Every person is familiar with this feeling of melancholy, sadness, despair, when obsessive negative thoughts overcome, and life seems like a hopeless existence, full of fear and hopelessness. To alleviate physical suffering, it is enough to take painkillers and then consult a doctor. It is much more difficult to answer the question of how to cope with mental pain, because scientists have not yet invented magic pills that can heal the wounds of the soul.
What is mental pain
Mental pain, or suffering, is a severe psycho-emotional state that occurs as a result of the inability to satisfy a person’s most important life needs. Most often, the strongest emotional experiences come after a loss, be it death or separation from a loved one, loss of a job, financial situation, social status or even your favorite thing. Sometimes the soul hurts because of the inability to get what you want.
Any situation that unsettles you has one or another traumatic effect. The loss can be experienced for years, and forever remain a bleeding heart wound. A person can completely lose the meaning of life, as people say, give up on himself. This condition can lead to sad consequences - drug and alcohol addiction, prolonged depression and even suicide.
How to properly cope with mental pain
Mental trauma leaves terrible traces in the human psyche. Even seemingly minor grievances can cause great harm if they “tread on a sore spot”: they affect psychological trauma received in childhood, or evoke memories of tragic events that occurred earlier. Best advice How to cope with the mental pain that painful memories cause - to heal the trauma you once received. This process is slow and requires serious effort and the help of a professional psychologist.
It is worth learning to treat your mental health with the same attention as your physical health. It is best to begin healing mental wounds, as well as physical ones, as early as possible. If something terrible has happened in life, you need to make every effort to survive the grief correctly.
There is no need to suffer in silence, gritting your teeth. Perhaps in films and novels such heroes look incredibly courageous, but in real life unexperienced suffering remains a thorn in the soul and continues to break out for the rest of one’s life, poisoning the soul and body and leading to illness and aggression. Experiences must be extracted from oneself by any means. Give free rein to tears, confess to a priest, talk it out in a psychologist’s office, cry on a friend’s shoulder.
An excellent self-help method is pysanka. Its essence is to throw out all your experiences on paper, reaching your innermost thoughts. Pysanka helps you “give away” pain, break it down into its components, understand the hidden motives of your actions, and understand the most painful issues. Information on how to write Easter eggs correctly can be found on the Internet.
After strong emotions slowly begin to weaken, you need to give yourself nourishment and an opportunity to recover. To do this, you will have to learn to get rid of the past and start living here and now. There are great and very simple techniques that help you focus on the present. To return to the “now”, it is enough to stop the flow of thought at least for a moment, look around, see how amazing the world how sweetly the birds sing and how beautiful the sky is at sunset. Such simple exercises help you realize the value of life and show an alternative to depressive states, not allowing them to take over your consciousness.
The recovery process is to find a resource for future life in the tragic situation that has occurred. Correctly experienced suffering helps to gain invaluable experience and become a good help for new achievements. Remember, everything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
Eat simple ways alleviate the painful condition and look at life from its good side. If the injury is not deep, it is enough to follow these tips to regain peace of mind. Serious emotional experiences cannot be ignored; they need to be treated with the help of a psychologist. In this case, advice will be a good support for therapy.
- Take care of yourself. Find new interests and hobbies. Spend more time on fresh air, go out into nature, take a walk in the parks. Get enough sleep.
- Take care of your body. A great way to relieve pain is a relaxing massage, bath, or spa treatments. In addition to the pleasant sensations, these procedures have a beneficial effect on the body, help relieve tension and relax, and the body, as we know, is closely related to the mental state.
- Play sports. At physical activity The body produces endorphins, which are responsible for the body's resistance to stress and illness and improve mood.
- Learn to stop the flow of obsessive thoughts. Meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises are indispensable in this matter.
- Look for the positive in everything. As you know, every cloud has a silver lining, and the most hopeless situations can lead to unexpectedly happy consequences. Of course, it is blasphemous to seek joy in the death of a loved one, but in all other cases there will certainly be positive moments that will open up new opportunities or at least give a reason to smile.
- Don't isolate yourself and your pain. Do not turn your pain into the meaning of life and into an eternally bleeding wound. Learn to ask for help. Try to communicate with kind and bright people. If the trauma is deep, work with psychologists, join support groups.
- Work on yourself. Suffering is a reason to think about your existence and soul. Having realized its underlying causes, you can understand what exactly led to such consequences and correct your mistakes. Life is just beginning!
Video: Advice from Alex Yanovsky “What to do if you are in pain”
It is impossible to live life without tragedies and troubles. Suffering leaves its marks on a person’s soul. But if you learn to process heartache the right way, these scars will become reminders of the experience and serve as lessons on how to overcome adversity and emerge victorious.
What do you think is more painful – mental or physical? As practice shows, it is better to suffer from physical pain than from mental pain. The reason for this is the experiences that accompany one or another type of pain. How to cope and get rid of mental pain often becomes a problem with which people turn to a psychologist for help on the website.
Mental pain can be associated with suffering, torment, and rejection. It manifests itself differently than the physical one. If physical pain goes away immediately after the causes of its occurrence have been eliminated (for example, a splinter or wound has been pulled out), then mental pain is not so easy to relieve. Even if the reasons for its occurrence are clear, it is not always possible to eliminate them. The problem sometimes becomes difficult or even impossible to solve.
Mental pain is considered more dangerous than physical pain. This is explained by the fact that mental pain affects the functioning of the entire body. Several systems may lose their functionality at once. This is while physical pain often indicates the location of the lesion that should be treated. At the same time, the remaining systems retain their functionality.
What is mental pain?
If you don't accept something (illness, situation, reality, rude people, etc.), it begins to haunt you. By your non-acceptance you are simply running away from something, and it is catching up with you with its repetitions. This can answer the question of what mental pain is.
Pain is an integral part of human life. Every person experiences both physical and mental pain that occurs during certain stressful situations. Most people obviously have a negative attitude towards any pain. Is it really given to man to make him suffer? Or is pain a kind of lesson, through which a person becomes wiser, stronger, more experienced and more perfect?
If you did not benefit from the state you are in (whether it is negative or positive), you would not experience it.
The meaning of pain is to give a person information about the disruption of natural processes, to draw his attention to what is happening, and to stimulate him to restore harmony. After the pain realizes its meaning, it will pass. For example, when you step on a nail (disturbance), you feel pain, remove your foot, and heal the wound (stimulation and restoration). Afterwards, you give yourself time for the wound to heal, which allows the pain to go away. It’s the same with any mental pain. Stop disturbing the wound (physical and mental) and the pain will go away. Let the pain fulfill its purpose and you will feel better.
During acute pain It is impossible to make an informed decision. Therefore, being at such a stage of life, you just need to give free rein to your pain. You can cry, you can suffer, you can feel the aching pain. Don't be afraid of this as it is a natural process in the first stage of treatment. Every day it will become easier and easier. And this applies not only to physical, but also to moral pain.
When a person suffers physically or mentally, he often seeks outside help. At the same time, the person himself does not want to do anything, wanting to shift all his problems and their solutions to other people. “A dead person cannot be cured!” That is, until a person begins to solve his problems himself, he will return to them again and again, complaining about those who did not cure him. This is why lonely people become even lonelier when relationships with those who were supposed to “cure” them of loneliness break down. This is why people become even more unhappy after breaking up with the partners who were supposed to make them happy in the first place. Where a person places his own “recovery” on others, he continues to remain sick. Someone else cannot “cure” you.
A person often treats pain, not the cause of it. For example, if the stomach hurts, a person takes pills but does not change his diet. A person is jealous and forces his partner not to communicate with other people, without understanding his own insecurities and selfishness. By removing the cause, the effect disappears on its own!
Most diseases are materialized in nature. The way you feel about yourself and the world around you is how you get sick (if negative) or not sick (if positive). It turns out that pain and everything connected with it is a kind of lesson, pointer or guideline that indicates what a person is doing wrong, where he is making mistakes and where he is contradicting himself. Is it worth refusing and being offended by such an impartial and straightforward teacher? Probably not, because only pain will tell the truth about yourself.
How to cope with mental pain?
The peculiarity of mental suffering is that a person sometimes rejects it. It is so painful and unbearable that it soon goes into the subconscious. Psychologists say that unexperienced and unresolved mental suffering soon becomes unconscious. This is how a person solves the problem of how to cope with mental pain.
The idea that psychological pain can be eliminated through avoidance becomes erroneous. In fact, it is stored in a person, it simply goes deep into his subconscious and emerges every time when traumatic situations arise that cause similar experiences. Moreover, each time the suffering becomes stronger and more painful.
There is another category of people who do not suppress, but try to free themselves from emotional experiences. This happens by speaking out to their friends, relatives, and colleagues. You can really calm down and unwind a little by expressing your problem, which is often used in psychoanalysis.
Another way to deal with heartache can be problem solving. If the problem is emotional or moral, then eliminating the problem will help in escaping suffering and torment. For example, make peace with your family if you are in a quarrel with them.
To cope with mental pain, you need to understand that it is a rejection of reality as it is. A person has desires that are not realized in a specific situation. If he does not come to terms with this, does not try to look for ways to get out of the situation, then he plunges into suffering. There is one of two ways out:
- Or solve a problem that does not suit the person.
- Or come to terms with its presence, change your attitude towards it.
How to get rid of mental pain?
Coping with moral feelings is much easier than getting rid of mental pain, which has periodically surfaced in a person for many years and tormented him. Here, sometimes one cannot do without the help of a psychologist, since over the years a person begins to forget what caused him such experiences. The pain remained, but its causes were forgotten. This happens especially clearly with childhood mental traumas, which a person may no longer remember as an adult.
How to get rid of mental pain on your own? You need to accept what is unpleasant or annoying to you, then you will experience it at the level of emotions, actions, sensations, and it will leave you alone. The main thing is to simply accept (feel, feel emotions, experience or resolve the situation; be calm about what is happening to you). It is to accept (“This is... Let it be... So what?”), and not to love - hear the difference.
Don't resist. You can heal or solve a problem very easily by simply accepting what is happening as a fact, as its presence, without resistance, without flight, without aggression. Accept the situation and it will be resolved very quickly.
People often experience psychological pain, calling it mental pain. But in reality, their pain is the result of their rejection. Pain means you are not taking something. And as soon as you accept what you reject (don’t like, irritate, humiliate, etc.), your pain will go away. Accept the current situation: “Yes, it is.” You don't need to love her, you don't need to agree. Just realize that it exists, accept its presence in your life. Then you can learn how to live with it and not react to it. But there is no need to be afraid and run away, because she will catch up with you. You just need to learn to see it, realize its presence and not react.
Heartache after a breakup
People often experience emotional pain after a breakup, especially if their partners initiated it, and the news of the breakup was unexpected. Cases when a loved one cheated on his partner also leave heartache. Although the initiator of the break may be the one who was betrayed, he will still suffer and suffer.
Mental pain after a breakup is as unbearable as after the death of a loved one. Here a situation arises when one person does not become part of another’s life. The former partner is alive, but he no longer wants to show love, be around, or give his time and energy.
After a breakup, a person goes through 3 stages:
- Negation.
- Indignation. Here you should accept and experience all the emotions that alternate inside.
- Reconciliation (awareness).
Only at the last stage does a person experience peace of mind, when he finally, at all levels, comes to terms with the fact that his ex-partner is no longer worth waiting for, loving, and looking for. To come quickly this stage, psychologists advise getting rid of everything that reminds you of your ex-partner, and also not seeking contact with him.
If a final decision is made, then it is better to come to terms with it. Every day it will become easier, which is called getting used to the new life. To speed up this process, recommendations are given for self-development. While you are distracted by other matters and concerns, the mental pain after a breakup goes away.
Severe mental pain
The greater the loss or loss, the greater the emotional pain experienced. It is accompanied by a range of different sensations:
- Torment.
- Yearning.
- Confusion.
- Loneliness.
- Guilt.
- Shame.
- Humiliation.
- Grief.
- Fears.
Severe mental pain is eliminated by solving the problem that provoked it, coming to terms with an unpleasant situation, or waiting for the time when all emotions burn out. Sometimes you just need to give yourself time to suffer in order to move on to the next stage - the beginning of a new life.
In parallel, you can use the following tips:
- Help people who are worse off than you.
- Say nice things to other people and praise yourself.
- Practice breathing exercises for relaxation.
- Be distracted by other types of worries and activities.
- Rest.
Bottom line
Mental pain is not a natural state of a person, but it manifests itself as a reaction to external situations and stimuli. With the help of relaxation exercises and conversations with a psychologist, you can achieve quick results in getting out of a depressive state. What is important here is how much a person wants to get rid of mental pain and what he does for this.
As an emotion, mental pain arises in response to a sharp global change in the usual way of life personality that a person interprets as an important negative event. In most cases, such an emotion is a consequence of a significant loss for the individual, for example: the death of a close relative, separation from a beloved partner, a breakup due to betrayal best friend, death of a pet, loss of social status.
A rapidly arising emotion, with a kind of negative assessment by the individual, is transformed into a long-term negative experience, transforming mental pain into a deep, intensely expressed feeling. According to psychologists, any sudden loss by a person of significant components of life, be it the loss of a loved one or a valuable item, removes an essential link from the number of factors necessary for the individual’s survival.
Until recently, most doctors adhered to the hypothesis that mental pain was purely subjective. Modern psychologists adhere to the theory that mental pain is a phenomenon completely different from bodily sensations, a kind of unconscious suffering for one’s own “I”. However, extensive research conducted by American neuropsychologists refuted this statement. Images obtained using a magnetic resonance imaging scanner confirmed the identity in the process of development of mental pain and physiological pain. In both cases, when a person experiences both mental suffering and physical pain, activation of neurons in the limbic system of the brain is observed.
It has also been established that mental anguish can manifest itself at a physiological level, in particular, it can be felt as psychogenic pain. This type of pain syndrome is not associated with somatic pathologies and does not have a clear localization. Often mental, as well as psychogenic pain, is an indispensable companion to depression, hysteria, hypochondria, phobic anxiety and other psycho-emotional disorders.
Causes
As a rule, humanity is accustomed to shifting all responsibility for the occurrence of moral suffering exclusively to external factors and circumstances. However, this unpleasant experience of a psychosomatic nature can arise due to prolonged physical and mental stress, for example: a constant feeling of irrational fear, long-held emotions of anger. Without taking into account the original physiological nature of such reactions: a deficiency of certain chemical substances– neurotransmitters, excessive production of anxiety hormones, a person interprets his sensations as an exclusively internal feeling, not paying attention to the accompanying muscle spasms, tension headaches and other somatic symptoms.
Quite often, a person cultivates mental pain on his own, creating a direct association with painful sensations experienced in the past from some event. Such a conscious fixation on negative situations in personal history connects any, even insignificant, phenomenon with previously experienced suffering, leading to a chronic mental “shake-up”.
Often, the mental pain demonstrated to others masks a person’s obscene thoughts. Thus, behind the suffering of the soul, there may be hidden an individual’s internal cynical need to gain certain benefits, for example: to attract attention to oneself by any means, to receive a guarantee not to experience a fiasco in actions. Mental anguish displayed on display can be a skillful weapon of revenge or become a means to achieve power over others.
An important reason for the widespread prevalence of mental suffering is the historical fact that Christian morality encourages and cultivates mental pain. In the understanding of believers, torment of the heart is a virtue, an indicator of righteousness and true faith person. Modern culture, comparable to Christianity, preaches the principle: the experience of suffering is dignity, special heroism, a kind of indicator of an educated humane personality, a necessary destiny of a person on the path to transformation.
How to cope with mental pain: advice from psychologists
Step 1. Give yourself time to suffer
How to cope with mental pain - an uninvited guest who unceremoniously destroys happiness and faith? To cope with mental pain, you should give yourself time to go through a difficult period, without rushing or pushing yourself. Remember: for most people, mental pain subsides on its own, provided that the “bleeding wound” is not opened. This is similar to how relaxation occurs over time after muscle spasms, or how a psychogenic headache goes away after quality rest. The speed of natural healing of the body depends on a number of factors: the person’s age, his psychological characteristics, the state of the central nervous system, the significance of the experienced events for the individual.
Step 2. Get rid of the habit of dramatization
Unfortunately, most of our contemporaries, prone to heart torment, do not have sufficient psychological knowledge of how to relieve mental pain, or do not use the skills in practice. Many of us have ritual patterns of behavior, the essence of which is “to rub salt in the wound.” This manifests itself in the habit of raising and discussing a sore subject, remembering bygone “happy” days, not letting go, but pursuing a person, even when the futility of the relationship is clearly clear. Of course, a minor feeling that arises after a tragic event is a natural and understandable state, but the habit of deliberately dramatizing and increasing the scale of the disaster must be eradicated. If mental pain in the heart is provoked by an event that cannot be changed, for example: with an incurable illness of a loved one, you should work on emotions and change the interpretation of the situation.
Mental suffering can, consciously or not, be enhanced by those close to you, by touching on weak points, touching on unpleasant topics, and giving “practical” advice. In such situations, in order to relieve mental pain, it is necessary to reconsider personal contacts, temporarily stopping communication with such people who provide a disservice.
Step 3. We measure our torment with the difficulties of the universe
Most people rush into a battle with mental pain without understanding whether the problem actually exists. Psychologists say that 99% of all “unsolvable” difficulties are created independently by man, or more precisely, by the brain. People make mountains out of molehills; temporary troubles are elevated to the level of an apocalypse. And the mental pain that arises is not evidence of an insurmountable threat, but the fact that the person is confused in the interpretation of events, he lacks knowledge and skills.
In such a situation, mental pain is a valuable gift of nature, directing a person to study his personality, think about the meaning of life, and think about his reality. Psychologists advise recognizing the fact that a personal problem is the smallest grain in the complex structure of the universe. Understanding this allows an individual to dive much deeper than his difficulties, gives a person a chance to gain wisdom, change for the better, perform only useful actions and not waste energy in vain.
Step 4. Study ourselves and our suffering
An important step in overcoming heartache is to give honest answers to the questions: “What truth does heartache reveal? What lesson do I need to learn from this event?” To cope with mental pain, you need to dive into it and study it. And faith in your own strength, purpose and motivation will help you get out of a difficult situation. Every person has a cherished dream, the implementation of which is constantly postponed until later. A person, guided by primitive instincts, does not leave himself a chance to realize his dreams because of his own laziness, invented excuses for inaction, invented fears and lack of faith.
To get rid of mental pain, you need to devote time to studying your condition and try to determine the real cause of your feelings. To do this, you should outline your activities down to the smallest detail on a piece of paper. last week and try to describe your current feelings. For more than half of people, mental pain is triggered by regret about misused time spent on absolutely useless things.
For example: a housewife, instead of devoting time to personal development and education, full-fledged social contacts, and body care, sees her purpose solely in performing routine household chores. Often, mental pain in a woman with a similar lifestyle arises from accumulated fatigue from monotonous housework, which does not receive proper appreciation from her husband, and reaches a critical point when her husband leaves the family.
What to do in such a situation, and how to cope with mental pain? Accept a fait accompli, reconsider your life priorities, change your field of activity, work to reveal new facets of your personality, try to find your zest.
Step 5. Reviewing your lifestyle
Important actions that must be performed daily in order to escape from the bottomless abyss and cope with mental pain:
- eat,
- sleep,
- move.
You should create a varied, healthy, complete and tasty menu, enjoying the very ritual of eating. Sleep is an important component for restoring health, a magical cure for pain. Movement is precisely the reason why any organism lives.
To get rid of mental pain you need to have a healthy body, because stability emotional sphere directly depends on physical condition. In order to quickly cope with a painful state of mind, you need to “turn on” the body’s resources by going in for sports. Exercise stress- this is not only a way to be in great shape and maintain physical health, but also a chance to achieve harmony in the inner world, get moral pleasure, and stand on the true life path and find peace of mind.
Step 6. Take care of loved ones
When your heart is completely sad, remember your loved ones and start taking care of them. Sometimes it is very difficult to take a step towards others, because when the soul suffers, all thoughts are focused only on one’s own condition. By getting rid of the barriers of selfishness, showing attention and love to another person, you will receive gratitude, a surge of energy and an incentive to rise and live as a reward. Therefore, by doing good to others, a person takes care of his own well-being and can cope with the suffering of the heart.
Step 7. Get rid of destructive emotions
To survive mental pain, you need to get rid of negative emotions. Remember: the one who justifies and cultivates resentment, envy, jealousy is doomed to feel mental anguish, because the accumulated intensity of negative passions will first of all destroy the person himself.
Step 8. Say “no” to bad habits
Attention! Many people experiencing suffering try to get rid of mental pain with the help of alcohol, drugs, and risky activities. Due to severe, painful internal sensations and a lack of understanding of the nature of mental pain, a person, instead of making efforts aimed at changing his personality, prefers to run away from reality, losing himself in the fog of destructive addictions. However, such a measure not only will not help cope with mental pain, but also creates even more dangerous problems, depriving willpower and taking away the last hope for happiness.
Step 9. Temper your soul
Remember that it is easier to prevent mental pain than to cope with it. You should develop your emotional stability, train mental fortitude, strengthen psychological invulnerability. You need to begin hardening your soul by successfully overcoming the little things in life. The basic rule: identify the incorrect interpretation of the event and change your perception of the situation to at least a neutral view.
For example: you were fired from a prestigious position as a result of layoffs. Natural emotions will be anger, resentment, rage, disappointment, fear for the future. However, such a forced “departure” brings a lot of positive aspects: to introduce novelty into everyday life, the opportunity to try oneself in a new field, to get another education, to motivate one to succeed in one’s own business, to discover one’s talents in another field. In this case, a positive interpretation of events will not give the slightest chance of being captured by your mental anguish.
Step 10. Working the facial muscles
The strangest and funniest, but effective way How to cope with the torment of the soul: chew chewing gum vigorously. The fact is that suffering involves static “freezing” and muscle tension, including the facial muscles. Rhythmic and energetic movements of the jaws relieve muscle immobility, eliminating spasms.
If you cannot cure mental pain on your own, you should seek professional help from psychologists.
There is physical and mental pain. The first one is quite easy to deal with, because modern medicine can quickly determine its source and prescribe the necessary course of treatment. But with mental pain everything is much more complicated. Therefore, many people live with it for years without fully understanding what caused it to appear.
But psychology does not stand still. Having delved into the nooks and crannies of consciousness, experts have learned a lot about the human psyche, in particular how to get rid of mental pain. Following simple tips, you can not only overcome your inner suffering, but also regain lost happiness.
Mental pain: what is it?
It is very difficult to give an accurate description of this phenomenon. After all, the inner world cannot be measured, touched, and even less seen. But at the same time, the sensations of psychological trauma are no less painful than those of a fracture or burn, and sometimes they can be much worse.
So what is heartache? First of all, it is a feeling caused by consciousness in response to emotional shock. Depending on the cause of its occurrence, the pain can be either barely noticeable or heartbreaking. But even after minor shocks, a person feels overwhelmed and broken, as if he had run out of electricity.
And if you do nothing, then soon the pain will be complemented by despair. And when you give up completely, depression will come. But fighting this enemy is much more difficult, and sometimes even impossible without the help of a specialist.
But before you learn how to cope with mental pain, you should understand its sources. After all, this is the only way to overcome her without harming yourself.
Where do emotional shocks come from?
Many are sure that emotional distress can only arise after serious emotional upheaval. For example, the death of a loved one, the discovery of a serious illness, an accident, betrayal, and so on. Naturally, such life shocks will affect a person’s psyche, but the truth is that in most cases, the causes of mental pain are less noticeable reasons.
So, what can disrupt inner harmony and bring confusion into the soul?
1. Life behind the mask. IN modern world Often you have to lie, not only to others, but also to yourself. This is necessary to present yourself in a better light - to become more significant. But you will have to pay for the lie with your peace of mind, because our consciousness does not like being played with. And even more so, it will not calmly accept the fact that they want to change it.
2. Unfinished tasks. Quite often, mental pain arises from dissatisfaction with one’s own actions. For example, when, because of work, you have to sacrifice a child’s performance, or when, instead of going to the gym, a person lay on the couch all day. All these unfulfilled dreams, plans and meetings fall like a dead weight on your shoulders and are guaranteed to lead to emotional depression.
3. Impotence. Lack of money, strength, beauty, health, knowledge - this list can be continued for a very long time, but the essence is the same - powerlessness. When a person cannot get what he wants, he suffers.
There's nothing worse than unrequited love
Heartache from love is a separate case. Unlike other troubles, unrequited feelings can hurt greatly. And the more a person strives to get the object of his desire, the stronger the pain digs into his heart.
In such cases, it is often said that the person seems to be drying up. This is partly true, because apart from dreams of his beloved, he is not interested in anything. It becomes completely unimportant what is happening around, what people are around and what to do next.
And in order to save its owner from danger, consciousness sends him an alarm signal - pain. In this way, the brain tries to force a person to look around and understand that it is impossible to live like this any longer.
Three strict prohibitions
Before you begin your own healing, you should remember one important rule: never slide into the abyss of vice. Indeed, during this period the temptation is very great, and, alas, many succumb to it, making more and more attempts to quench their pain with the help of alcohol, nicotine and drugs.
This method not only does not relieve pain, but also increases emotional distress. The feeling of one’s own lack of will complements the already gray picture, pushing one to give up. Having set foot on this path, a person is deprived of the opportunity to reason sensibly, which will certainly lead to defeat.
Therefore, it is worth strictly prohibiting alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. This will not only help you concentrate on finding a solution to the problem, but will also keep you healthy. And, as you know, it is worth its weight in gold. It is much better to get addicted to green tea, it is not only healthy, but can also lift your mood a little.
Awareness is the first step to peace of mind
As stated above, heartache comes in many forms. Therefore, it is important to understand what caused it this time. Having looked into yourself, you should understand your own feelings, how long ago they appeared.
In most cases, the answer lies on the surface, you just have to look a little closer and you will find it. After this, solving the problem will be much easier, because, knowing the enemy by sight, you can build a war strategy.
But sometimes there are several sources of emotional excitement, and they are so closely intertwined that it is difficult to distinguish them from each other. Therefore, even when the main problem is found, you should continue to search, because who knows what else is hidden from view.
Perhaps, at first, such an exploration of one’s own consciousness will not be easy, but you should not stop. Over time, such a practice will become habitual, moreover, the brain will begin to take it for granted, opening access to hidden corners of consciousness.
Not all problems can be solved
Sometimes it is impossible to eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, you cannot resurrect a dead person, erase memories of a loved one, become someone else at one moment, and so on. What to do then? How to cope with mental pain?
Answer: no way. It is simply impossible to completely get rid of such pain, no matter how much time passes. The only thing that remains is to learn to live with this feeling, to accept it as part of yourself. This will help reduce the pain just enough that you can calmly coexist with it.
Although this does not seem like a very happy prospect, it is still the reality. And accepting it means embarking on the path of getting rid of suffering. This is the only way to get the much-desired peace and begin to experience joyful feelings again.
Eat, sleep and walk
Due to emotional stress, the body weakens, and as a result, problems become more and more difficult to deal with. Therefore, it is very important not to forget about things like sleep, food and walks in the fresh air.
- When going to bed, a person is left alone with his problems, which sometimes makes it very difficult to fall asleep. But you need to understand that without night rest the brain does not work well, which will further aggravate the situation. To fall asleep faster, you should use counting rhymes; they help you to distract yourself and relax.
- Healthy eating. You should not eat stress with anything, otherwise stomach problems will be added to the mental trauma. It is also worth taking care of your daily intake of vitamins and minerals; they will strengthen not only the body, but also the psyche.
- Walks. Even though in times like these you might want to hide from the world, you shouldn’t do that. Short walks around the area will not only enrich your blood with oxygen, but also help you unwind a little. The main thing is not to delve into yourself, but to try to catch something new in the surrounding landscape.
Sport is the best doctor
Nothing dispels sadness like active training. Fortunately, in the modern world there are a huge number of all kinds of sports clubs and gyms, so finding the right one will not be difficult.
Sport can not only distract from current problems, but can also strengthen the will. Will make the mind more resistant to psychological stress and stress. He teaches you to win and overcome your own fears and failures.
The most difficult thing in this method is to take the first step, go out the door and go to the right address. And if you still can’t force yourself, then at least you should start doing exercises in the morning. Even if not much, it will help.
Visits to a psychologist
Experts know how to get rid of mental pain. A qualified psychologist will not only help you find the cause of suffering, but will also suggest the most effective ways her decisions. Unfortunately, many people are afraid of such meetings, because, in their opinion, this is a manifestation of weakness, and sometimes even worse - a mental disorder.
But the reality is that a psychologist can really help. And if you make an effort on yourself and turn to him, you can avoid many problems, including the appearance of depression.
But be that as it may, one thing is important - mental pain exists, and we need to fight it. There are many methods for this, but their essence is one - move forward, no matter what happens.
We all know well and often recall the comforting joke that if you have a headache, it means you have one. The same could be said about the soul. Moreover, unfortunately, in relation to the soul, the opposite statement is also true: the soul, if it exists, at least from time to time necessarily hurts. For loved ones or from your own sorrows, long and quietly or strongly and piercingly. Is it possible to identify mental pain with fashionable Lately diagnosed with depression? Yes and no. On the one hand, the restoration of subtle spiritual harmony is actually done by psychologists, whose field of activity even bears the second name of soul science. On the other hand, long before the advent of this direction of science and medicine, people with mental pain turned to clergy and simply wise people. And all because the soul is such a special part of each of us, not so much the body, but the personality. And even when it clearly hurts, you cannot touch, stroke or “operate” on it.
Therefore, one has to stroke and heal the soul in other, more subtle and more complex ways. And very personal. After all, just as there are no two identical souls, there cannot be equally effective “medicines” for them. And even each new pain requires a new, careful and individual approach. “In this case, is there any point at all in the existence of the corresponding science, since in principle there cannot be standard methods?!” - you may be surprised. We answer: maybe. Because for all our originality, we are all human beings, we walk on the same earth, breathe the same air and worry about similar things. That’s why psychologists are both necessary and important. But it is possible that in a given situation, a sincere confession or a sincere conversation with a close friend will bring much more benefit than a whole course of psychotherapeutic sessions. Today we will try to figure out how to find our own personal way and how to get rid of mental pain without additional moral wounds. And, if you don’t give definitive answers, then at least find that thread that you can pull to unravel the heavy tangle that’s clenched in your soul.
What hurts during heartache?
Soul – does it even exist? Or is it just an imaginary, completely ephemeral substance, invented long before the advent of modern scientific capabilities, in order to explain processes incomprehensible to our distant ancestors? But how then can something that does not exist experience such obvious painful sensations and cause severe suffering! To answer this question, you will have to look at pain (any kind - external and internal, physical and mental) not as an unconditional evil, but as a certain mechanism created by nature for a reasonable purpose. This purpose is to give us a signal that something has gone wrong - in the body, in thoughts or life. This failure may at first be quite small and unnoticeable, but if it remains ignored, it gradually turns into vague anxiety, worry, and then into fear. Fear gives rise to heavy thoughts, and they, in turn, agitate the soul, squeezing it and making it hurt.
At different times, people looked for (and found!) different means of getting rid of mental pain. First in the church, which saw the cause of heartache in sin and prayed for its remission. Later, at a meeting with psychologists who materialistically deny the existence of the soul and use other tools. But the essence was and remains unchanged: an inexplicable feeling that eats a person from the inside and prevents him from enjoying life has visited everyone at least once. And, regardless of worldview, level of education, religious preferences, national and gender characteristics and sphere of activity, everyone, one way or another, looked for their own way of deliverance. Because otherwise, mental pain can completely paralyze consciousness and deprive life of the meaning. But if you treat it as a symptom that indicates some other problem, then you can and should pull yourself together in time and seek help. But to whom? With a bad tooth we go to the dentist, with a broken leg we go to the traumatologist. To whom should I take my aching soul? Unfortunately, there is no definite answer, as well as a professional doctor of the soul. But you can listen to yourself and become such a doctor for yourself. And a psychologist, confessor and/or loved one in this case will help and support you along this path.
Effective treatment for mental pain
Contrary to the stereotype, waiting is not always the best remedy healing the soul. Time really does heal, but sometimes this treatment takes too long and does not completely exclude the possibility of relapses. Mental pain is caused by a variety of reasons, and therefore the means of relief are also varied and multifaceted. But there is a certain “golden code” that can be used as a basis for anyone seeking to get rid of mental pain as quickly as possible. To do this, you will have to fulfill several conditions. In our version there are 12 of them - because this number is considered magical or, at least, positive. Who knows, maybe the magic of numbers will partially help alleviate mental pain. And if not, then no one has canceled the harmony of numbers, aesthetics and simply the order of things. Follow it: 
- Drive away the negativity. Don’t hold it in and don’t accumulate it for hours, days, weeks... Find a way to get rid of what’s gnawing at you from the inside, to throw it out. Talk it out, cry, even scream. You can do this alone, but it is better together with a very close and understanding person. Don't be afraid to strain or offend him. For real close person will correctly understand your condition and try to alleviate it, take away some of your pain or help you release it. And even the very presence of a soul mate will certainly make your soul feel that it is not alone and can count on reliable support. If such arguments do not convince you, then listen to the statistics regularly published by psychology publications. According to her, keeping silent about the situation, endless self-examination and delving into one’s own difficult thoughts only aggravates the condition that we called mental pain. Simply put, this is a huge load on the nervous system, which can subsequently result in not only psychological, but also physical ailments. Therefore, do not worsen your life even more, do not intensify your pain, but scatter it to the wind in all four directions.
- Look for the positive. A holy place is never empty, and the freed internal space needs to be filled with something. But not just anything, but good, kind, bright and constructive. Positive emotions have truly powerful healing powers, and professional psychologists, “people’s” soul experts, and representatives of religious cults agree with this. And everyone at the same time, especially looking from such different angles, cannot be wrong. In a mentally ill state, this can be difficult to believe, and even more difficult to do. But think about the fact that everything in the world is balanced. For every bad thing there is always an equivalent good. Moreover, even stronger, because life goes on, which means that the good always turns out to be stronger and wins. And it is in our power to help him. With your energy, with your internal resources. And to do this, it is enough to concentrate them on the positive aspects - and water wears away the stone. Don’t ignore even the most insignificant but positive facts of what is happening around you: the sun is shining in the morning and it’s not raining, the child brought an excellent grade in his diary, not a bad one, the taxi driver didn’t bother you with conversations on the road, but could have turned out to be a terrible talker. It is from these tiny but inevitable moments that the whole life is formed, day after day. These days pass, but the general emotional background remains. Now, more than anyone else, it is important for you that it has a “plus” sign. But no one except you can configure it this way.
- Forgive people that hurt you or became an indirect cause of your pain. When you forgive, it becomes easier because you no longer hold the burden of resentment within yourself and do not waste your mental strength on it. But you just need to be able to truly forgive, without deceiving yourself. Find a convincing justification for the offending person’s action or simply recognize his right to make this mistake. His action is his sin and his karma, and you gain participation only as long as you want it. Stop being part of other people's shortcomings, forget them and leave them to their owners. Think about yourself, about your cultivation, and about not doing such things. In the end, just be nobler and wiser, imagine that your forgiveness is a gift that you give to the offender despite his bad behavior. This is not the most best tactic intrinsic motivation and it smacks too much of pride, but if at first it helps you cope with the offense and forgive the offender, then it’s better to do so than not at all. Look for your path, comprehend what happened, and perhaps resentment will even be replaced by gratitude if you understand that another person’s action has shifted something important in your life and set off a chain reaction of changes. Which, as we know, always turn out for the better in the end.
- Ask for forgiveness, especially if the cats are scratching your soul and it’s your fault too. Conscience is an insidious quality. It seems that you can come to an agreement with her, but then it turns out that she has lurked in your soul like a cold snake, wrapped her rings around it and whispers to you about what you don’t want to think about at all. And this may well cause mental pain, and quite strong - depending on the strength of your feelings of guilt. Therefore, do not be afraid to “lose your crown” - ask for forgiveness from the one who offended you. Just look and you will feel better. Better yet, try to correct what happened, to make amends. How - there is no universal recipe. In some cases, repentance and asking for forgiveness alone will be sufficient. In others, you will have to influence the current situation and restore what is still subject to restoration. You may even have to look for ways to please your victim with something unrelated to the problem and thereby rehabilitate yourself as a good person. But if you really suffer precisely from the fact that you deceived or offended someone, then such behavior should definitely save you from mental pain, so go for it.
- Forgive yourself- it is very important. Sometimes, even after an apology has been received from others, one’s own repentance has been made and the previous relationships between people have been restored, inner peace still does not come, and the mental pain does not subside. As the old joke said in this case: “the spoons were found, but the sediment remained.” And the worst thing is if this residue remains on your own heart, because in this case, a reminder of the bad incident always remains with you, wherever you go, whatever you do. And only you can rid yourself of it. And in general, you are the most important and almost the only person who can cure you of mental pain. All the rest are just assistants in this operating room, ready at the right moment to provide a bandage of understanding or a clamp of patience. But the chief surgeon is you. And in your hands is the scalpel with which you must mercilessly cut off your pain so that its metastases do not spread deep into the soul. Or not mercilessly. Have pity on yourself. Have pity and forgive. Nobody is perfect, and you are no exception. You have your right to make a mistake and the strength to admit it. This is a full cycle of misconduct, go through it and move on without dwelling.
- Sublimate. That is, spend your mental strength not on experiencing your pain, but on more pleasant and useful activities. The most accessible and successful option is creativity, absolutely any kind. From cross stitch to ballroom dancing. The main thing is that during creative activities you forget about your mental pain, and after them you feel filled with something new and bright instead of it. Another option for sublimation is sports; it forces the body to work, not the brain, and thereby also distracts from heavy thoughts. Moreover, in the process physical exercise normalizes hormonal background, which has a positive effect on the emotional state. Another option is to get a pet and take care of it, loving it with all your heart, making guardianship over it an important part of your daily routine. Or just fall in love. A powerful release of endorphins into the blood is the best pain reliever for the soul. Although with severe mental pain, a new relationship may not work out. In this case, love those people who already make up your family and close circle of friends. Find joy in serving their interests and enjoy the time spent in their company. Travel, in company or alone, depending on your temperament and capabilities. You will see new places, unfamiliar people, whose lives may be worse than yours and will make you forget about your pain as something not as significant as it seemed. All this will distract you, take time and help you fill and survive the most difficult period. Or sign up for a volunteer group and help disadvantaged people and animals. Force yourself to be useful - perhaps this will be a reason to atone for your sins and finally get rid of your mental pain?
- Laugh. Or at least smile. And once again stretch your lips into a smile. Smile and laughter - that's all best protection from ill-wishers. And now it turns out that you yourself become an ill-wisher towards yourself. Don’t be led by this state of affairs, don’t let mental pain ruin your mood, condition, life. Even if a smile doesn’t make everyone brighter, the times of naive childhood are long gone, but think: perhaps your second soft smile will warm someone up and help get rid of heartache, if not for you, then for them. Everything good done unselfishly will definitely come back. The ancient sages said: “Do good and throw it into the water.” You don’t know where the current will take it, but sooner or later it itself or its reflection in the water surface will return to you. The earth is round. Well, if without esotericism, then positive emotions, expressed by a smile and laughter, tone all systems of the body, help it fight stress and normalize the state of the nervous system and the speed of reactions. Therefore, laughter therapy is a very real method of combating depressive conditions. If you don’t have the strength or desire to smile for no reason, buy a collection of jokes or watch KVN. And the Internet is generally an inexhaustible source of hilarious jokes and fresh gags, which will not only make you smile, but will also distract you from difficult thoughts for a long time, if you choose the right resources.
- Remember your body. By forcing yourself to smile, you not only affect your body emotionally, but also physiologically. Psychosomatics is not a myth, but a very real relationship between the state of the nervous system and all other organ systems of your body. When you are in an emotionally depressed state for a long time, it eventually begins to manifest itself not only in your mood and facial expression, but also in other, more serious symptoms. And widespread chronic fatigue syndrome is just one, and not the most severe, of them. Internal conflict can result in asthma, gastritis, migraines and even oncology. You can compare these processes to the fact that a person “eats himself” with feelings of guilt, resentment and torment. Thus, the pain of the ephemeral soul is embodied in the very real pain of tangible organs. Such self-punishment can be unconscious and gradually complicate life, or conscious, when a person deliberately deprives himself of benefits in an effort to bear punishment for his misdeeds. In particular, anorexia is one of the manifestations of dislike for oneself, for one’s soul and body. All that can be said about this is do not punish the body for the mistakes of the soul. Separate them, but keep them in harmony, and take care of both the first and the second equally.
- Trace the connection between your mental pain and the life events that preceded it. The fact is that psychosomatic manifestations sometimes “work” in the opposite direction; there is no single possible direction here. And it is possible that your mental pain has not only moral, but also physical reasons. Chronic diseases and developing processes deep within the body can become a prerequisite for a depressed, depressed state. You don’t even know about them yet, but they are already affecting his condition. Therefore, no matter how strange this advice may seem, to treat mental pain you need to cure bodily ailments. If cardiac turmoil does not go away for a long time and does not develop, going through its stages, then it makes sense to consult a doctor for a diagnosis, get tested and undergo basic blood, urine tests, etc. Don’t forget to support your mental strength with physical strength: watch your diet, eat healthy food and stick to your eating routine. Drink natural juices green tea and sufficient quantity clean water. Don’t pollute yourself with junk food - and then harmful thoughts will also visit you much less often. Because body hygiene is inextricably linked with the hygiene of the soul, this fact must be accepted and taken into account.
- Rejoice- more precisely, please yourself. Imagine that you are at home - Small child who feels bad and lonely, and really needs love, care and attention. Love yourself and give pleasant ones, good things. Not necessarily material ones, but they too. Allow yourself small but regular pleasures, and if suddenly doubt creeps in that you are pampering yourself too much, treat them as a medicine necessary to heal your soul. Such a cure can be a walk at lunchtime on a sunny day, or a delicious cake, despite your diet, allowed yourself with a morning cup of cappuccino. The main thing is that these compliments to yourself do not cause later regrets and remorse, because their task is to please and create a positive background in life to get rid of mental pain, and not to aggravate it. Update your wardrobe, buy a long-desired accessory or shoes, get a haircut, manicure, change your image. Take care of yourself as if you were a loved one who desperately needs support and positive emotions.
- Get rid of anchors, especially if the heartache is caused by the loss of someone or something important to you. This can be quite difficult, but you still need to find the strength within yourself and say goodbye to the past that cannot be returned. Don’t look for those to blame, don’t try to change what happened - just accept it as a given and move on, but without it. Throw away, donate, or properly hide anything that may become a reminder of the past. Stop deliberately recalling past memories and recalling past situations. If your heartache is caused by memories of a person who left your life by... at will, then do not try to look for a connection with him, real or imaginary. Neither calls nor meetings can bring back the past, but they hurt and intensify your pain. Even if it seems that even fleeting contact will ease the experience, this is an illusion. In fact, you will simply tear off a fragile crust from a wound that has just begun to heal. Let pride become your support and advisor: you don’t need to reach out to a person who doesn’t need you. Those people who should be in your life will never leave you or offend you, and everyone else should leave so as not to take someone else’s place in your personal world. Now it has become vacant and will soon be occupied by someone truly worthy.
- Accept the pain– this is the last, most important and perhaps the hardest advice. But this is the path to healing the soul: through the pain itself. Because it is an integral part of growth. Professional athletes say: “no pain - no gain,” that is, without pain there is no development. You need to constantly remind yourself that no pain goes away without a trace and always has a purpose, even if this purpose is not obvious to you now. But time will pass and, perhaps, it will turn out that it was this life test that opened before you understanding and the doors to something bigger and better. Catharsis is also a kind of pain, but it is also a revelation and cleansing. And there are two types of pain: pain for the sake of pain and pain for the sake of creation. The second type manifests itself when you do not resist fate and mental pain, but allow it to develop you and move you forward. This is your fight with yourself, the fight for a life better than now. Perhaps a scar will remain on your soul as a reminder of her. So let it be a reminder of your ability to survive and a symbol of your strength.
