A commercial offer is the main selling tool. It is with a commercial proposal that a potential client begins to become acquainted with your product or service. And the success of all work to complete the transaction depends on how correctly the commercial proposal is drawn up and delivered. A commercial offer differs from a price list or a regular specification for a product in its purpose, which is not so much to inform the client about the product or service being offered, but to encourage him to purchase the product or use the service.
Commercial offers can be divided into “personalized” and “non-personalized”. Personalized ones are addressed to a specific person and contain a personal appeal. Non-personalized - designed for a wider and more impersonal audience of recipients.
Regardless of the type of commercial proposal, the author must clearly understand the target audience to whom the text is aimed. Before drawing up a commercial proposal, it is recommended to determine the needs of your audience, what may interest them and attract their attention. Often the most common mistake is replacing the real needs of the target audience with the author’s ideas about the needs of potential clients.
Once the needs of the target audience (TA) have been clarified, you can proceed to drawing up the text of the proposal. A commercial proposal must consistently perform 4 main functions of an advertising message:
- Attract attention
- Arouse interest
- Awaken desire
- Stimulate purchase
It is in accordance with these functions that the text of the commercial proposal is formed. In the header of a commercial proposal, it is advisable to place a visual image that would attract the reader’s attention. Often, this function is assigned to the logo of the sending company. Therefore, the logo should first of all attract attention.
The typical structure of a commercial proposal is as follows:
- Header sentence and graphic illustration
- Subtitle clarifying the subject of the sentence
- Main text of the commercial proposal
- Advertising slogan, slogan, appeal
- Trademarks, sender details
Functions of structural elements
- The title and illustration should attract attention to the text and interest a potential client. This is the core of advertising and the strongest message to the buyer.
- Subheading is the link between the heading and the main text. If the client is not interested in the headline, then the subheading gives another chance to attract him to purchase.
- Body copy delivers on the promises of the headline and provides more detail.
- The final phrase - slogan, postscript - should motivate the client to make a purchase.
Heading
- According to statistics, 5 times more people read headlines.
- Advertisements with news are read 22% more often.
- The most powerful words in the title are “free” and “new.” But it is also important not to forget about the values of the target audience; in some cases, freeness, on the contrary, will repel.
- The title should be direct and simple.
- Avoid using negatives in headings.
- Blind and overly general headings should be avoided.
- Use one font. The more fonts in the title, the less people reads it.
- If the headline contains a direct quote or is enclosed in quotation marks, it attracts an additional 30% of readers.
- Short headlines of one line, no more than 10 words, work better.
First paragraph
- It becomes more and more difficult to hold the reader's attention - you need to learn how to compress a story into one paragraph several lines long.
- The first paragraph should contain no more than 11 words.
- A long first paragraph will scare the reader away.
- What should I write about in the following paragraphs? About the same thing, only in more detail.
Main text
- Love your product.
- When addressing the consumer, use the word “You”.
- “Beautiful writing is a great flaw” - Claude Hopkins. Use less exaggeration.
- The shorter the sentences, the better the text is read. But a sequence of equally short sentences is boring.
- When writing text, use colloquial language. But use professional slang only in exceptional cases.
- Write the text in the present tense.
- Don't make long introductory parts - immediately state the essence.
- The price indicated in the offer has a significant impact on the purchase decision.
- It makes sense to include product reviews and research results in the text.
- Avoid analogies like: “exactly like this”, “in this way”, “in the same way”.
- Avoid superlatives, generalizations and exaggerations.
- Use clear words and well-known names.
How to increase the readability of long text?
- Large text is best divided into paragraphs.
- After 5-8 cm of text, enter the first subtitle. The subtitle highlighted in bold font will once again attract the reader's attention.
- Insert illustrations from time to time. Highlight paragraphs using arrows, asterisks, and notes in the margins.
- Capitalizing the first letter increases readability by 13%.
- A serif font is easier to read from a sheet of paper, while a sans-serif font is easier to read from a monitor screen.
- Do not make the text monotonous; highlight key paragraphs in font or italics. Although underlining makes it difficult to read, use bold font instead.
- If you have many unrelated information points, simply number them.
P.S
- There are five times more people who notice slogans than read all advertising.
- The postscript text should contain the most important information that encourages you to read the entire article.
- The last paragraph should be no more than 3 lines.
- Compared to the number of applications that reached the advertiser, at least 2 times more potential applications remain only in the client’s thoughts.
In conclusion, it should be said that when sending by email, the commercial proposal should be sent in the most common electronic format, which is guaranteed to be opened by a potential client.
Have you decided to open your own business? Do you know what is most important when starting a business?
These statistics are disappointing: 85% - 90% of novice entrepreneurs fail at the very beginning of their activities.
One of the reasons is the inability to present a product or service. But if a businessman finds it difficult to explain to a client the advantages of his product or service over similar offers on the market, will he be able to achieve anything at all? As professionals note, the success of initiatives related to creating your own business largely determines the commercial offer that you create for your potential clients. Let's try to figure out how to make a commercial proposal correctly.
Today it is impossible to do without a good commercial proposal, and for any businessman with experience this is an axiom. But for those who have learned to competently compose such proposals, business development is no longer a problem. So, let's start creating a unique offer for your clients, and at the same time try to understand why it is so important for successful business.
Rules for drawing up a commercial proposal
After you have answered the 4 questions above, start writing your proposal. What are the commercial offers? They are divided into “hot” and “cold”.
- “Hot offers” are specific CP for a specific client. They can be drawn up after negotiations or requests from clients in response to an interesting “cold offer”. “Hot” proposals are an effective sales tool, provided that you have time to find out the client’s needs through personal contact and know what exactly he needs.
- “Cold offers” are used in mass mailings. These are short sentences that reveal the solution to the problem and the main benefit for the client. In a cold offer, the client must have the opportunity to contact you.
A little about the rules for drawing up a proposal.
The commercial proposal must have a clear structure, be clear, contain a mention of the client’s interests and indicate its benefits. And the CP should be specific and a little creative. Let's take a closer look at each of the rules.
Rule #1: Clarity.
Please note that the client will read the written proposal without your participation. So, if something happens, you will not be able to comment on it or explain certain points. Therefore, the text must be clear and concise, without ambiguity. It should not contain bulky structures. Sentences should be concise.
Rule No. 2. Structure.
The text should consist of a title and a body. The purpose of the title is to highlight the CP. The title should be catchy and noticeable. The client, after reading it, must choose your offer from dozens, maybe hundreds of others. And remember - you only have 3 seconds to attract the client's attention. State right away in the headline the benefits of the product. For example, the title could be like this: “How come you still have to overpay thousands of rubles for telephone communications?” “Did you know that you can save $300 a month tomorrow?”
After this there should be an interesting (preferably non-standard) formulation of the essence of the proposal. This part should be no more than one introductory paragraph. It is then recommended to write a description of the problems and potential benefits for the customer after using the product or service. Try to prove that your proposal can help solve the client’s problems. Finally, include a call or encouragement for the customer to take action (for example, call or email). When composing the text, keep in mind your answers to the 4 questions that we indicated above.
Rule No. 3. Talk about the client and his interests.
Clients will not waste time reading information about your achievements and extensive work experience, individual approach and team of professionals. That is why use the pronouns “Your” and “You” 4 to 5 times more often. This is the only way to show that the offer will be beneficial for a specific client. You can use phrases such as: “You can get...”, “You will save...”, etc. in the text of the commercial proposal.
Rule #4: Talk about benefits, not benefits.
The list of advantages is found in almost all CPs. In this case, the most general and practically meaningless phrases are written: “wide range of services”, “extensive work experience”, “discount system”. But these are not advantages, because everyone writes that way. Advantages consist of listing what distinguishes a particular service or product from similar offerings on the market. You need to say what exactly the client will receive when using the product or service. The description of the benefits may begin with: “What this will mean for you...”. Here is one of the options: “This means that with our help you will be able to save 200,000 rubles per month, and you will be able to use these funds to purchase new efficient equipment, which will improve the quality of your product on the market and make greater profits.”
Rule No. 5. Specificity.
Be specific - try andWith use numbers and facts. They are the ones who convince clients more often. For example, the phrase
“Our company has been operating on the market for 15 years” sounds more convincing than “Our company has many years of experience.” Instead of “We receive a large number of orders,” it is better to write: “More than 100 companies trust us.”
If you say that the client will save money thanks to the service, show a specific calculation. If you are offering to receive additional income, provide examples and tell us about those who have previously used your services.
Rule No. 6. Be imaginative.
Try to make your offer attract attention. Use suitable colors unusual materials, unexpected forms of text presentation.
Thus, following just 6 rules will allow you to create an attractive commercial offer.
Program for creating commercial proposals
So, the CP has been drawn up, now re-read it. Imagine that a client is reading it, and try to understand what will like and attract him and what will not. Honestly, would you have a desire to purchase the proposed service or product?
Well, now let's talk about how to effectively work with commercial proposals. If you're productive, you probably send out hundreds of business proposals a day.
How not to get confused in all the variety of companies to which you have offered cooperation? The optimal solution is to automate work with commercial proposals.
The online program Class365 allows you to create commercial proposals online. The service offers a comprehensive solution for automation of wholesale and retail trading companies, online stores, companies providing different kinds services.
Possibilities online programs Class365 for working with commercial proposals
- Use ready-made examples of commercial proposals
- Create commercial proposals using your printable editable form
- Download and edit business proposal templates
- You can download the commercial proposal compiled in the system in PDF or DOC to your computer or send it by email directly from the system
- Keep a log of submitted commercial proposals
- Assign statuses for commercial offers
- Issue invoices and place orders based on quotes
In addition, in the program you will be able to maintain warehouse and financial accounting, work with a full-fledged CRM module, and manage projects and tasks.
Get started with the program today. Without implementation period, personnel training and costs for purchasing a licensed product. The free version has no expiration date. If you wish, you can increase the number of users and switch to the “Professional” tariff.
A commercial proposal is an ideal tool for working with old partners; such an offer is also used to find new partners. From our article you will learn in detail about the specifics of commercial proposals: rules for drawing up, mistakes that can be made, get useful information, as well as example sentences and templates.
What is a commercial offer?
Often a company thinking about expanding its customer and partner base chooses commercial proposals as its main tool. Conventionally, commercial offers can be divided into 2 types:
- Personalized, sent to a specific addressee and containing a personal message inside. The main advantage of such offers is that the client involuntarily begins to feel involved in your company; he is pleased that he will individually receive an offer with a special discount or bonuses. Of course, he doesn’t need to know that several dozen other people received a similar letter.
- Non-personalized, which is also called cold. It contains anonymized information and is not directed to to the only person, but is designed for a wide range of consumers. This proposal also has its disadvantages: firstly, the lack of personal appeal generalizes the information, reducing the degree of interest of the client. Secondly, the offer can be read by a person who will not make the purchasing decision (secretary, middle manager, relative, etc.).
Any type of commercial proposal will help you achieve the following goals:
- Will attract the attention of a potential client/partner.
- Will arouse interest and desire to purchase the product.
- It will help the buyer decide to make a purchase or order a specific service.
Taking these decisions into account, a commercial proposal is developed, but the principle of its “work” is similar to that of a regular advertising campaign. Naturally, the textual content of a commercial proposal is 50% of success; if you create a personalized proposal, then you need to pay great attention to the paper and even the envelope in which it will be sealed. Usually, in order to attract the client’s attention, the proposal is supplemented with the company logo or an emphasis is placed on corporate colors.
Structure: compose a sentence sequentially
The standard structure of such a proposal consists of 5 main parts. Let's look at them with examples.
Title and subtitle of the CP
- Headline, which uses an enticing phrase and, if possible, a corporate logo.
- Subtitle, which defines the service or product offered.
Which is correct?
Example No. 1
- Title: How to reduce the cost of a click in Yandex Direct while maintaining a CTR of 40-50%?
- Subtitle: The IT company will reduce the cost per click by half in 10 days, increasing CTR by at least 10%.
Example No. 2
- Headline: The Minutka courier service will deliver your order from the cafe so quickly that the dishes will not have time to cool down!
- Subtitle: Services for delivering hot lunches for employees directly to the office.
Example No. 3
- Title: Express Italian courses: we will refund you 100% of your payment if your employees do not speak Italian in 3 months!
- Subtitle: Special service for preparing personnel for the arrival of foreign colleagues, foreign business trips, and maintaining documentation.
Example No. 4
- Title: What to do if the contractor missed the deadline, and there is no time left for interior finishing of the apartment?
- Subtitle: Company "Repair M": we carry out finishing work in a short time and give a 10% discount.
How wrong?
- Headline: LLC "Wall": let's build it as if it were for ourselves.
- Subtitle: The Stena LLC company has been engaged in construction work for more than 10 years.
Information and benefits block
- A block that attracts attention and provides advertising information about a product/service.
- The benefits that a partner or client will receive from cooperation with your company.
Wrong
The courier service “Minutka” has been on the market for these services since 2010. They leave only positive reviews about our work, we have more than 500 clients, but this is not the limit. Our service cooperates with the companies Technotrade LLC, Autoservice 100 and others. We are the best delivery service in our segment:
- Large car park.
- We cooperate with a large number of cafes and restaurants.
- We provide discounts to regular customers.
The cost of our services depends on the number of your employees, the distance of the cafe from your office and other factors. To find out more, contact us by phone or email!
There is no “pepper” in KP, there is no intrigue and that very “candy” that attracts customers. You definitely need to use more numbers, tempting phrases and offers that will make a person read the letter to the end and call you.
Which is correct?
The Minutka courier service offers to organize meals for your company’s employees. Hot lunches in the office mean not only saving material resources, but also increasing the efficiency of your team. Why waste time looking for a cafe, because the Minutka courier service will bring hot dishes from any restaurant or cafe in Nizhny Novgorod within 30 minutes.
5 reasons why you should contact a courier service in a minute:
- Our services are used by more than 15 organizations in Nizhny Novgorod.
- We work 744 hours a month, accepting orders day and night.
- We cooperate with more than 25 food outlets of different price categories.
- The service has its own fleet of vehicles and the latest equipment, allowing it to accept and deliver orders within 30 minutes - 1 hour.
- If you find food delivery cheaper, we will give you a personal 20% discount.
Feedback: Our company does not have its own canteen, so we have been cooperating with the Minutka courier service for more than 3 years, we are satisfied with the quality of their work and the speed of delivery. We are often given discounts and sent an extended list of cafes and restaurants with which the courier service cooperates. Our employees are satisfied, we express our deep gratitude to the Minutka service for delicious lunches and prompt delivery!
Sincerely, Recruitment Director of the New Technologies company Anna Kovalenko!
Shall we cooperate?
Here are your available contacts, address and phone number, you can add a service logo.
What is the purpose of the proposal?
All advertising tools have one goal - to sell, to sell profitably. And it doesn't matter what tools you use, because cheap calendar or an expensive offer on laminated paper should attract the client and arouse his interest. Therefore, all the efforts of the person making the commercial proposal should be concentrated on competently presenting the benefits of the purchase, which even the client who is “not in the know” will see.
If your potential client reads the commercial proposal to the end, then this is a success for the company, which can bring profit and new clients.
Tips to help you write a business proposal
To create a “selling” commercial offer, you need to take into account several tips that make the offer more interesting for a potential buyer:
- More specificity and clarity. Avoid vague phrases and vague sentences; you need to place on 1 sheet specific information about the product or service that will clearly reveal its advantages.
- When drafting, do not make logical, semantic or technical errors that will immediately scare off clients.
- Provide only truthful information. If the client does not receive the promised bonus or product, then he will have a worse impression of the company.
- Be sure to indicate Special offers that you can guarantee to the client.
- Stick to structure and fill your business proposal with confident phrases. Your confidence will be transferred to the client, encouraging him to place an order.
Rules for drawing up a commercial proposal: determine the goal, audience and other parameters
Before drawing up a commercial proposal, it is necessary to analyze the target audience for which the document is intended. You must realistically assess the desires and capabilities of your potential audience in order to create a good proposal.
Check after compilation
After drawing up a commercial proposal, it is worth conducting a short test by quickly skimming the finished letter. Does it solve the client's problem? Is there any pattern in it? Is everything listed? You can carry out several such checks; believe me, all the “verbal” chaff will be eliminated, and only useful and effective information will remain on paper.
There are several tools you can use to check your offer:
- Ask your coworker or friend to read the proposal. Let your friend evaluate the commercial proposal and say whether he would make a call to your company or not. What is important here is perception, understanding of the topic (even if the person is completely unfamiliar with your product), and the desire to call.
- Read the text, discarding all epithets. For example, the phrase “our best hairdryer in the whole world” sounds simpler and easier without superlatives, no longer looking like a schoolchild’s essay.
This is how you simply proofread a commercial proposal, ridding it of worn-out cliches and truly ridiculous phrases. Then give it to the printing house or designer, and you will receive the CP ready for sending. But what to do next with ready-made proposals? Let's find out together!
Examples of ready-made commercial proposals: photos
If you don't have someone on staff with experience sending out such proposals, you'll probably have to hire one. Fan mailing by email or delivery by courier is a subtle science that requires certain skills. But the situation will be facilitated by using your own or purchased client base with potential buyers.
Prestigious companies have been building their client base for years, so there should be no problems, but a young, developing business does not yet have a large number of clients. What to do? You can buy, but they may slip you a dummy with “dead souls” (non-existent email addresses, for example) or sell a database with a non-target audience. For example, a car dealership will give its base to a cosmetics store, what's the point?
Let's sum it up
Writing and sending commercial proposals is difficult, really difficult, if you want to get real result. For such an “action” to bring benefits, be sure to contact professionals or friends who have been involved in drawing up commercial proposals at least once in their lives.
Today I will try to present you with 7 basic writing rules that will help your message not end up in the “basket”.
I will try to answer these exciting questions:
How to avoid being among hundreds of unread letters?
How to attract and retain attention to a commercial offer?
How to influence a potential client's action?
In addition to studying the 7 rules, it will be useful to read the article to avoid possible mistakes when creating a CP.
Rule No. 1. Respect for the potential client.
Any request must begin with the information of the person to whom it is sent. Take the trouble to find out how to correctly write the position, company name and initials of the person for whom this document is intended.
The famous American psychologist Dale Carnegie says the following about this: “A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound for him in any language.”
Therefore, each of your commercial proposals must be personalized.
The standard version of the call looks like this:
"To CEO
PJSC "Pilgrim"
Mr. Sidorov A.N.”
- If you were unable to find out the position of the person to whom you are addressing the appeal, you have the opportunity to use the standard wording - “manager”.
- PrJSC, LLC, JSC, PE is the official legal name of the company. If you indicate the wrong form of ownership, you will most likely end up in the “basket”.
- The last name, first name and patronymic of the manager are the most important in your application. Please pay attention to the correct spelling and declension of the surname. If in doubt and there is no way to clarify, the best option will completely refuse to write your full name. However, I am sure that the secretary of any company will be happy to help you with this issue.
Another common mistake is leaving space for the last name (“________”). I guarantee you that the reader of your commercial proposal will immediately get the impression that this is just another mass mailing.
Rule No. 2. Avoid the banal phrase “Dear.”
This appeal takes us back to distant times Soviet Union. I suggest you be more original. For example, address it like this: “dear.” And it’s even better if you invent a personal, individual and different appeal. And then your potential client is guaranteed to have their eyes on your commercial message.
Rule No. 3. Be an equal with the client.
Many people are accustomed to starting their address with the words: “Allow me to suggest...”and end with “Sorry to bother you.”».
This is a highly controversial issue. However, my professional, verified and subjective opinion suggests that both are interested in a certain commercial offer. You are not a beggar at a bus stop. You offer a product or service that your client needs. You are in an equal position.
The key to success is “partnership”, which can only be “on equal terms”.
Rule No. 4. The magic of the title.
The first impression of your commercial letter will be formed thanks to a competent address and an attractive headline. It is the headline that will either hold the reader’s attention or send the letter to the ill-fated “trash.”
The title should howl:
- intriguing;
— presenting benefits;
- laconic.
For example:
Do you still have to spend over $100 a month on office equipment maintenance?”
Or this option:
“Dear Alexander Nikolaevich!
Do you want to know an easy way to save $1,200 a year?”
Believe me, a businessman will not miss the opportunity to find out options for possible savings. Company directors are always interested in cost optimization.
Rule #5: Pay more attention to the client than to yourself.
“We” is the key word used in most business proposals.
However, psychologists say that a person is too self-centered to read or listen about someone for a long time. Any person is interested in what he will have, and not what you can.
That’s how a person works, well, he won’t be interested in reading about your successes and achievements. Therefore, place more emphasis on “You”. This is guaranteed to keep the reader's attention on your commercial message.
The following formulations always work effectively:
- You will feel it.
— You will be able to receive.
- You'll save money.
- You protect yourself from.
Rule #6: Talk about benefits, not advantages.
Most commercial offers are filled with a wide list of advantages that they promise the buyer. However, let's look at these advantages:
- a wide range of;
— loyal prices;
- extensive work experience;
— system of discounts.
All these advantages mean absolutely nothing. They will fit the description of any product or service and any company.
The most important thing, in my opinion, is to move away from banality and standard templates. Your sales pitch should talk about the specific benefits that a potential client will receive.
If you want to talk about your rich experience. Consider how this experience will benefit the client:
For example: "You can trust us with even the most non-standard work and be confident in their high-quality execution.”
Did you feel the difference? I think it's obvious.
Rule No. 7. Less words, more to the point.
The optimal size of your commercial proposal is the size of one, maximum two A4 pages. You should present as much useful and constructive information as possible on one sheet of paper.
In this case, I advise you to focus on numbers. They always look convincing. If you offer financial benefits, indicate the amounts, percentages, differences.
Here's a good example:
"Our many years of experience"
“We have been working in the market for 5 years”
Agree that the second option is much more convincing.
And a bit more practical advice:
- Use short and concise sentences.
- Use small paragraphs.
— Insert bullets, highlights, and lists.
The effective structure of your commercial proposal should look like this:
1. Appeal and intriguing part.
2. Description of the existing problem.
3. Your suggestions for solving existing problems.
4. Focus on benefits.
5. Specific argumentation expressed in numbers.
6. The price of your product or service.
7. Arguments in support of such a price.
In order for a commercial proposal to turn from spam into a working tool, you need to follow three simple rules.
- The proposal should be based on the needs of the company you are sending it to. A story about what a wonderful company you are, how much you know and can do, what a wide range you have and how smart your suppliers are - a direct path to the basket. Less pronouns “we” and more “you”.
Wrong:
We will help you double your website conversion.
Our antivirus will save you from cyber threats forever.
We offer laundry services to your restaurant.
Right:
You can increase your website conversion by 2 times.
Your computers will be protected 24 hours a day.
Do you want to always have a supply of clean tablecloths and aprons and forget about stains forever?
2. The CP must be addressed (and also sent) directly to the decision maker. Letters sent to the commercial department, the marketing specialist, the nameless director or manager, and the village grandfather will not reach the addressee.
3. How do you choose a book and view news on the Internet? By titles. In a correct commercial proposal, the same rule applies - if you are interested in a catchy, bright and interesting headline, then the commercial proposal will be read. If the header is unclear or completely absent, then there is a high probability that the letter will be sent to the trash.
How to find out the needs for a CP
Before writing a commercial proposal, you need to collect and analyze information about a potential client. The CP is not a reason for getting to know each other, it is the final document after which cooperation begins. First, consider what needs your product or service can satisfy. After studying a potential client, you can guess which needs from your list they have. In an ideal situation, all this information is confirmed during a telephone conversation or a personal meeting.
What you need to find out to draw up the right commercial proposal:
- Client's business goals
- When are these goals expected to be achieved?
- Client problems and difficulties
- Cost of customer inaction
- What evaluation metrics does the client use?
If you know the client's needs, then you can easily write how these needs are met with the help of your services.
What to do when, instead of a meeting, based on the results of which you can write a beautiful and correct commercial proposal, you are offered to immediately send a proposal?
How to write a cold commercial proposal
You should immediately take into account that “cold” commercial offers practically do not work. The only advantage of a cold commercial offer is its mass appeal. Most recipients perceive them as spam and delete them without reading them. Therefore, the main task of such a CP is not to sell your service, but to make you read it to the end. Only in this case there is a real chance for cooperation.
The main danger that awaits a “cold” gearbox is that it can be removed. And do it both at the moment of receiving the letter and in the process of reading it. Therefore, when drawing up a cold commercial proposal, you have to deal with three risks.
- Deleting a letter at the receiving stage. To prevent this from happening, you need to attract attention. When sending by email, there is only one option - the subject of the letter. If the commercial proposal is sent by mail or courier, you can try custom envelopes.
- Deleting a letter at the opening stage. Your offer must be attractive to the client. Moreover, the offer should be at the very beginning of the letter and catch your eye. This will make you read it further.
- Deleting a message while reading it. Congratulations, your proposal has attracted the interest of a potential client. But this does not mean at all that he will read the letter to the end. The arguments in favor of cooperation with you and the benefits for the reader should be undeniable. But more on that below.
A cold offer should be as short as possible. The recipient is doing you a favor by reading it, so don't distract their attention for too long. And remember that a “cold” CP can be sent to the trash at any time.
Another important point– who should I address the “cold” CP? if you have email address decision maker is good. But more often such letters are sent to one of the company’s general mailboxes, and people who do not make decisions will read it. It must look convincing enough to be passed on to management.
Commercial offer structure
The structure of a commercial offer, regardless of whether it is “cold” or “hot”, is always the same. It’s just that in “cold” you try to predict the client’s needs, and in “hot” you argue for your usefulness for the company based on real facts. A “cold” proposal should not exceed 1 page, a “hot” proposal can be much longer, and it is not always a text document; proposals in presentation format are quite acceptable.
Heading
The headline in a commercial proposal is similar in its significance to a headline in the media - if it is catchy, then the document will be read. For a cold gearbox this is the most important element. The headline should tell how the problem will be solved or how the company will benefit, while still hooking the reader. The optimal title length is one line.
What to avoid in headlines:
- Spam. It’s better to forget free, guarantee, limited offer and similar words. If you use numbers in the title, it should be a description, not a call.
- Blur.
Wrong: Thousands of potential clients per day ( It’s unclear where these clients will come from) .
Right: Advertising on a website with 10 thousand unique visitors per day. - Lack of specifics. Any “beautiful but worthless” headlines: secrets of doing business, revealing the secret of millionaires. The facts will look more attractive: Connecting the widget increased the conversion of company X’s website by 30%.
- Grade. Avoid evaluative words - profitable, fastest, best, unique.
Offer
What the CP is written for is the essence of your proposal. It needs to be presented from the point of view of benefits for the client, that is, not “we offer”, but “you get.” How to do it? First, briefly identify the client’s problem, and then tell how it is solved. There should be no lengthy summaries or non-specific phrases. Study the customer's needs and competitors' offers well. Essentially, an offer is a unique selling proposition of your commercial enterprise (read how to formulate a working USP).
What to avoid in offers:
- Vague wording. The offer must correspond to the client’s values and talk about specific benefits.
Wrong: Our widget can be connected to any website.
Right: The widget adapts to the design of your site.
You will get all the ways to communicate with clients on one panel. - Implausibility. Promises should not raise doubts in the client. The proposals “only fresh fish” and “office renovation in 1 day” are sure to raise questions. But “delivering freshly caught fish by helicopter from Vladivostok” or “painting office walls in 1 day” are already quite possible.
- Stamps and cliches. We cross out the phrases: affordable prices, exclusive offer, team of professionals, etc.
Belief
You told what benefits the client will receive. Now you must prove to the client that only your company can solve his problem better than anyone else. And again, we avoid general phrases and praises like “they choose us for reliability and quality.” The phrase “our system is used by Gazprom and the FSB because no one can hack it” sounds much more convincing.
Any client has a list of criteria that he focuses on when choosing business partners. These may be delivery times, speed of work, price, technical support, payment scheme for services and much more. Give an argument for each point. Cases, certificates, reviews can serve as evidence, but it is better to avoid general words and value judgments. It is important to place the benefits in the correct order. Our offer includes the strongest argument. We arrange the rest from weakest to strongest. Don’t forget to translate product characteristics or service descriptions into benefits. Don't promise something you can't deliver.
Price
We built arguments from weak to strong for a reason. When the price of your service appears after a criterion that is significant to the client, it is not scary. The cost must be justified:
- advantage of the service
- a description of what it includes
- benefits from use
- price comparison
Experts advise avoiding the word “price”; it is better to replace it with the word “cost”, and where appropriate, use “investment”.
Dispelling doubts
- Offer a trial period
- Risk reduction. For example, postpaid
- Guarantees. For example, 24/7 technical support.
