When severe trials fall, anxiety and unrest cover, people ask for help from God or from the sages in order to get advice, recommendations for solving their problems. And then there is a need to find a person who can guide you on the right path and help you understand yourself and your own troubles. It is such a person that a spiritual mentor often becomes, who helps to open up the soul, repent and make a decision to change your life.
Why is Spiritual Guidance Necessary?
Without a leader, a person cannot live a life of holiness. You can find a teacher in a church, where you need to come and pray to the Lord to send a confessor who will comfort, advise and direct thoughts in a charitable direction. Role spiritual guide great. He, communicating with his child, conveys what the spirit of God conveys to him, instills peace and harmony in the soul.
As a rule, a spiritual mentor is a person with great life and religious experience, and he is obedient to lead the religious life of other people. The confessor plays a huge role in the life of a layman and a clergyman, and he is necessary in order to listen to his advice, live piously and reach the Kingdom of Heaven. The history of the church has several options for mentoring. But the main ones are:
the service of a priest in a parish, where he is the spiritual healer of all parishioners; eldership, it is this that has become widespread in Russia.
Elders - healers of souls
Originating in Byzantium, it has firmly entered Russian culture and occupied one of the most significant places. The elders took a vow of obedience and by their words and deeds were called to expose sins and console people who were entangled in their own doubts. With saving conversations and instructions, they healed the souls, brought peace and tranquility to them.
Russian eldership takes its origins from the Monk Paisius Velichkovsky and reaches its development thanks to the monks of the Optina Hermitage. Monasteries with their spiritual mentors have been the center of pilgrimage for the Orthodox people for a long time. Eldership had its own peculiarity, where strict asceticism alternated with active exits into the world. These outlets were expressed in contact with the people and in the service of the world as a spiritual helper, mentor and adviser.
Achieving simplicity through humility
Being engaged in the religious education of their students, the elders taught wisdom, contributed to moral growth and improvement. During the earthly life of their spiritual disciple, they coordinated and directed the deeds and actions of the child. The connection between the teacher and the student was very strong, because it was built on a trusting and respectful relationship, humility and love. Father Zakhary instructed to protect one's conscience and strive for simplicity, which can only be achieved through humility.
They came to the elders for advice when there were doubts and difficult situations arose. Consolations and help were expected from the confessor. The uniqueness of the eldership in Orthodoxy lay in the unshakable faith and spiritual strength of the elders and in the subtle work that they carried out in the soul of their disciple. Influencing the human psyche, they delicately and accurately guide a person on the path of gaining love for the Lord.
Finding a Mentor
It is a great grace for a believer to find a clergyman who will be responsible to the Almighty for his student, will pray for him, control the growth of spirituality, guide his actions and instruct him in worldly life, and also guide him on the path of virtue that leads to eternal life. .
For a believer, the way of solving problems is different from the way that unbelieving laymen choose. People who are far from religion, as a rule, try to solve their troubles that have arisen, relying on the help and advice of their acquaintances and, in the main, people who are far from religion. And often the problem is not resolved, but only worsened. This happens because all the complexities are concentrated within us, far from God. And as a result, under the accumulation of sins, there is a failure of spiritual harmony.
With the advent of unforeseen situations, a churched person should go to his confessor for advice. At the same time, the believer understands that when asking what to do, he is waiting for an answer to his question from the Lord. Seeing his humility, God through the priest gives the right advice and blesses. A Christian will never doubt that it is necessary to follow what the confessor says. He is sure that it is the Almighty who sends him his support. Only if you transfer your heart and soul into obedience to a confessor, God's grace will settle in a person.
The Church does not set limits and provides an opportunity for a good Christian to choose a confessor himself. How to find a spiritual mentor? It’s good if it is a clergyman from the temple, where you often come to pray. But everything is individual, and sometimes it is not easy to meet a confessor with whom a trusting and cordial relationship would be established.
The mentor's task
Spiritual mentorship seeks to improve the personality and the manifestation of the image of God in it, to educate the spiritual principle in a person. Orthodox Christian you should definitely read and imbue the instructions of the holy fathers. They say:
the spiritual thoughts of any Orthodox should be led by a priest, whose help must be addressed both in confession and in teaching; try to communicate with the confessor throughout your life, revealing your sins and ungodly thoughts; following the teachings of your spiritual father, you will certainly gain the Kingdom of Heaven; if you trust your heart to the confessor, then God's grace will settle in the soul.
How to choose a spiritual father?
How to choose a spiritual mentor? You don't have to look for ways. There is no need to make special efforts when starting the search for a spiritual mentor. This will tell the heart. Understanding whether this is your person or not will come by itself if:
the advice of the priest has a beneficial effect and heals the soul; you receive consolation and feel support; you experience joy and peace when communicating with him; you feel and believe in the power of his prayer and mutual goodwill.
How to start searching for a spiritual father
In order for God to tell you how to find a spiritual mentor, you need to pray a lot and passionately. Starting the search, you need to take a closer look at the parish in which the priest conducts services. A good priest in the temple always has a benevolent atmosphere. It is worth talking with the parishioners, to find out their opinion about the pastor.
You should not go to distant lands, wondering where to find your spiritual mentor. He may be near and closer than you think. You don't have to tell anyone about your mentor when you meet him. Religious life is private, and there is no need to put it on public display.
Come often to the church you like. Open up to the priest at confession and pray for him, and then God will reveal his will through him. When communication with a clergyman takes place in confidence, then it is worth following the advice of the priest and, having received parting words, fulfill it. There is no need to come with one question or problem to many priests, hoping for a change in admonition.
There is no need to rush and call the first priest you meet your confessor. When visiting church, confess and ask the priest for advice about your pain. And then it is possible to meet a spiritual father close to you.
Communicating with parishioners, find out where to find your confessor, and which priest enjoys authority and respect from the flock.
You need to start reading religious literature from simple and understandable texts. Spiritual books will help you to correctly determine the goals and priorities in life.
Does a person need a spiritual mentor?
In any field of activity or in sports, a novice specialist, athlete or student always has a mentor. He helps to master the profession, shares experience, advice. The mentorship of a clergyman is aimed at achieving a student's strength of spirit, religious self-awareness and the fulfillment of divine commandments.
The relationship between a child and a confessor is not measured by the amount of time spent together. Sometimes a few sentences are enough to calm the soul and resolve issues. It is important to follow all the advice received from the confessor.
In worldly life, it is important for families following the laws of God to confess to one confessor. It happens that emerging internal family problems can be solved together.
It is desirable for a churched person to keep a record of his sins and then confess them to the confessor as often as possible. It is believed that salvation is in a multitude of councils. Therefore, it is useful for the soul to seek answers to questions from several priests. But it is better to open thoughts and sinful thoughts only to your spiritual father.
Some believers do not know that, when going to the shepherd, they need to read the prayer: “Lord! Give me mercy and inspire the spiritual father to give me an answer according to your will. Entrusting oneself to a spiritual father is The best way to get on the path to recovery. The devil will not be able to intervene where everything secret and sinful has been revealed to the confessor. It is important to obey your leader, because through him you obey God.
spiritual teacher
The confessor is like a teacher who opens true meaning many things and the truth to their wards. A teacher, a spiritual mentor must expand the inner potential of the individual, influence him, make the spiritual world of the pupil consonant with his own.
Mentoring is also the confessor's prayers for sending him wisdom in teaching his students. This is his appeal to God in insoluble situations, a request for support from the Heavenly Intercessor in moments of doubt and helplessness. The spiritual father is responsible before Jesus Christ for the children entrusted to him.
Human spirit guides
On our way, we come across a lot of people who call and consider themselves spiritual mentors. Often they have their own teachings, schools, or they call themselves followers of famous spiritual figures. Such mentors have students, like-minded people and admirers who support their views and beliefs.
In addition, each person has his own invisible spiritual helpers. These include angels who protect and protect throughout life. If you manage to learn to understand them, then life will become much easier and simpler. Coming into the world together with the born baby, the angels leave it after death.
A believer who strives to follow God's commandments with a clear conscience and thoughts does not lose heart before adversity. They only strengthen beliefs and perfect his soul. Going to his confessor, he realizes that he is asking for advice not from a person, but from the Lord, who through the priest gives the necessary advice and blesses. The parting words of the spiritual father, carried out strictly, will lead to help from God. For the purpose of man's existence on earth is to purify his heart and feel the closeness of God.
Hello, father! In the past I led a very vicious life, drank a lot, was addicted to hard drugs, fornicated, committed adultery, worked as a swindler (scammer), assisted in the murder of my child - these are just a small part of my exploits. The Lord enlightened me, I was very close, nose to nose, faced with the enemy of the human race, I almost died, and through this I came to faith. For the past three years I have been going to church, periodically (1-2 times a year) I break down, I start drinking, I drink for a month, sometimes two, then I get up, repent, I start to pray again, go to services, participate in the Sacraments. During the neophyte period, I thought everything, life changed forever, only forward to the Lord, and not a step back. Now I do not believe in my strength at all, I am confused. I understand that a spiritual mentor is needed, but where can I find one, and how can I ask a priest to become my confessor? I live in Korolyov, for the second year I go to the Holy Trinity Church, I really like your sermons, and I perfectly understand how busy you are, but can you tell me a priest to whom I can turn with this request? God bless you Father John. Dmitriy
Answer: Dmitry! Hold on tight.
Do not trust yourself, your strength, but constantly think about God, eternal life. And every time pray, at least in your own words, that the Lord will help you get rid of your passions. Try not to have free time. Schedule the day so that you have no time to think about wine. Find joy in work, reading, family, but only - not in drunkenness. Read the Bible.
As for the priest. Next to us is the Holy Trinity Lavra, I advise you to find yourself a prayer book and confessor there. If it is too far to go there, come to the temple or call, contact me, I will help you in any way I can.
Help, Lord, to overcome your passions.
Sincerely, Father John
Instruction
You should start looking for a mentor only if you are already firmly convinced that you need one. In order not to make a mistake in the choice, you must first pray. Then God himself will help you in your search and will certainly lead to the one that is most suitable for this role.
Priests in the Church can be conditionally divided into two categories: those who are quite strict in matters of church discipline (observance of all rites, services, fasts, prayers, etc.), and those who are a little softer and more flexible with their "children" . It is also necessary to take into account these parameters when choosing a spiritual father. If you are going to strictly follow all the traditions and customs, then you need to look for a confessor among the first group of clergy. These, as a rule, will be monks, abbots or archimandrites. If you have a family, and you do not want to delve too deeply into religious issues, then your choice will fall on the second group. Here the priests are also family people, and among them are mainly priests and archpriests.
As soon as you choose a suitable priest, you need to arrange a personal meeting with him and already at it ask him to take on the duties of your spiritual father. At the same time, you can agree with him on the date of the first confession. If you could find such a person from whom a feeling of warmth and soul mate then you are very lucky. After all, it is this person who will take care of your peace of mind and ask the Lord for mercy for you.
Related videos
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How to find a confessor. Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) says that “a spiritual father must be sought according to the disposition of one's soul. When you trust your spiritual father in everything, and your heart opens up before him, you trust the secrets of your soul, you can reveal it to him. In this case, you choose such a confessor that he will speak freely with you, so that you can calmly entrust your innermost secrets to him.
How to find a spiritual father? If someone sincerely and wholeheartedly seeks salvation, God will lead him to a true mentor ... Do not worry - he will always find his own. Before looking for an experienced confessor, you must yourself, as they say, “rub your eyes”, put in your heart the desire to be a good Christian - to have a firm faith, be an obedient member of the Holy Church, fight your evil habits and then pray fervently that The Lord helped you find a spiritual father, and you will certainly find him...
Sources:
- How to find a spiritual father?
life path can be very complex and tortuous. Step aside - and it is easy to find yourself flying into the abyss. In order not to get lost in this bizarrely arranged world, people accept spiritual teachers, mentors, or simply focus on the experience of those they trust.
Instruction
From among the preachers or priests, choose a person you trust. Before approaching this person for spiritual guidance, observe him. See how his words match his actions. Perhaps this person will not be a clergyman at all, but simply a wise person who inspires you.
Learn more about this person's biography. How did he come to his current position (he became a priest, a spiritual leader, just a wise person). If this path seems to you true, interesting, worthy of imitation - this will be another reason to ask for mentorship.
Ask this person questions about the meaning of a person's life, about his individual path. The answers may not match your expectations. They may even upset you. But the main task of a spiritual mentor is not to delight the student's ears with "sweet songs", but to convey the Truth to him. Therefore, it is worth thinking about which person will be more useful to you as a spiritual mentor: a pleasant and leading soul-saving conversation or a real spiritual warrior who can break your usual ideas about the world and turn you to the Truth.
Ask this person if they are ready to act as your spiritual guide? The ritual of "appeal to the teacher" itself is necessary. This form of establishing a "teacher-student" relationship has been practiced since ancient times in the East, when a person humbly asks the teacher to accept him as a student.
You need to discuss with the person you have chosen as your mentor whether they are ready to take on this responsibility and give you guidance about life, sorting out your successes and failures on the path to "enlightenment", however you define it for yourself.
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Remember that a spiritual mentor and a psychotherapist are two different things. The spiritual mentor is not in charge of solving your problems. psychological problems. His task is to elevate your life by his example and instructions, to give it a higher meaning.
Helpful advice
Do not rush to accept a spiritual mentor out of a desire to follow a fashion or imitate someone from the people.
The decision to accept a spiritual mentor should be a balanced and natural one for you.
Each of us has experienced situations in life when someone's good advice and support was extremely needed. And if you are afraid to entrust something intimate to relatives and friends, then in such cases, at the call of your heart, you can turn to the church, to the priest.
Disturbing events in the world lead to the fact that more and more people begin to seek reassurance in the Church, protection from God, but many do not know how to do this, sometimes embarrassed by their Christian illiteracy and lack of faith. It is almost impossible to independently join the spiritual life or join the church, learn to read the Bible and understand it, and know the rules of conduct in the temple.
Many Christians baptized in infancy seek to approach the Sacraments of the Church and, as a rule, do this by consulting with people from their environment, not even realizing that a spiritual mentor in the Orthodox Church can help them.
Spiritual mentor - wise assistant
Christians who frequent temple services meet the same priests, and sometimes they are the same person. During sermons and Liturgies, Orthodox believers have questions that even close friends cannot answer.
Sometimes life situations develop in such a way that you can’t tell anyone about them at all, and the problem tears the heart, and then the person goes to the temple to the priest.
How to find a spiritual mentor
A huge gift was acquired by those Christians who for a long time have the opportunity to receive encouragement and guidance from a spiritual mentor at any time.
A spiritual mentor is a person who is well versed in Orthodoxy, constantly abides in reading spiritual literature, fasting, praying and fulfilling all the canons. The priest of the local church does not always become a spiritual guardian; it can be a Sunday school teacher or a church-goer, that is, a person living the life of the temple.
For Christians who rarely go to church, a spiritual helper can be close person who honors God with his whole life and serves as an example, a light for others. “By their deeds you will know,” wrote the apostle Matthew (Matthew 7:16)
A spiritual mentor is a God-sent person who will help a soul seeking God:
- come to true repentance;
- to know the meaning of the Savior's Sacrifice;
- learn to fear God on the basis of trust in Him;
- "dress" in the faith of Christ, as in armor.
About the priesthood:
What is the role of a spiritual mentor
For Christian development, liberation from sins, vision of the goals of life, people constantly need outside help. Psychologists, psychoanalysts, healers and coaches have appeared in worldly life, who are ready to help solve any problem for a lot of money, but there is no money, no help.
IN Christian life the spiritual mentor performs all the functions of the above assistants in solving all problems.
The Role of a Spiritual Guide
As a healer, a spiritual mentor is ready to listen to any problem, not to condemn, but to help find a way out, support a Christian, fill him with faith that Jesus went to the cross for him, his sins.
A Bible-savvy teacher will show you the passages in Holy Scripture that should be read in certain cases in order to find a way out of any impasse, whether it be:
- disease;
- business;
- debts;
- family relationships;
- children's disobedience.
Find the real one Orthodox teacher, it's like winning the lottery big prize. Having good friend who is always ready to help not only through the word of God, but also in deed, must be greatly appreciated and respected.
Spiritual issues of the Orthodox faith:
- Can a pet be buried in a human cemetery?
A spiritual mentor can have many wards, each of them needs attention, and a family also lives near the teacher, she also needs time to devote, therefore, treat the messenger of God with special warmth and care, respecting his time.
Important! Not a single psychologist or coach takes responsibility for the consultation, while an Orthodox counselor is responsible for every Christian before God, for he is entrusted with “sheep feeding”.
To achieve the goal and solve the problem by worldly specialists, a variety of methods are good, including hypnosis and manipulation. God's servant will walk along the path of Light, leading the people entrusted to him, guided by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the canons of Orthodoxy, and the experience of the Fathers of the Church.
bible reading
The ultimate goal of spiritual growth is to strengthen an unbelieving Christian on the path to eternal life, to help him truly become churched, to grow in faith so that he can soon become, albeit small, but a mentor.
What are the criteria for choosing a counselor?
When choosing a Christian counselor, it is better for a person to be guided by his own feelings, and not by the advice of friends.
To be honest, not all priests are an example of Christian life, it is not for us to judge them, for this there is the judgment of God, but it is also difficult to trust an unbeliever in a small servant of God.
- A spiritual mentor should set an example of the Christian life, not only in the ministry, but also in everyday affairs, family relationships. It is difficult to trust a person whose children have gone the wrong way, there is no harmony in relations between spouses.
- Behavior during fasting characterizes the clergyman. How to trust someone who, while preaching strict abstinence, is himself suffering from obesity, because fasting in Orthodoxy lasts more than 200 days.
- One of the indicators of choosing a spiritual guide is trust. Some priests suffer, to put it mildly, from language incontinence, when what is said in confession becomes the property of the entire settlement, especially in villages and small towns.
Confession in sins
A person who comes for advice, revealing his soul, then burns with shame and resentment. From the help of such "advisers" there is only one harm. False, dishonest people cannot claim the role of a spiritual mentor, just like thieves and adulterers, even those who hide their vices very much. God will surely bring to light grave sins especially for priests. For it is said that to whom God has entrusted much, from them He will ask much (Luke 12:48).
- A trustee from God is manifested in relation to the poor, the sick and the elderly. A true servant “will not take off his last shirt from his neighbor”, if necessary, will serve without pay, with a blessing.
- It is terrible to fall into the hands of a fanatical believer who, with his “righteousness”, will humiliate, fill the person who trusts him with a sense of self-humiliation and failure, as a Christian. A sensible teacher will spell out the Scriptures, teach how to understand Him, to accept them in the mind and heart, to live according to Him, walking the bright path to Christ.
- Unrighteous rage, anger during a consultation is unacceptable for a priest to whom a person of little faith or lost in passions has come.
A spiritual mentor will always find something to thank God for in any situation and will teach the ward how to trust the Creator and Savior according to the word of God.
Advice! Do not stop, it is better to make a mistake two or three times than to stand still. Each time, before going to a consultation or a conversation, you need to pray earnestly and ask the Creator to direct you to that mentor who will lead you on the right path.
If after a meeting alone with the chosen mentor there is a feeling of relief, joy, peace and tranquility sets in, when you want to plunge deeper and deeper into the word of God, there is an understanding of the Sacrifice of Christ and faith in strengthened prayer, then be sure that the spiritual God sent to you is in front of you. mentor.
If this is not a priest of your church, then ask for blessings in the temple to receive spiritual grace from another person.
The counselor becomes a teacher, adviser, friend who will show the way out in a difficult life situation. At the same time, he will understand and not condemn, he will act in love, which the Holy Trinity fills the heart of the mentor.
How to choose a spiritual father? Archpriest Vladimir Golovin
Who is a spiritual father? How not to make a mistake in choosing a spiritual mentor? These difficult questions will be answered by Bishop Panteleimon (Shatov) in this article.
Who is a confessor, a spiritual father? Is it better to look for a confessor from monks or from married clergy?
A confessor is usually called a priest, to whom they regularly go to confession (with whom they confess predominantly), with whom they consult in difficult life issues. The words of the confessor are taken as advice. That confessor who demands absolute obedience to himself, insists on the literal, strict, strict implementation of his advice, claims to be an elder - can do much harm; the confessor must be chosen, as it seems to me, meek and humble.
A spiritual father is a confessor who has long known the person who comes to him for confession, is well acquainted with him, and has testified his love for him by his attentive attitude towards the person. I usually do not make a distinction between a confessor and a spiritual father, it seems to me that these concepts are basically the same, but a spiritual father is perhaps the confessor who cares more about his spiritual children, devotes more time to them, whom the spiritual children are called spiritual father.
How to choose a confessor?
The attitude towards the confessor should still be cautious. In our time, there are cases when priests shy away from being confessors, either out of false humility, or out of unwillingness to engage in pastoral work, and there is another extreme, when a person imagines himself to be a good confessor, and he likes to manage spiritual life one’s own children – such confessors, of course, must be avoided. The confessor must be both kind and humble, but also exacting and strict.
The confessor can be from the monks, and 
from the white clergy, everything depends on the person, and not on what class he belongs to. And in the world there are both very good priests and negligent ones, and in the monastery there are people who give completely wrong advice, impossible penances and bows for already confessed sins, but there are wonderful elders. It also happens that monastics who entered the monastery at a young age do not know well family life and sometimes they can make mistakes in their recommendations, not understanding all the subtleties of family problems.
It is better to confess only with your confessor, though there is such an extreme case when a person refuses, even in case of need (illness, long absence of a confessor), to confess to another priest.
There is a danger, especially for girls and women, of spiritual attachment to a confessor. Sometimes this leads to very serious consequences. Here it is necessary to distinguish spiritual attachment from spiritual connection with the confessor. How to distinguish emotional attachment? Its signs are: jealousy, envy of others (“the priest devotes more time to them, but less to me”), the desire for one kindness on the part of the confessor, resentment at his severity.
One should not allow spiritual attachment to the confessor, one must be very afraid of this. If there are any problems in the relationship with the confessor, you can approach the confessor of your confessor and try to resolve these issues with him.
