often. This can happen to absolutely anyone. But everyone's reaction is different. There are men who just walk away without saying a word. Care in English dulls the pain a little. But not much: the rest of the pain creeps into the soul and accumulates every minute. He will leave, but the questions that he really wanted to ask will remain with him. A man will hesitate for a long time: to return to his wife, with questions that concern him, or not.
The man’s wife stopped loving her and doesn’t love her husband. Not nonsense, but something that happens to many. What should someone who has suffered such a fate do? Let's start from the very beginning.
It's better to forget the woman. Try it. A woman falling in love with another man is not a joke or a prank. It's a pity. But this fact must be accepted so that it is not so offensive and painful. Forget, accept... It all seems so easy to do. But…. It just seems that way. Men say that it is easier to hate your loved one than to forget her. But hatred is a very bad feeling. Therefore, they try to get rid of it as soon as it tries to visit a person.
How to forget a woman? Try to be with someone else. This is also the answer to the question: what to do if the wife loves another man. There are many women, like flowers. So, you can choose. Replace is a bad word, because no one can replace your beloved wife. Even over time, after years, the shadow of his beloved can haunt a man. He will even look for the one who, at least somehow, will remind him of her. And this criterion makes it very difficult to “forget”. And the man begins to doubt that he needs to forget her.
What to do if you can’t forget, and you can’t be with someone else? Experiment with disappointment. It is necessary to be disappointed in the one who took the heart and fell in love with the other “one”. No ideal women. They are ideal only when male representatives fall head over heels in love with them. A man needs to look at a woman from the other side. The way he would look at an ordinary woman, quite objectively. Well, for example, a woman does not know how to cook a man’s favorite dish. If he is in love, then he will be able to live without food, which he really likes. If a man looks at a woman as an “ordinary person,” he will begin, mentally, to criticize her: “wow, she doesn’t know how to cook these luxurious dishes! She's definitely not for me."
The wife has fallen out of love - let the man buy a new car. Or a new computer. In general, something that is very valuable for a man in love, but offended. A man should buy something that will help him take his mind off the whole world. According to statistics, many men “disconnect” from the world with the help of computer games. The main thing is to choose a “toy” that can really “tighten” you, and not for half an hour.
Shooting range, billiards, sauna, fishing - a few more “life-saving entertainment” recommended by life. For some, it’s news that life is capable of not only dictating conditions, but also inventing remedies that cure love.
The wife loves another man. Wife with someone else? – No one, alas, is immune from this. But we need to continue to live, even if it is difficult to start all over again.
